Story: Fallout from nuclear bomb testing = too much radiation on a tiny island. Too much radiation on a tiny island = giant mutant crabs hungry for human brains!

Scares: Only when you see the cheesy crab monster, complete with eyelids. And the sexism; “stay there, Martie!”

Splat factor: Even though the crab monster eats brains, there’s not so much as a drop of blood anywhere. Well, unless you count some chocolate sauce on a guy’s leg after he’s “hurt” by said crab monster.

Closing scene “shocker”: No dice. This film cranks out the fun, then wraps it all up with a bow so the 50s audience could go home without a care in the world.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): Um. Yes. Original.

Trick or Treat?: Shakey cam as earthquake FX! A young Professor from Gilligan’s Island (that’d be Russell Johnson y’all)! A femme fatale with the obligatory pointy 50s boobs! (And why was that ever a thing?) This Rodger Corman schlock classic is an absolute hoot. Makes me long for a drive-in and a big ol’ bucket of popcorn. Well done, Mr. Corman. Well done.

I do love the underwater scuba scene, with all those fishies and rays. Just lovely. But Corman does have a soft spot for water. See: his current oveure, including Sharktopus and Dino-shark.

But one thing; it’s Crab Monsters, but there’s only one. Bummer. Other than that? For one hour, kick back and enjoy the silly. You know your grandparents did.

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.