Story: Rookie cop Johnny just captured a horrific serial killer known as “The Wolf”.  What’s he gonna do next?  Nope, not Disneyland; he’s gonna make sure that psycho gets locked up in Arkham Asylum.  Maybe because his estranged wife works there.  Maybe because it’s a good idea to have a dude with a gun in the asylum when the power goes out and the inmates get out.  And hey, why isn’t the doc in charge worried?

Scares: There’s more dark humor than horror here, but this film does manage to whip up a bit of eerie when the crazies come out.

Splat Factor:  Only so-so. But the cannibal lady cooking tips are awesome. Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Closing Scene “Shocker”?:  Not a final-scene gotcha, but there is a so-so reveal near the end.  TADA! But it’s a bit bombastic and interrupts the dark humor and creepy mood the film had been working hard to develop. Note to movie serial slashers: no need to pontificate. That’s not scary, that’s too much like school.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  It feels like Session 9 and the remake of 13 Ghosts had an underachieving baby, but this is an original.

Trick or Treat?:  Hmm. Like a Chunky bar, there’s some good (chocolate!) and some bad (raisins?  RAISINS?)  Raw Meat has a great idea for a serial killer in The Big Bad Wolf. Pity that’s the only originality in the whole film.  But hey, there’s Harmony! And Gimli (who pops in just long enough to get his mug on the poster and top billing)!  Aaaand a whole lot of other actors who need to pad their resume.  It’s as if the pitch meeting went like this: “Hey, the 13 Ghosts remake where folks get trapped with a bunch of killers? So cool! But we don’t have the money to go with all those special effects. Or hire any top quality talent. So let’s get a few lower rung stars and then pad the film with nobodies. Whip up a few gallons of faux blood, et voila! Oh, and try to work Wolverine’s claws in there, ‘kay?” And that, my friends, is the kind of movie you get when a director casts himself in the lead, and his wife as the heroine of the film.

To be fair, Raw Meat does understand that it’s a low-budget film, and so it pauses often enough to drop some pretty decent jokes at the genre’s expense.  At least they’re funny enough to stand out from the so-so beginning and mediocre middle. Any film that pauses to toss in a scene where a crazy cannibal lady shows Our Heroine how to prep and cook a human gets an A for effort.

The last third of the film, when the crazies are out & folks start dying, is fun and even manages a few scares.  Director/screenwriter/lead actor  Andrew Cymek did manage to put some time into creating the crazies in the asylum, and the actors that play ’em are obviously enjoying themselves.  Plus, even with Wolverine claws, the iron-clad costume The Wolf wears is totally badass.  It’s a grade-Z television movie, no lie. But it’s a fun ride that has just enough dark humor & slasher tropes to be a great late night horror goof with a bunch of your dearest bad movie lovin’ ghoulies.

Score: out of 5 pumpkins.