Atomic Fangirl

Originally published at Green Man Review!

Dark chocolate is awesome. We all know this. It’s decadent. It’s bittersweet. It’s good for your heart. It may even prevent some forms of cancer! But when chocolate touts itself as dark but isn’t? It’s not just a sad trombone for me. It’s a sad trombone I want to smash onto someone’s head. What can I say? I Hulk out when I’m lied to. It’s a thing. So these truffles and I probably shouldn’t attend any concerts together. All I’m saying.

It was tough to figure out the exact cocoa percentage in these truffles; Lindt/Lindor has 60% and 70% Extra Dark Chocolate truffles, which typically are the vast majority of info that will pop up. Even Lindt won’t say.   But, finally, Carmelina spilled the tea. So, in pure terms, it’s dark chocolate In Name Only. True dark chocolate has percentages between 50-90%, so these truffles could be considered milk chocolate with aspirations. And that definitely comes through in the appearance, and mouthfeel, of these candies. 

The truffle filling is the exact same color as the shell, so it’s tough to figure out what starts when, unless you pop the pack into the fridge to let the shell harden up. And even then, the high level of cocoa butter keeps things soft and smooth, rather than that satisfying snap true dark chocolate has. Biting into one of these truffles has your teeth sinking into the chocolate as a knife would through butter; an easy slide that lets you know this is gonna be a smooth experience, but isn’t the satisfying bite I was hoping for.

Milk chocolate lovers will absolutely adore the way the butters and milk solids in this chocolate melt in their mouths. Me? I thought it was a lovely change of pace from my dark chocolate intrigues, but as a gal who has to watch her saturated fat intake? I’d much rather spend my limited SatFat calories on something good and good for me, rather than something that’ll “do for now”. Yep, it’s like that y’all. 

These truffles are lovely with a cup of coffee or tea, or whatever warm beverage you have on offer. Otherwise? They’re too rich for cooler temps, leaving a cocoa-buttery fat skim on your tongue (that that warm bevvie will melt right off.) As with any other fatty/rich food? Champagne or other sparkling wine can also pair nicely. Maybe even a lovely aged brandy; whisky might overpower things, and balance in your snacking experience is key.

So, my dark chocolate loving compatriots? If you’re craving some darkness in your life, I’d choose Lindt’s 60 or 70 percent truffles rather than these. While they’re smooth and rich, and melt delightfully on the tongue? They’re just not the same as the real thing. 

P.S.: The batch I received through Amazon had a bit of “fat bloom” on them. Nothing to worry about, they’re still A-OK in terms of being safe to consume. But in case anyone else was wondering what’s up with a strange gritty or oily white coating on their chocolate? It’s bloom. And as I’ve never has this happen with Lindt chocolates before, I’m betting the strange “summer before spring” weather fluctuations we had earlier this month was the cause of it. Can’t be fun for chocolates to sit in a delivery truck when weather ebbs and flows…