“Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets” – new poster revealed!

Clicky for the full-res image!

I keep hearing good things about this movie, and lord knows I love me some The Professional, Lucy, and The Fifth Element. So I’m hoping this groovy poster is just the start of the groovy. Grooviness? Whatever – synopsis!

VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS is the visually spectacular new adventure film from Luc Besson, the legendary director of The Professional, The Fifth Element and Lucy, based on the ground-breaking comic book series which inspired a generation of artists, writers and filmmakers.

In the 28th century, Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are a team of special operatives charged with maintaining order throughout the human territories. Under assignment from the Minister of Defense, the two embark on a mission to the astonishing city of Alpha-an ever-expanding metropolis where species from all over the universe have converged over centuries to share knowledge, intelligence and cultures with each other.  There is a mystery at the center of Alpha, a dark force which threatens the peaceful existence of the City of a Thousand Planets, and Valerian and Laureline must race to identify the marauding menace and safeguard not just Alpha, but the future of the universe.

Valerian touches down this July.

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“Life” – be prepared to have it scared out of you with this suspenseful space story

“This isn’t your buddy.

Nutshell: Alien meets Gravity in a well thought out, well acted genre film that hits all the right buttons. While I hated the all-but-boilerplate-in-this-genre ending, there’s no denying it’s not necessarily a bad way to send off a creepy-good, terrifying thrill ride.  Grade: A-

Story: Hey – the soil samples from Mars have finally come to the space station!  I’m sure this one-celled organism will be the cure for everything, and everybody’s BFF.  Because E.T. was awesome y’all!  Hey, why is it holding my hand…so…tightly? OW DAMMIT DAMMIT GET IT OFF!

Genre I’d put it in: Alien Knockoffs That Nail It

Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: While it harks back to many sci-fi horror tales, it’s wholly original. Continue reading

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: “The Boss Baby”!

Hey everyone, and happy National Puppy Day!  I’ve got passes for the Baltimore screening of The Boss Baby, and figured why not share it on such a joyous day?  Synopsis!

DreamWorks Animation and the director of Madagascar invite you to meet a most unusual baby.  He wears a suit, speaks with the voice and wit of Alec Baldwin, and stars in the animated comedy, DreamWorks’ The Boss Baby.  The Boss Baby is a hilariously universal story about how a new baby’s arrival impacts a family, told from the point of view of a delightfully unreliable narrator, a wildly imaginative 7 year old named Tim.  With a sly, heart-filled message about the importance of family, DreamWorks’ The Boss Baby is an authentic and broadly appealing original comedy for all ages.

Advance comments I’ve heard say that this is actually a really sweet, funny movie.  So are you ready?  Let’s go!

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“Beauty and the Beast” – a beastly good live-action adaptation

“A life sentence for a rose?”

Nutshell: Like Jungle Book before it, Beauty and the Beast is a live adaptation that is quite possibly even better than the original. Grade: A

Story: A girl that feels like an outsider in her “Provincial town” decides to offer up herself as a substitute when her father is imprisoned by a Prince…a quite beastly prince indeed. At least, at first. A Stockholm Syndrome as old as time? Well, I like to think of it as the sweetest meet-not-so-cute story you’ll ever see. Try the grey stuff, it’s delicious!

Genre I’d put it in: Live Action Fairytales Made From Animated Fairytales Made From Actual Fairytales

Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: A live-action adaptation of Disney’s 1991 animated classic, which is an adaptation of the classic fairytale by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont. Continue reading

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza: “Life”!

Ready for some alien stuff?  Because I got your alien stuff RIGHT HERE.  I’ve got passes for the Columbia screening of Life, the “what the heck is out there” movie that’s coming soon. Synopsis!

Life is a terrifying sci-fi thriller about a team of scientists aboard the International Space Station whose mission of discovery turns to one of primal fear when they find a rapidly evolving life form that caused extinction on Mars, and now threatens the crew and all life on Earth.

The trailers look spooky and fun, nice trick that.  With me?  C’mon! Continue reading

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: CHiPs”!

I loved CHiPs when I was a kid.  Ponch and Jon were the coolest, and even now it’s fun anytime I see either one on TV. Since 22 Jump Street did so well with its comedic reboot, I’m hoping for the same for CHiPs.  Synopsis!

Jon Baker (Dax Shepard) and Frank “Ponch” Poncherello (Michael Peña) have just joined the California Highway Patrol (CHP) in Los Angeles but for very different reasons.  Baker is a beaten up pro motorbiker trying to put his life and marriage back together.  Poncherello is a cocky undercover Federal agent investigating a multi-million dollar heist that may be an inside job—inside the CHP. The inexperienced rookie and hardened pro are teamed together, but clash more than click, so kickstarting a partnership is easier said than done.  But with Baker’s bike skills combined with Ponch’s street savvy it might just work…if they don’t drive each other crazy along the way.

Shepard and Peña are a hoot, so watching them together?  Two treats in one?  Only one way to find out…let’s go see!

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TrailerWatch: “Despicable Me 3” – Gru goes back to the dark side?

Probably for the cookies.  I hear they’re pretty good.  Synopsis!

The team who brought you Despicable Me and the biggest animated hits of 2013 and 2015, Despicable Me 2 and Minions, returns to continue the adventures of Gru, Lucy, their adorable daughters—Margo, Edith and Agnes—and the Minions.

Not too much 411 in there, but in the trailer we see a new nemesis – Benjamin Balthazar Bratt – and Gru’s twin brother Dru.  Look for the usual brotherly competition there, I’m guessing. Plus, MINIONS!  The Minions are just as cute as ever, and while Minions was fun to look at, it just wasn’t the same without Gru.

Despicable Me 3 hits theaters June 30th, 2017.  Ba-na-na!

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