Tag Archives: Movies So Bad Creators Should Be Ashamed Of Themselves

“A Wrinkle in Time” – definitely a forehead wrinkler

“We can’t take credit for your faults. It’s how you use them that counts.” As the movie adaptation of A Wrinkle in Time is a confusing hodgepodge of…stuff?  So will my review be!  Talk like Yoda you will, if seeing … Continue reading

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#31in31 2017: “The Nightmare”

“This is the story of eight people and what waits for them in the darkness.” Story: Sleep paralysis. Yeah, I thought it was being trapped in bed. You too? The reality is much worse…because it’s not just the inability to … Continue reading

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#31in31 2017 – “It Follows”

“ZZZZZZ” – me, watching this. Story: So, there’s this It Follows Demon Thing, right? And it follows you (natch) after you have sex with someone it was following. If it catches you, it kills you, and then goes back to … Continue reading

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“The Cure for Wellness” is a whole lot of bad crazy. With eels.

Nutshell: Bojan Bazelli’s beautiful cinematography and Eve Stewart’s picture-perfect production design are wasted in this derivative horror mishmosh.  Speaking of criminal wastes of talent, Celia Imrie, Dane DeHaaan and Jason Isaacs turn in wonderful performances that this film just doesn’t … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: Camp Death

“Realism? Fuck realism!” Story: A film crew tries to make a slasher film, but didn’t expect a real killer to crash the joint. Ooh – so scary! Scares: Zero. Lame concept, lame acting, lame blocking. Angles that leave the action … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: The Secrets of Emily Blair

“You wanna do good in this world? You gotta get your hands dirty.” Story: A nurse got kissed by some possessed dude.  Gotta hate when that happens.  Meanwhile, her fiance notices things aren’t quite right with his lady.  The trail … Continue reading

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#31in31 2016: House of Fears

“My insurance doesn’t cover hormones.” Story: Zane gives his friends a tour of the HoF before it officially opens. But unbeknownst to him, his boss had an African statue delivered. That demon statue was opened, so all mediocre hell breaks … Continue reading

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