“Q: What was that noise?
A: Here’s a tip: it wasn’t the wind.”

Mira Grant. Doing her makeup in a knife’s reflection. As we do. What?

I love Mira Grant.  She’s my spirit animal. (Okay fine.  So is Matt Bellassi, Lindsay Ellis, and of course Stephen King. But roll with me here.)  If you haven’t read Grant’s fantastic Parasitology series, get to it.  It’s really an amazing look at bio-horror.  And don’t get me started on her popular Newsflesh Series.

But since this is the month of October, and we’re all getting into spoooooooky movies?  I’m going to share a link to her amazing How To Survive A Horror Movie.  This should be made into a poster.  Because it’s truth, and it’s funny, and did I mention it’s truth?

Favorite bits?  Well, aside from that quote up above:

• Q: Is that you, Johnny?
  A: No. It’s not Johnny. It’s never Johnny. Do not date or marry men named Johnny. Do not name your sons Johnny. If your name is Johnny, legal name change forms are cheap…
• Q: How can the short of stature/lacking of upper body strength survive your average night of the living damned?
  A: Run like hell.
• Q: Is the creepy guy who just moved in across the street a vampire?
  A: Outside of a horror movie, probably not. But since we’re discussing ways to survive a horror movie…yes. Odds are good that he is.

Read the entire thing Right Here at her website. Seriously.  I’ll be back tomorrow. And remember…#themoreyouknow