Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Air”!

Hey sneakerheads! Synopsis!

From award-winning director Ben Affleck, AIR reveals the unbelievable game-changing partnership between a then-rookie Michael Jordan and Nike’s fledgling basketball division which revolutionized the world of sports and contemporary culture with the Air Jordan brand. This moving story follows the career-defining gamble of an unconventional team with everything on the line, the uncompromising vision of a mother who knows the worth of her son’s immense talent, and the basketball phenom who would become the greatest of all time.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves successfully rolls for initiative – huzzah!

“Grand larceny and skullduggery!”

Story: Poor Edgin. All he wanted was to be a good Harper, love his wife and daughter, and live in his groovy cottage. But Red Wizards put a stop to that. Now he and his bestie Holga are running from the law, trying to sort out their issues. But Edgin’s daughter Kira – and a magical artifact that could bring Edgin’s wife back from the dead – are in the hands of frenemy Forge Fitzwilliam. I’m sure there’ll be no need for quests, getting a band together, special artifacts, or anything like that. Things’ll be cool. Yep.

Genre I’d put it in: Roll Playing Films That Got It Right
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the RPG (roll playing game) Dungeons & Dragons.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves”!

Ready to campaign? Synopsis!

A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers undertake an epic heist to retrieve a lost relic, but things go dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves brings the rich world and playful spirit of the legendary roleplaying game to the big screen in a hilarious and action packed adventure.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Boo-Boo Review – “Scream VI”!

When I’m recovering from something stupid, time for a quick, easy to type review! Let’s gooooo!

“Who gives a fuck about movies?”

Genre: Franchise Slashers
Release Date: 2023
Where I Watched: Multiplex
Gist: The young survivors of Scream V head to NYC to either start college, or if your sam? Follow your sister to make sure she’s okay. But when yet another string of Ghostface murders happen near them? Let’s just say the gang is less than pleased to find themselves in a franchise.

What I Think:Y’all have my hand surgery to thank for this quickie. That, and the fact that I was too lazy to hit a DC screening for this film. But VI is a lot of fun, and sinks into the whole “Ghostface Takes Manhattan” vibe immediately; in fact, Jason Takes Manhattan is playing in a co-ed’s apartment near the beginning of the film. So fans will grok exactly what’s going on immediately. This is another loving homage to slasher movies that do way too many sequels, which is in danger of becoming a hypocritical commentary at this point in the Scream franchise. Still? The story here is worthy of another installment, and directors Matt Bettinelli-Olpin & Tyler Gillett (who both worked on V and Ready or Not, which is probably why the wonderful Samara Weaving is here. So thanks, guys.)

Matt & Tyler are able to wrangle cast members old and new, pulling them together to make a cohesive, believable new blend of friends, possible baddies, and soon-to-be-bodybagged. Special shout-out to Jasmin Savoy Brown who reprises her role as BFF/Randy’s niece Mindy. When I grow up, I want to be as cool as Mindy is. The movie clocks in at two hours, and while it doesn’t go by in a blink, it never drags. The gore is amped up a bit here – Mindy does give us a heads-up on that in the requisite film nerd 411 that always takes place in these films – and you’ll be gobsmaked as to who makes it (and who doesn’t) once the EMTs arrive and the slashing stops.

It’s a great way to spend two hours (or more, because commercials and trailers, sad sigh), and I recommend this to all fans of this franchise, and to anyone looking for a film where they can say “wow, that was more fun than I expected it to be” when the credits roll. Now I’m off to ice my hand. Be well out there y’all! Wear sunscreen.

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza – “John Wick 4”!

What’s our favorite dog lover up to? Only one way to find out… Synopsis!

John Wick (Keanu Reeves) uncovers a path to defeating The High Table. But before he can earn his freedom, Wick must face off against a new enemy with powerful alliances across the globe and forces that turn old friends into foes.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“Cocaine Bear” – silly, gory, and fun

“It’s like cocaine Christmas!”

Story: In 1985, a drug smuggler decided to get rid of duffle bags filled with cocaine by pitching ’em out of his in-the-air plane (hey, gotta lighten the load somehow, right?) Said cocaine ended up falling into Chatta hoochee-Oconee National Forest…and apparently into the mouth of a bear with an addictive personality. This is her story. *dun dun*

Genre I’d put it in: Irreverent Animal Addiction… Crime Horror Thing?
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on a true story. Very, VERY loosely based on a true story.

Gotta say: Bear is exactly what it says on the tin, but a shit-ton gorier than you might expect. Which is kinda freaking awesome. Now bear with me (WHAT) – while I’m had a good time watching this, you do need to be in the right kind of goofy mood to watch this pitch-black dark comedy. Anyone who walks into the multiplex to watch this and leaves the theater saying “that was stupid”? Honey. Sweetie. Sugar lamb. The name of the film is COCAINE BEAR. If you expected high art, you are obviously new to the world of cinema. Welcome. The popcorn is delicious here.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Creed III”!

That’s right – time to check out how Adonis has been doing… Synopsis!

After dominating the boxing world, Adonis Creed (Michael B. Jordan) has been thriving in both his career and family life. When a childhood friend and former boxing prodigy, Damian (Jonathan Majors), resurfaces after serving a long sentence in prison, he is eager to prove that he deserves his shot in the ring. The face off between former friends is more than just a fight. To settle the score, Adonis must put his future on the line to battle Damian – a fighter who has nothing to lose

Ready? Let’s go!

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DC Screening Pass-palooza – “Cocaine Bear”!

I wanna see this. You wanna see this. EVERYONE wants to see this. Synopsis!

Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow … and blood.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Cocaine Bear”!

I wanna see this. You wanna see this. EVERYONE wants to see this. Synopsis!

Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow … and blood.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania” ushers in new vibe for Phase 5

“What place is this?”

Story: Scott Lang and Hope van Dyne (Ant-Man and The Wasp) have settled into domestic life after the goings-on of Endgame. Their life includes Scott’s daughter Cassie, as well as Hank Pym and Janet van Dyne (Hope’s parents, and the former Ant-Man and The Wasp). But when Cassie’s scientific research goes bloink, they’re all drawn into the Quantum Realm, where hilarity ensues, and Janet gets to show everyone what the place is all about. Phone home? Please?

Genre I’d put it in: Insec-tastic Sequels
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the characters from Ant-Man comics, and a continuation of the characters from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The official start of Phase 5 of the MCU.

Gotta say: Before we go anywhere with this, I must humbly beg you to stay away from Wikis, IMDbs, and other assorted movie 411 sites, before you watch this film. I do not want you to deny yourself the fun of experiencing the “WTF??? WHOA!” moments a few casting choices and cameos will bring. We good? Good. Let’s go.

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