31 in 31 – Icetastrophe

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Oct 6 icetastrophe“Hey, see that? Is that a shooting star?”

Story: Comet? That thing? That’s nothing. BOOM. Cue explosive ice explosions! Because sure.

Scares: Absolutely zero. TV disaster movie mixed with more than a touch of sapfest.

Splat factor: See above. Unless you count below SyFy level CGI (frozen folks shatter into red ice cubes! Obvious cartoony blood that erupts sorta near redshirts!) – oh wait. This IS a SyFy joint. This ain’t no Sharknado.

Closing scene “shocker”?: only that I wasted almost an hour and a half of my life on this. NOOOOO!

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Um, original.

Trick or Treat?: Yes, I inadvertently hit play when I checked out the synopsis. Since this movie is less than an hour and a half, I figured I’d sit through it. Let my pain be your cautionary tale.

Not technically horror, just a silly disaster movie. A silly, made for TV movie. A silly, Christmas themed, made for TV movie. Yep, this gem was originally titled Christmas Icetastrophe. Complete with Christmas Carol names like “Mr. Crooge”, Marley, and “Ratchet”. That last one could serve as a description of this film, actually.

The dead-eyed actors play things too seriously for this to be good camp. Most likely they figured out on day one that this was gonna be a suckfest. Icetastrophe is too grade Z to be anywhere close to watchable, unless you’re really jonesing for a hatewatch. Or you need just one more SyFy turd for your masochistic movie marathon. I’d come up with a drinking game, but that’d mean I’d have to watch this again. Now that’s scary.

Don’t fall for this bait and switch. Unless you’re sailing on spiked eggnog two months from now.

Score: 1 out of 5 pumpkins.
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