Story:  Ahh, the Eastern Shore of Mur-land.  Home to crabbing, Natty Boh, boatin’ on the water hon, and isopods that have gotten a serious dose of steroids from the local chicken farm runoff (eew, poop.)  A newbie reporter is covering a small bay town’s 4th of July festivities, when all isopod breaks loose.  Tip: don’t drink the water.  Or swim in it.  Or wash your hands.  Y’know, just stick with the Boh.

Scares:  Isopod infestation really, truly, creeps me out, because giant isopods are a real thing.  Levinson himself has sad “Eighty five percent of the story is based on facts”, thanks to agricultural runoff and those steroids that chickens get pumped up with (and end up pooping out a good deal of.)  *shudders*  Outside of that, most of the blood and gore comes at you straight-on, so it’s chilling but not in a jump-in-your-seat kinda way.

Splat factor: Trigger warning — puke-a-palooza really gets going once everyone’s nice and infected.  Infested?  Bugged up.  And of course there are a few pukers once bodies — found torn up, as if something ate their way out — start cropping up.  The makeup and gore FX are top-notch though.  Great blisters, and ooky-cool isopod casualties.

Closing scene “shocker”?:  Nup.  This is eco-horror though, so you’ll think about how creepy this could be if we don’t Do Something IRL.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: It’s an original.

Trick or Treat?: yet another “found footage/shakycam fakeumentary.  Barry “I love me some Maryland” Levinson brings his lens to the Shore, and instead of the beauty and regular-life-in-sharp-focus of Diner or Avalon.  In his attempt to draw attention to the very real problem of the Chesapeake Bay (hint: it really is 40% dead), he created this horror film.  Damn if the narrator looks like a young Juliette Binoche (she’s really Kether Donohue, Pitch Perfect.)  Bonus for the MD setting, but points from Griffindor for actually filming in NC.  Claridge, MD?. Don’t worry, it’s a fictional town. (The maps look a bit like the inlets of Somerset County, though they’re probably manufactured.)

Though I’m sick and tired of the found footage genre, The Bay gets past a lot of those films’ stumbling blocks by also tapping boat-cams, CCTV, and a video diary of the young reporter that survived.  You’ll get a Jaws vibe wen local politicos try to keep a lid on things before it all goes to sheisse.  The Bay is definitely suffering, and is definitely a no-swim zone. (especially in Baltimore, where swimming is verboten.)

Score: 

2.5 out of 5 pumpkins. Would have gotten more, but Levinson’s “found footage” vibe just doesn’t hit all the high notes.  Well, not enough to seem like anything more than a senior’s film thesis.  Pity, because with a few nips & tweaks, this could have been a truly awesome horror show.