Story: Jaded ghost hunter guys hire themselves a psychic to check out a house everyone says is haunted.  Wanna guess what happens next?

Scares: One big one, after you realize how much time you spent on this piece of dreck.

Splat factor: Lovely blood and goo-filled walls, a bit of bloodshed here and there but otherwise nothing they couldn’t show on basic cable.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nothing that you won’t see coming from miles away.  If you’ve bothered to watch ’til the end.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?:  Though it’s a ripoff of practically every haunted house movie that has ever been made, it’s an original.  Ish.

Trick or Treat?: Wormy apple.  Apparently Parker Lewis can lose; he got himself drawn into this haunted house clunker.  At least he had the good sense to keep to a part that gave him limited screen time (while still scoring top billing; now that’s a great agent!)  Charisma Carpenter plays a psychic that isn’t given much to do but sit around and look queasy.  Then again it might have just been how she felt being on the set of a dud after so many years of Buffy and Angel.  But it’s good to see them, however underused they are in this film.  As for the story, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.  Take a little bit of Burnt Offerings, a touch of The Haunting and Hell House, mix with The Shining and serve tepid.  The FX are pretty neat, but nothing can take away from the tired cliches that drag this movie into the dirt.  SyFy makes a ton of Z-grade horror, and quite a few of ’em are campy fun.  Not this one.

Score:    out of 5 pumpkins, and that’s only for Nemec and Carpenter.  The movie itself deserves zilch.