Story: The Cenobites, creatures from a hell dimension that thrive on the line between pleasure and pain, decide to see how far they can push this franchise until moviegoers scream for mercy.  Just kidding (not really.)  The mythology of the Cenobites and the Lament Configuration (aka: the cool box puzzle thingy) has become an online role playing game called Hellworld that is highly addictive.  Are there any other kind?  After one kid offs himself as a result of getting too carried away with the game, a group of friends are driven apart from feelings of guilt and Gen Y ennui.  But they come together for an invitation-only Hellworld party thrown at some creepy mansion in the middle of nowhere.  I’m sure nothing will go wrong with that decision.

Scares: A few, though fans of the original Hellraiser movie and the first few sequels will wonder why it’s so tame.

Splat factor:  See above.  The level of FX is somewhere between the original Hellraiser ripping & tearing, and a slasher film’s chopping.  There’s a medium level of the red stuff, and a few squicky moments that will give serious gorehounds a taste for more.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not really.  The final scene ends the film with a slam-bang, but it’s nothing that rewrites the basic story, thank goodness.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  This is the eighth entry in the Hellraiser series.  Yes you read that correctly: eighth.  And it’s the last movie with Pinhead.  Guess even an easygoing guy like Doug Bradley has a breaking point.

Trick or Treat?: It’s chocolate-covered licorice.  You’re expecting one thing, but get something else, and just when you think you don’t like it, it ends up growing on you.  The movie starts off with the inevitable horror movie prologue, then hops to two years later.  Unfortunately, there’s very little exposition, so viewers who aren’t well versed in the entire series may think they’ve missed something from an earlier film that was carried over to this one (I had to double-check Wikipedia for a basic plot outline for that very reason.)  Things start off slow, then take a turn into boilerplate slasher, which is a real disappointment for anyone hoping for Cenobite action.  Patience will be rewarded though.  A twist near the end clears things up and makes the movie worth seeing all the way through, though you can watch the rest of the film while checking e-mail and miss nothing.

Most of the reason to watch is exactly the reason you’d expect: the fabulousness that is character actor Lance Henriksen.  It sure ain’t for the twenty-something slaughter-fodder, that’s for sure, but I did enjoy watching a then little-known Henry Cavill (The Tudors and our new Superman in the upcoming Man of Steel) play a total tool. I’d love to write more about Hellworld, but honestly?  It’s fun, it’s perfect for a horror movie drinking game (Maniacs of Horror, you rock for posting that), and the reveal at the end is smarter than the rest of the film and comes as a happy surprise.  But if there will be more Hellraiser films in this franchise (a possibility that may come to naught now that the Hellraiser remake is toast), a bit of advice: Cenobites.  Plenty of ’em, and plenty of screen time for ’em.  You’re welcome, Hollywood.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins, and all three of them for the game-changer of an ending that pulled this movie out of the dreck.