“Live or die. Make your choice.”

Story: Two guys wake up chained to pipes in a busted old bathroom.  (That I’d still kill for, because HUGE.) They see a third guy lying on the floor in a pool of blood, with a gun in his hand.  Then the creepiest mixtape ever tells them that they’ve got 60 minutes to get out of there, or it’s asta.  Should be a piece of cake. Especially with those two small hacksaws they’ve been given…

Scares: Genuine suspenseful shit going down here, people.

Splat factor: YES. But not as much as future installments, and not as much as you think you see.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Aww yeah baby.  And for a rare instance, it’s an A+ doozy.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Start of the seven film (soon to be eight+) Saw franchise.

Trick or Treat?: I can’t believe I haven’t thrown Saw into the ol’ 31 pile yet.  But I haven’t, so here goes.  I re-watched it this week, and couldn’t believe how much I still enjoyed it.  And by “enjoy” I mean “squirmed in my seat, holding my pillow so tightly I probably should have bought it dinner first”.  That doesn’t happen to me very often, so when it does, I applaud.

As horror meister James Wan’s (The Conjuring, Insidious) Hollywood film debut, it’s a nail-biting mix of horror, suspense, cop-show drama, and mystery.  Plus, that end twist is one even my hateful self can’t help but adore.  It’s a punch to the gut, and even now when I see it I’m torn between shock, awe, and applause.

Are a few scenes a bit wobbly, and some of the Machina a bit too Deus?  Sure.  But I’ll take a movie that delivers solid scares over a slew of perfectly plotted yawnfests.  Gory yes.  But It’s a horror hound must-see.

Score: 4.5 out of 5 pumpkins.