With fewer and fewer films being screened for press in the Baltimore area, I’ll be doing more opening day/weekend reviews. Apologies for folks who’ve been asking for them earlier – and if there’s anything you’d like me to look, at old or new? Hit me up!

“I know you’re not afraid of a little dark…”

Story: Nope. I wanna have you walk in as clueless about this plot as possible. So you can really get into the crazy. Okay fine, a taste; young FBI agent Lee Harker is tasked with hunting down a serial killer But that’s just the tip of this web of gonzo characters, subplots, and surprises.

Genre I’d put it in: Twin Peaks-Adjacent Horror
Release Date: 2024
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, though you will definitely hark back to crime thrillers and other creepy subgenre faves now and again. See: my genre definition.

Gotta say: Longlegs is a film that feels made from a blend of Twin Peaks, The Silence of the Lambs, and True Detective. Put all three in a processor so they get chopped up real good, smoosh them together. Let Stephen King write the screenplay, and let Lars von Trier direct. Yep, Legs is one helluva messy, fascinating ride. And it’s worth of all the pre-release buzz it’s been getting.

First off, try to go in as story-blind as possible. The fun of this surreal trip is not knowing what’s really going on, or what’s going to happen next. Writer/director Oz Perkins does an excellent job of both doling out information slowly, and building a sense of dread. Legs feels tense, deranged, and both of this world and outside of it. That figures, as Perkins has an excellent way with this vibe, as his films The Blackcoat’s Daughter and I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House have shown.

Legs seems to cement itself into one time period – there’s a photo of President Clinton in an FBI office – yet the colors, costuming, and set design feels mid-20th century. The film’s aesthetic is 70s brown and orange, with an overall darkness that will definitely have streaming viewers reaching for their brightest AV mode. But all of these works well when you’re sitting in the multiplex; here, you strain to see what’s going on. Or better yet, what’s in the background of a shot. Perkins uses a lot of shots that leave the character(s) outside of the center of the scene. So, naturally, my brain wanted to know why the center of the shot wasn’t filled with a person. What’s so important in this empty space? SHOW ME. Okay, maybe don’t? I don’t wanna see, but maybe I do. So yeah, Perkins. You got me. Got me good.

As always, Nick Cage gives an amazing performance as…oh wait. Yeah. Don’t wanna spoil anything. But if you’ve seen trailers, you know Our Crazy King absolutely eats in this role. He tears it up, leaving no crumb on any plate, no stone unturned, and no crazy voice untried. Everyone else in this film is simply moving the plot forward, until our next glimpse of Cage. It’s not that they’re not doing their job, it’s that Cage is so completely bonkers here, anyone else can only be seen as a boring normie.

As Harker, Maika Monroe gives a performance that’s obviously based on someone who’s seen some stuff, but can’t/won’t remember. Monroe’s flat affect feels odd at first, but as the story progresses, hints of who she could become glimmer like beautiful promises. Blair Underwood and his amazing deep honey voice is delightful as Harker’s boss, Agnet Carter. His performance shines here, even though the role feels small – as everything does – beside Cage. Special shout-out to my favorite 21st Century Scream Princess, Kiernan Shipka, as the enigmatic Carrie Anne. Shipka throws aside her more riot-grrl roles and thoroughly inhabits this character’s strange, compelling, softly threatening personality.

Let’s face it. If you’ve gotten this far in my review? You’re probably dying to see this. I don’t blame you. The buzz on this film was absolutely crazypants, and has been that way for months, thanks to the strange, cryptic style the marketing had. And let me be honest here. The ending doesn’t really give you everything tied up nicely. There will be plenty to discuss with your friends after you leave the theater…but with Legs, I wouldn’t expect anything less. This isn’t a film with a beginning, middle, and end. It’s a bizarre trip that grabs your hand and drags you along for a little piece of crazy, then lets go abruptly, leaving you stunned, shaken, and most of all? Entertained.

#Protip: The music of T. Rex plays an integral part in this film. I love their music, so if you’ve only ever heard covers, like Power Station’s cover of Get It On (Bang a Gong)? May I humbly recommend their song Metal Guru? Though be warned, it’s one hell of an earworm. Plus, Longlegs has a poster of this album cover in a prominent place.