#31in31 2017 – “The Blob (1958)”

“Do I look like somebody’s playing a practical joke? Am I laughing, or am I scared stiff?” 

Story: So this thing from outta the sky hits the ground, you hip?  Next thing you know, some old man’s all grody with it, a Clyde and his Sophie take him to the doc for a patch-up.  Things got put on the front burner fast though, with the old man disappearing lickety-split.  Before you know it, that cat and kitten are the only ones who really dig the scene, and they’ve gotta agitate the asphalt in order to spread the word from the bird.  Want more?  What, you writin’ a book?

Scares: Zero.  This is strictly 50s drive-in deliciousness.

Splat factor: Goo on your shoe.  And everywhere else.  That’s it.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope, unless you count the final line, “…as long as the Arctic stays cold.” That was probably supposed to be the end of that, but what with global warming? BA-DUUUUUM!

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original.

Trick or Treat?: What?  You think I’d hit Blobfest this year and NOT cap off my ’31 with this gem?  Crazy man, crazy.

So this film doesn’t exactly hold up nowadays.  But damn if it’s not an absolute hoot.  But in order to enjoy it fully, you’ll need to watch it with a group of friends.  Friends that love talking back to movies, or who are up for an MST3K kinda night.  Because if you watch it by yourself, you’ll be bored stiff.

Bless Steve McQueen and the rest of the cast, but this film isn’t a slow burn, it’s a snooze.  Okay, the film climax is fun, but even that feels padded.  It’s as if they threw in everything they could to pad this film up to feature length.  And at under an hour and a half, it still drags.  But with a group – or better yet, in a theater (see below) – it’s a rip-roaring hoot of a good time.

FX wise?  50s films seem to take pride in cheap and cheesy.  In fact, cheap and cheesy is amazing in 50s horror.  Blobby looks like it came from Toys R Us; let’s say it’s 20% creepy, 80% Jell-O. But it works for this technicolor B movie. Especially when it oozes out of a projector booth.  Which brings me to…

The best way to see The Blob? In The Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania. It’s where the film’s climactic “running out of the theater” scene was filmed. Not only is the theater still standing, it’s gorgeous. And it hosts Blobfest every year in July. Bucket list that Fest, pronto.  I had an absolute blast hitting the ‘fest, and the Run Out, this year.

Oh, and if you think that end credits song is catchy?  So did a lot of other folks. Music 411 from Wikipedia: “The film’s tongue-in-cheek title song, ‘Beware of The Blob’, was written by Burt Bacharach and Mack David and became a nationwide hit in the U.S., peaking at number 33 on the Billboard chart on 9 November, 1958.”  Cool, daddy-o!

Score: 3 out of 5 pumpkins.  HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!

This entry was posted in 31 in 31, In Horror, Movie Reviews and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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