Image: DiamondSparks/ponychan

Let’s get this out of the way right now – The Interview was never going to be  a classic of modern cinema. It’s more likely a goofy riff filled with stupid pandering humor that leaves people feeling empty at the end. Hell, I’ve seen This Is The End.

But Sony Pictures knuckling under to terrorist threats – and the hacking that released a ton of their Super Secret Squirrel movies and backstage stuff – really ticks me off. Yes, the idea behind the shelving of The Interview‘s Christmas day opening sounds like a good idea, if only to be on the safe side after threats of 9/11 style attacks on theaters showing the film. But for a while it seemed as if Sony would knuckle under completely, shelving it for good.

Really? The Western world is going to start doing whatever terrorists want, just in case something bad may happen? What is this; are we living one step away from Black Mirror? For crying out loud. What’s next, threatening action if anyone ever watches Paul Blart: Mall Cop? (Wait, that’s no loss.) Still, how many more threats will come if this one succeeds?

There’s a bit of hope though. Newest wrinkle? Seems Sony will be releasing The Interview on Crackle for free. So hopefully they won’t pull it again. Not because I’m dying to see this film  but because if we as a nation are gonna be all “No negotiating with terrorists”? We need to support those that get singled out by narcissistic nutjobs.

Granted, perhaps I’d be ticked off at a film that has me dying horribly at the end. (Though honestly, having Franco & Rogen botch the assassination feels like it’d have been funnier….) But if I were in a position of crazy-ass power, I’d just let the haters hate, and then roll around in a pile of money as my minions peeled me grapes.

So tonight? I’ma watch Team America: World Police. Paramount pussed and decided not to support screenings of Team America as a way for some theaters to say F-you to North Korea (and to a lesser extent, Sony)? Fine. It’s on Netflix.

“America, Fuck Yeah!”