“We should move in together!” – spoken less than five minutes after a first kiss

Where I Watched: Amazon Prime

Genre: WTF Holiday “Romance”

New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: It’s definitely…a thing.

Synopsis: Holly (because Christmas story, get it? GET IT) is a perfectionist in all aspects of her life. How do we know that? Because she’s young happens to work very hard at her job, while still maintaining a BFF and going out on the regular. But she’s ignoring the cute nice guy Milo in her office. She’s obviously in need of an attitude adjustment. Cue a fall on the ice, and a meet cute with a “perfect” guy. Hey, wasn’t there a male manequin in that shop window just a second ago?

Unwrap or regift?: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? A manequin coming to life? Intriguing, tell me more. He’s crushing on a flesh and blood woman? Cool, cool. But his idea of living is absolutely different from hers? I’m in… But then each character is so thinly sketched and pointlessly unlikeable that the story takes a sharp turn right into the trash. And then the ending cribs straight from The Wizard of Oz, complete with “…and you were there!” dialogue. I think I’m officially nauseous.

I understand the general concept – a woman too wrapped up in perfection can’t see that happiness comes in many different forms, specific to each individual – but this film? Absolutely wiffs it, big time. A confusing mess that’s part insulting, part incel (Milo is very “Why won’t she notice nice guys like me?” during this whole mess) and every bit plain ol’ gross. I think that every time someone watches this movie, an angel gets its wings cut off.

I can’t storyboard worth shit, and yet I can come up with three different ways this story could have gone, each one better than this dreck. And I’m the very model of “if you can’t create, critique”. It breaks my heart to see such an interesting premise get crapped on over and over again.

One bright moment? The photo shoot with the models is hilarious. Zoolander-level stupid models, clueless poses.. It’s the best part of this otherwise lifeless crap.

Don’t bother with this one. It’s too late for me, my soul is empty now. But save yourselves.

Score: 0 out of 5 Hos.