“Please share with us this evening. At least for a little while.”

Story: Snotty young writer Kenneth Magee makes a bet with his publisher that he can write a Gothic novel worthy of the classics in that genre…in 24 hours. But when Ken gets to the manor his publisher suggests he uses to get away? Things start to turn into the very type of thing he’d been wanting to write about. What’s going on?

Scares: A few jump scares. Hello kitty!
Splat Factor:  As gruesome effigy, and some paper mâché-looking burns.

Subgenre: Old Dark House Of Semi-Humorous Horrors
Year Released: 1983
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the 1913 book Seven Keys to Baldpate, by Earl Derr Biggers.

Trick or Treat?: Vincent Price. Christopher Lee. Peter Cushing. John Carradine. UK horror icon Sheila Keith, and her bombastic side-eye. These legends together onscreen? To horror fans, this is as comforting as a warm hug on a cold night. Which, by the way, is the perfect time to check out this film.

Shadows is a strange one; a Gothic horror comedy (comedy doing very little work in the description of this film) that came out in the middle of the 80s slasher boom. The only thing stopping me from believing this was filmed in the 60s is the sharpness of the film quality. And Desi Arnaz Jr’s feathered haircut. It feels anachronistic, but with these legends on screen, it works. Well it works as a love letter to those cheesy 60s and 70s Hammer and Amicus horror films, anyway.

As Ken, Arnaz holds his own with the greats. He’s the token handsome lead that stands in for the audience and reacts to the spooky shenanigans much like we would. Naturally, our icons are amazing, lifting the rather tepid screenplay to a higher level than it deserves. Simply seeing these performers interact with each other is catnip for any classic horror fan, and I ate this stuff up with a spoon. Yeah, even the bits that dragged. What would a mid-century-modern Gothic film be without a few scenes that plod along like they’re padding the run time?

There are a few twists and turns, some successful, others downright stupid. (Looking at you, final scene.) But if a few disappointing moments are what it costs to see these legends all together? Fine. I’ll suck it up. Because until that nonsensical finale, Shadows is a cozy look at many of the horror legends of the 20th century. And that’s something worth seeing. If only to hear Vincent Price call Christopher Lee a bitch.

Score: 4 out of 5 pumpkins. The film itself should be two and a half, but this cast and their incredible talents deserve much more.