“Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.”

I can’t believe I haven’t pulled this into a 31 in 31 review yet! Well’p, here goes….

Story: Once upon a time, there was a pregnant woman who got bit by a vampire.  Before she died, she gave birth to a little boy.  That little boy had all the strengths of a vampire, but none of the weaknesses.  This “daywalker” was called Blade.  And his mission?  To take out as many vamps as possible.  Payback’s a bitch.

Scares: This is an action flick with a horror shine on it. So no, not a scare to be had. Unless this is your first time watching. And you’re 10.

Splat factor: When a vampire goes kaput, it fizzles into dust. But anytime Blade gets to beatin’, it’s a bloody good time. And the “death” of a vampire leader, along with the climax of the movie? Melty, gruesome goodness.

Closing scene “shocker”?: There’s a final scene that shows a post-climax tidbit, but no OMG moment. Which is always nice.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: It’s based on a comic book series, but this is the first movie (in what became a trilogy).

Trick or Treat?: Like a sour candy that’s sweet inside, Blade is more like a Clint Eastwood western than a horror film.  Bad Guys being hunted down by a man of few words. Bad Guys with fangs and a blood fetish. And wait!  A vampire movie with martial arts! That doesn’t have subtitles! In fact, there’s a whole Bruce Lee tribute scene at the climax of the movie, complete with funky background music that somehow just barely misses being really cheesy.  Beautifully atmospheric, even in the obvious day for night scenes, and especially the opening scene, a kickass underground rave in a slaughterhouse that sucks you into the film immediately.

A few things really stand out, like Vampires that understand the uses of zinc oxide.  Kind of a cliché now, but then it was a sweet twist.  And the ginormous Pearl, the thousand pound vampire librarian, is disgusting and a different vamp than the usual gorgeous/sparkly/mesmerizing bloodsucker we’ve been used to lately.

 Doesn’t matter what’s going on with Wesley Snipes now, this is a heckuva fun film.  At just over two hours, there’s a lot of excess baggage that could have been trimmed. For example, the Blade’s Mom storyline, which could have been simply brought up at the beginning, and then dropped. Or the many, many sweeping visuals and overlong Exposition Fairy scenes that are lovely to look at, but slow down the story.  But it’s nice to see Traci Lords any time she’s in a mass market film. She always looks like she’s having a ball.

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins. Taking off a full pumpkin for the overlong scenes.