Elsewhere Reviews: Kit Kat Duos Mocha and Chocolate Candy Bar

Originally published at The Green Man Review!

Chocolate and coffee are two flavors that seem made for each other. Both are bitter unless sweetened, some sort of milk makes them smoother and easier on the tum, and both are considered a treat after dinner. So naturally, when Kit Kat (fine, as much as I love KitKat as one word, I’ll follow their example – SIGH) decided to come out with a bunch of combo-flavors? Mocha and chocolate was at the top of the list. And yeah, I understand that mocha and chocolate is basically coffee, chocolate, and chocolate. But I’m okay with that.

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Freaky Fridays – “Malignant”

Horror, Cult Movies, Exploitation Cinema, 70s Schlock, and more! Let’s look at something cool! 

This film is so full of silly crap, two quotes win placement up top. Hooray!

Oh my God he speaks.”
‘He’s broadcasting his thoughts!’ – #CaptainObvious

“So I’m putting out a BOLO on Sloth from The Goonies?” – I can’t tell whether this line is supposed to be satirical, or lampshading. Or both. But it feels so much like CinemaSins, I’m adding a sin.

Genre: Horror Ripoffs Couched As Homage
Year Released: 2021
Pedigree: Written, produced, and directed by horrormeister James Wan
Where I Watched:  HBOMAX

Synopsis: Maddie is a nurse, I think? She’s got an abusive hubby, and a baby on the way. But when a shocking event happens? People start dying. Nobody she knows…OR DOES SHE? *cue way too loud repetitive bass beat*

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Elsewhere Reviews: Kit Kat Key Lime Pie Candy Bar – Limited Edition

Originally published at The Green Man Review!

Key lime pie. Kitkats. (I know. Hershey’s has this candy as two words, but I’ve always thought of ‘em as one. So that’s what I’m going with.) Two great tastes, right? With this limited edition flavor, you bet’cha. And I’m as surprised as you are.

This treat is labeled as wafers and a “key lime creme”, but there is a bit of chocolate listed in the ingredients. Milk and honey are listed there too, so keep that in mind if you’re limiting certain items. However, this is a treat, plain and simple, so why not indulge if you’ve a mind to? Especially when you get that whiff of key lime as soon as the package cracks open. The bar is a lovely shade of light pastel lime, and the four individual bars (in the regular pack) are softer than the regular chocolate used in their old faithful, but have a nice snap if, like me, you keep ‘em in the fridge before serving. (Even better; put a bar in the freezer for a real crunch.) 

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Elsewhere Reviews: Kit Kat Fruity Cereal Candy Bar – Limited Edition

Originally published at The Green Man Review!
One bite in, and off to the bin.

Fruit Loops candy? Sure. I’m game. Though I guess KK couldn’t spring for the rights for the official cereal, or Kelloggs didn’t want to do a collab. I can see why. DAMN this smells like candy plastic. You know what I’m talking about; when a food has so many chemical reactions going on that all you can think of is an 80s Strawberry Shortcake doll and that “strawberry” smell. But with more plastic.

This bar was so weird-in-a-gross-way I was actually scared to bite into this bad boy. Though gotta admit the McDonald’s Strawberry Milkshake Pink look of the “creme” coating is super cute. And are those rainbow sprinkles scattered throughout the coating? Aww! You’re adorable, boo. But I don’t trust you… Okay y’all, I’m going in. We’re real timing this, baybeeeee. (Yes I’m scared and using humor as a coping mechanism. Thank you for noticing.)

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“Queenpins” struck out with me

“Okay, here goes nothin’.”

Story: Two women who try their best and still can’t break even decide to take their high level couponing higher. Y’know by counterfeiting coupons. Naturally, they get busted…but it’s the journey to that destination, right?

Genre I’d put it in: Based-on-a-true-story Comedies That Could Have Been Better
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on a true story.

Gotta say: Okay, so I got this screener yesterday afternoon and hit theaters today, so I’m cranking this out top speed, no edits. Let’s do this… Interesting premise. High quality actors giving it their best. The comedic teamwork of leads Kristen Bell and Kirby Howell-Baptiste.


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BluRay News: “I Spit on Your Grave” – Jennifer Hills returns with a vengeance on 4K this Halloween!

There are horror classics and horror CLASSICS. ISoYG is definitely in the latter category; I remember watching this on VHS (thanks, Blockbuster) when I was in school. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart, but for splatter fans? It’s an absolute must. And now Ronin Flix has given us a real treat next month…Grave on 4K!

This should be a fantastic watch, and doubly so as ’tis the season (almost…? Okay, so I’ve already decorated.) Read on for all the details in the full press release after the jump!

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “Blue Bayou”!

Ready to get this Oscar Award Season Onslaught thang going? Then…synopsis!

An official selection of the 2021 Cannes Film Festival from award-winning writer/director Justin Chon, BLUE BAYOU is the moving and timely story of an uniquely American family fighting for their future. Antonio LeBlanc (Chon), a Korean adoptee raised in a small town in the Louisiana bayou, is married to the love of his life, Kathy (Alicia Vikander) and step-dad to their beloved daughter, Jessie (Sydney Kowalske). Struggling to make a better life for his family, he must confront the ghosts of the past when he discovers that he could be deported from the only country he has ever called home.

I’m getting serious Minari vibes from this film, and that’s a good thing. Ready? Let’s go!

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Thoughts & Stuff: “Shang-chi” made me tear up with happiness like a little bitch

For when a movie has already hit the screens – or hasn’t yet – but I feel the need to tell you guys something anyway. Boom. Here you go.

Most of you don’t know this – mostly because all you know of me is my tap-tap-tap on the keyboard – but my parents were Asian. Japanese-American, to be specific. Nisei to be super-specific, in case anyone cares that much. I myself am a little adopted mixed-breed. (woof.) So, growing up, it was A Big Deal whenever we’d see someone Asian on-screen that wasn’t in a martial arts flick. Seriously; I remember my mom and I flipping all the way out when Mr. T and Tina hit the TV. Til then (and since that show was canceled double-quick, almost immediately after) it was Barney Miller‘s Jack Soo (RIP, my guy), and various non-leading cast members on the original Hawaii Five-O. Yay…

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TrailerWatch – Amazon Prime drops first “The Wheel Of Time” teaser!

As a complete WoT nerd, I am stoked about this series, and have been for a while now. And this trailer doesn’t disappoint.

The trailer seems to focus on Moraine and the Aes Sedai sisters, making sure that newbie viewers understand the fantasy here. But damn Rosamud Pike looks wonderful as Moraine, as is Daniel Henney as her protector Lan. (Though IMDb only shows Henney in one episode, which is odd… MOAR LAN PLEASE)

The Wheel of Time hits Prime this November.

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TrailerWatch – 007 has secrets to reveal and “No Time to Die” in final trailer!

“When her secret finds its way out, it’ll be the death of you.”

Whoa. This one looks personal – and that’s saying something, especially after Skyfall. Synopsis!

In No Time To Die, Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help. The mission to rescue a kidnapped scientist turns out to be far more treacherous than expected, leading Bond onto the trail of a mysterious villain armed with dangerous new technology.

No Time to Die hits theaters October 8th, 2021.

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