The way this film was hyped prior to release, I was amped. But then it just vanished. Never a good sign. What did I think once I tracked it down? Let’s get the party started….

The Story: in this case, the stories. 26 short films, one for each letter of the alphabet. Get it?

The Good: “A”, “B”, “C”, “D”…. More? “G (a minimalist wonder), “H” (a funny, fun bit that could have been stupid, but pulls itself out), “Q” (a “reality” segment that works), and “S” (a great piece that I won’t spoil.) When there’s gore, there’s no holding back, as with the funny but very bloody “N”.

The Bad: “F is for Fart” – seriously? If it was scary, or funny, I’d accept it. But instead it’s an ode to a kink that comes off bizarre (and don’t even get me started on Z, with it’s giant dildo karate. Yes, you read that right.) J falls into the “too weird for it’s own good” pile too, as does “O”, “R”, “Y” and “W” (a “reality” segment that doesn’t work.) I wanted to like the claymation in “T”, but nup. Luckily, the stupid, idiotic and just plain dull only last for a few minutes.

The Everything Else: titles are shown at the end of each short, probably so you won’t figure out any twists. (See: “F is for Fart”. Or better still, don’t.) Some stories are incomprehensible (somebody please explain “I” to me), some aren’t scary (See: the animated bathroom farce “K”), some are kinky in a bad way (“L”, anyone? Anyone?) The ABCs of Death probably got a lot of horror fans excited, but not all of the stories are horror. It’s like watching 1000 Ways To Die; a lot of crazy, and a few bits of brilliance. Is there more good than bad here? Yes, but just barely. And the good can’t wipe the taste of stupid out of my mind after a few real clunkers. A great premise, wasted on wannabe auteurs. Blergh.

Here’s the breakdown:
* Would I watch it again?: only if it was on DVD, so I could blow through the stupid bits. Or maybe just re-watch the first few stories.
*Should you see it?: feel adventurous? Have the ability to stomach tons of stupid heavily peppered with gratuitous nudity and/or un-fun kink? Then by all means.

This film was brought to you by the letters P and U, and the number….
2 (out of 5)