Mel Gibson = Jewish hero? Are we being punked?

Heard the latest?  Mel Gibson is planning on making a film about Judah Maccabee for Warner Brothers.  Is he crazy?  Uh, yeah; he pretty much confirmed that awhile back.

Luckily, the Jewish Powers That Be aren’t stupid, and they’ve jumped on this.

The cherry on top of this shit sundae?  Joe Eszterhaus is jumping in to help.  Am I the only one thinking that this will do for Hanukkah what Showgirls did for Elizabeth Berkley?

The only way this dumb-joke-made-real could be even halfway decent is if Gibson casts someone other than himself as the lead, lets someone else direct and keeps a low profile as executive producer.  But hey, Mel ain’t exactly known for keeping out of the spotlight.

Sigh.

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From Atomic Popcorn: Monday Rewind — September 12, 2011

Too busy last week recovering from Labor Day & commemorating September 11th to keep up with the latest in entertainment news? Here’s a look at some of my favorite stuff from the news and my twitter feed so you can catch up!

* Box Office Top 5: Contagion infected the top spot (yeah, I had to go there), but The Help is close behind at number two. Warrior enters the list at number three, with The Debt and Columbiana rounding out the top 5. (Thanks Box Office Mojo!)

* The 20 Worst Lines in Movie History! Yay!!! (?)

* All the zombies, plagues and Acts of Whomever scare the body organs outta you? Wanna know how to survive the end of the world? The Baltimore Sun’s Jordan Bartel breaks it down for you. And we thank you, Jordan!

* From HufPo: Netflix shares drop after Starz decides it may not re-up their contract with the stay-at-home streaming co. And I gotta say that I feel really good about that. You double my fees and cut my service, Netflix? I blow my nose at you!

* A first-look at American Reunion! What a perfect teaser; I can’t wait for this to hit theaters next year!

* Trailers? You betcha!

The Amazing Spiderman:

And…The Avengers trailer, just in case you need it again for comparison:

Finally, a trailer for a movie that opens this year! Well, this December. Behold Justin Timberlake & Amanda Seyfried in…In Time!

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From Atomic Popcorn: Movie Review — Contagion

Zombies are the big thing nowadays.  But what if the world went out with a whimper instead of a bang?  What if it went out with a cough?  It may not have the cool kids cachet of the stumbling dead, but Contagion‘s well thought out scientific underpinnings make it a compelling thriller for the brainy set, those who are aching for a different kind of action movie, or anyone who has a love affair with medical procedural shows.

As the film starts, you hear a cough.  Then another, and another.  Beth Emhoff, a businesswoman who is returning home to the States from a trip to Hong Kong, isn’t looking so good.  That’s pretty damn serious, considering she’s played by Gwyneth Paltrow, a woman that would look good after a 3-day cheesecake and whiskey bender.  Anyone who has seen the trailer for this film knows that Beth isn’t recovering from this business trip bug, and quickly other people come down with the illness.  Before long, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) are racing against time to stop the pandemic before it’s too late.

The beginning of Contagion is much like the start of Stephen King’s novel The Stand in how it shows just how easy it is to pass along a virus.  We see Beth pick up a drink, then put it down.  The busboy picks up the empty glass, he grabs onto a bus rail on his way home…and suddenly millions of people are dead or dying.  But this film plays down the horror aspect, going instead for a fast-paced thriller focused on how to find a cure while the world is falling apart.  Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Syriana) uses his skill working with an ensemble cast to show many different points of view; from CDC doctors and WHO officials to janitors and families in far-out villages, there is hardly a social demographic that is missed.  Writer Scott Z. Burns (The Bourne Ultimatum) amps up the audience’s adrenaline by crafting scenes that show how government, big business and the blogosphere all strive to come out of this smelling like a rose, regardless of the toll it takes on humanity.  Meanwhile, humanity ain’t exactly holding hands singing Kumbaya, and scenes with crowds of frightened people pushed to their limits have a frightening ring of truth.

Yes, there are themes here, but they don’t beat you about the head to get you to submit, they slide into your conscious bit by bit as the action progresses.  They’re also grounded in common sense; think for yourself, take care of yourself and those you care about, take care of the world.  It’s easy to see why H2O Africa Foundation co-founder Matt Damon signed onto this project; it’s a wake-up call cunningly disguised as an action-packed thriller.  It’s also easy to see how this film attracted it’s all-star cast, as Soderbergh’s deft touch with subject matter that shoots off in many directions at once, and Burns’ ability to craft a thriller that takes time to let you care about the folks in the thick of it, was probably catnip to these stars.  Everyone rises to the occasion, giving performances that are believable in their humanity.  Bonus points for getting Dr. Sanjay Gupta to play himself in a cameo piece.

