Atomic Fangirl

“You look like Gandalf’s dick.” [Yep. High quality dialogue right here.]

Story: Two slackers named Karl and Miles head to a cabin in the middle of the woods to flip that sucker. But after a wild night of drinking and inadvertently summoning the Old Ones? Maybe this flip isn’t gonna be as easy as they thought.

Scares: None.
Splat Factor: Some blood here and there.

Subgenre: Remarkable Stupid Horror Comedies
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original. But stupid.

Trick or Treat?: I decided to give this a try simply because I love Reno 911‘s Thomas Lennon. But even Lennon’s hilariously absurdist style can’t compensate for the unlikeable leads. Think Tucker and Dan vs Evil meets The Color Out of Space, but written by someone who doesn’t understand comedy beyond stupid bro jokes.

“Kids! It’s okay! I’m not mad! Everybody needs to calm down!”

Story: In 1999, Buddy the unicorn is a popular kid’s show. The character that lives in a world filled with kids and anthropomorphic things. But when one of the kids isn’t as joyful as the rest? Buddy has a lot to say. And do. Buddy, put down the knife…

Scares: A building sense of dread.
Splat Factor: Lots of bloody violence and death.

Subgenre: Children’s Show Horrors
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original.

Trick or Treat?: Buddy is a strange mash-up of shows like Barney, The Twilight Zone‘s “It’s a Good Life”, and Adult Swim. Not everyone will get on the Buddy train, and not everybody should. (Looking at you, elementary school kiddos.) But for grown-up folks who are ready for something bizarre? This is definitely what Nurse Nancy – er, Nurse Grace now – ordered!

“This will be a haunted house, and you can celebrate with me. Please.”

Story: After a devastatingly brutal pandemic sweeps the world, Pumpkin hopes for a Halloween miracle; someone to celebrate with. But after four years, her hope that someone will answer her radio signal has faded. *sudden radio static*

Scares: The horror of isolation, and invasion.
Splat Factor:  Dead bodies, body parts blown apart, cannibalism.

Subgenre: Post-apocalypse Holiday Horror
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original.

Trick or Treat?: Hallowarrior is a quick, nasty bit of survival horror with a talented cast, and great premise, and lots of bloody goodness. Our Jack O’ Lantern overfloweth.

“Always looking for ways to serve you better. You’re gonna love the food!”
“Are you ready for what’s coming?”

Story: Fast food commercials. Aren’t they better than every other commercial? Don’t they make you hungry? Come to Buffet Infinity and take your mind off that weird noise, and all those disappearances! And maybe swing by Ahmed’s Pawn Shop for their crazy huge inventory! Don’t ask why their inventory is so huge, just come out of your house and head on down! Why are you in your house, are you hiding? Don’t hide! Come out!

Scares: An overall sense of dread.
Splat Factor:  Head explosion, cannibalism, various other body horror.

Subgenre: Epistolary Horror
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Hoo boy is this original.

Trick or Treat?: Infinity is crazy, disconcerting, and absolutely batshit. And it’s just what the horror genre needs right now; more unique voices creating things we’d never thought of before. This is an epistolary film that lets you connect the dots while you’re desperately wanting more.

“Ki ki ki ma ma ma…”

Story: Remember that kid that drowned at Camp Crystal Lake? You know, that camp where so many counselors died? Then the killer went to NYC and outer space? Yeah, this is a movie about all that.

Scares: Unless you get scared from film clips of movies you’ve probably already seen before? This is more infomational than eerie.
Splat Factor: Lots of clips from the film series. So, yeah. Lots of blood.

Subgenre: REALLY Long Documentaries
Year Released: 2013
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the book of the same name.

Trick or Treat?: It’s taken me a while to get to this one. Why? Because this sucker is almost seven hours long. That’s a whole lot of documentary at one go. So I didn’t do it in one go. And that’s exactly how I suggest you approach this beast.

“Well, that’s dumb.”

Story: Gwar “hosts” a series of stories that focus on the horror of sound and music.

Scares: Creepy rather than scary.
Splat Factor: Bodies ripped apart, decapitations, a a whole lot of creative, bloody kills.

Subgenre: Found Footage Horrors
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original.

Trick or Treat?: The V/H/S series has it’s good, it’s bad, and it’s straight up terrible. Add Mixtape to the dregs of this franchise. I checked my watch at least every three minutes. Each time, I was hoping it’d be the last segment, even when I knew the movie had just started. Let’s get to these stories.

“Something’s not right in this place.”

Story: Four college students try to figure out what’s going on with a strange book left in the office of professor Zandor, who’s gone missing. Meanwhile, the professor’s brother Amos is trying to bring Zandor back. But first, he’s gonna need a lot of hearts.

Scares: Only for the lightest of touches.
Splat Factor:  Lots of well done red stuff for such a low budget flick.

Subgenre: Z Grade Horrors
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but uses Lovecraft mythology as a jumping off point.

Trick or Treat?: Gateway is a perfect example of bare bones budget filmmaking. Sure, there’s a lot to goof on here, as with any empty wallet productions. While this is a messy story that barely holds together, I couldn’t help but be impressed with what the creators achieved with pocket lint and a dream.