There are problems with any movie that tries to cover such a broad scope, and Congation isn’t immune.  Although Paltrow’s character isn’t on screen — alive, anyway — for long, the connection audiences build with her after her Psycho-esque early end gets shattered by a revelation that is wholly unnecessary.  And Lawrence Fishburne’s Dr. Ellis Cheever puts himself on the line for someone, and we find out after this storyline is almost entirely played out that someone is Cheever’s wife.  But for these flaws there are many more positives.  Jude Law’s blogger Alan Krumwiede, who is trying to do the right thing but can’t seem to help being a dick about it.  Matt Damon as Beth’s husband, who will stop at nothing to keep his daughter safe.  Marion Cotillard as WHO official Dr. Leonora Orantes, a woman that gets a first-hand look at how things are going outside of the big cities.  Not everyone lives, but not everyone dies either, and that gives viewers the hope they need to keep rooting for the world to survive.

With cold and flu season hitting us right about now, I’m sure there will be quite a few people who will be a bit more careful this season after seeing this film.  Meanwhile, I picked up a bug at the screening, and can’t seem to shake this sore throat.  I’m trying not to freak out about it, but after seeing what can happen if a bug gets nasty?  I think I’ll be staying in to rest this weekend.

(Posted on Atomic Popcorn 9/9/2011: Original Post)

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From Atomic Popcorn: In Queue Review — The Inheritance

Sometimes hitting the multiplex just isn’t in the cards. That’s when cable, the web and streaming step in to provide an instant movie fix. But how to separate the wheat from the chaff? I’m happy to help; every week I’ll pick a flick and see if it’s worth your time. This week it’s “The Inheritance”.

The Story: Oh look, it’s a family reunion.  The young twenty/thirty-somethings of the families all meet up at a huge house in the middle of nowhere.  What to do?  The cousins drink a little drink, smoke a little smoke, and meet their whacked-out “elders” who make booze & weed look like little kid stuff.  All thanks to Pazuzu Zuul Fred Chakabazz, a demon that is obviously pissed off because of that hideously stupid name.  So over the centuries the elders of these families have gotten together to decide who gets an “inheritance”.  Wanna know what the rest of the crew gets?  Well, it’s not a set of steak knives.

The Good: At the beginning of The Inheritance, I hoped this would be an interesting, rip-roaring ride with an African-American history backdrop, with an almost all African-American cast; a rarity in this genre.  The idea of how slaves came to their new world, and what they had to do to survive would make for a very interesting horror movie.  Get your scare on, learn a little something, and get to see the horror genre go in a direction that hasn’t been done to death.  Nice….

The Bad: But The Inheritance fails on all levels.  This film takes an interesting premise and uses it to crank out a horror movie that’s only scary when you think about the time you’ve wasted watching it.  There’s no real discussion as to how the families have fared since their humble beginnings, only that they “have money” now.  Their “chosen one” is so obvious from scene one that it kills any sense of suspense.  And the elders don’t look scary once it all goes down, they look silly.  By the way, how does the family survive when each generation needs to go through a weeding-out process that kills every member of that generation but one?  More importantly, how do I get back to the home menu on my Roku?

The Everything Else: The special effects are cheap and done with cutaway shots and haphazard editing.  And when the characters get bumped off one at a time it’s no great shame, since all we know about them is that they’re kinda related-ish.  The moral of the story is a tough one to decipher, since the story is so weakly drawn that it’s not worth following.  Maybe “be scared of wealthy old people”?

Here’s the breakdown:
Would I watch it again?: Not for love or money.  Well, maybe for money; that way I could pay for the therapy I’d need to get over re-watching this dreck.
Should you see it?: No.  Nup.  Nyet.  Try to track down The Legacy, the movie The Inheritance so obviously tried to rip off.  Or Tales from the Hood, a fun anthology of urban horror.  Or…just about anything else in your queue but this.
Netflix average rating: 2 ½ Stars
My rating: 1 Star (and that’s pushing it.)

(Originally posted to Atomic Popcorn 9/7/2011.  LINK TO THE ORIGINAL PIECE: Clicky!)

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Hellooooo, Cleveland!

Or Baltimore, whatevs.

Since I write for several different sites, and since a few of  ’em are either going through some changes (or have changed a hiccup ago), I figured a spot on the interwebs all my own would be A Very Good Thing.

Plus, here I can go all psycho on a bitch without anyone saying anything.  Y’know, because who reads this?  Hello?  Bueller?

Alrighty.  So there’s my first blog post.  Or blop, as I like to call it.  Because it sounds stupid, and that appeals to me.

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