Before hitting the multiplex, please consider the health risks involved with participating in group gatherings at this time. Take very good care of yourselves – I wanna see you on the other side.
“WHAT THE HELL AM I WATCHING” – Me, as this cinematic masterpiece unfolds
Story: Once upon a time on MTV, there were a group of guys who figured it’d be a great idea to do really, really stupid shit and film it for a tv series. They were right; their show became a huge hit with lots of spin-offs. But now that the guys are nearing (or in head honcho Johnny Knoxville’s case, passing) fifty, have they learned anything? Well, nope. Not a thing y’all.
Genre I’d put it in: Don’t Do This EVER Reality-mentaries
Release Date: 2022
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the show Jackass, and a finale (?) of the Jackass Cinematic Universe
Gotta say: I am not the target audience for this. I’m not cool with bodily functions as humor – my stomach can’t take it. So basically, I’m a lightweight. I can’t say I’ve never watched Jackass; there was one clip I’d seen re-broadcast on another show. In that clip. Steve-O had a stone crab pinch his naked butt. Hilarity – and probably a few stitches – ensued. I shrugged, felt sorry for the poor crab, and moved on. With Forever? I’m doing the same thing. Did I laugh a few times? Of course I did, I’m not completely dead inside. But mostly, I just stared at the screen slack-jawed, trying to figure out what the hell was going on, and why all this middle-school dream fulfillment got such a huge following.
Oh wait; I think I just answered my question. Forever, like the entire franchise, harks back to when we were kids, triple-dog-daring each other to do really dumb stuff just to watch our friends recoil in horror. But the Jackass crew takes those dares, cranks the knob to 11, rips the knob off, and then sticks that knob up their favorite orifice. From the moment the gang introduces themselves in a long opening credits scene that rips off Kaiju films but uses Chris Pontius’ junk as The Terror? Yeah, this is gonna be for the set that giggles every time someone says boobies and dinkle. And as I just giggled? I guess this ain’t something I’d turn my nose up at.
At least not for the most part. These guys willingly sign up for what they put themselves through, even though there are times when they’re acting like they’d rather be anywhere else. But the scatalogical humor is something I can’t roll with. There’s two things I can’t watch because I’m a big huge wuss; needles going into skin (even when I know that it’s FX) and people’s bodily functions (ditto). Forever runs with the latter, making several skits moments where I simply closed my eyes and waited for the gang’s chatter to tell me that the scene had shifted. Otherwise? I sat in fascinated horror, unable to look away as the gang put themselves through hells of their own making.
Fine, one more thing. The animals. Yes, there was an animal wrangler on set. Yes, the end credits of the film alerted me to the fact that no animals were harmed in the making of this film. And yet, when I saw a scorpion, tarantula, snake, and bull go for a member of the gang? I winced. These creatures had to be primed to bite/sting/attack. And that made me feel ooky inside. At least the bear got some prime salmon for his big day onscreen. Go bear, get your bag.
So to wrap things up? Here’s 5 Things To Keep In Mind Before Watching Jackass Forever
- 1 – Don’t try to be cool and grab concessions, especially if this is your first Jackass rodeo. From what I was told, the scatological humor is dialed back in this film but replaced with other stuff (like GALLONS of animal semen), but you’re still probably going to want to have an empty stomach for what you’re about to receive.
- 2 – Make sure you have a firm grip on what your triggers are regarding ookie onscreen content , and understand that each one of those switches will probably be flicked. You’ve been warned.
- 3 – Understand that this is basically a real-life enaction of Idiocracy‘s TV show “Ow My Balls!”. In fact, I’m now wondering if Idiocracy was paying tribute to this gang when they came up with that make-belive show.
- 4 – If you walk into this film thinking there’s going to be some kind of story or plot arc? You’re… Well, you’re a jackass. This is just a simple grouping of sketches anywhere from a minute to around than 10 minutes. They’re strung together haphazardly, with no breathing room in between. And you know what? That works.
- 5 – Make sure you go with friends, or wait ’til this film hits streaming so you can gather the gang together. Forever is about this crazy gang of friends doing absolutely crazy shit. So you’re gonna want to gasp and scream with your own crew when you watch.
Grade: For fans of the gang? Probably an A. For me? I can’t even wrap my head around what the hell this was, so I guess they did their jobs? My brain hurts. Gun to my head? It’s exactly what it says on the tin, so B+. Had to subtract a few bits because I’m a wuss when it comes to bodily functions, but otherwise? They did their job and then some.
#Protip: Seriously, don’t try these stunts. Knoxville and company are super honest about the damage they’ve inflicted upon themselves. And if things had gone one tiny bit to one side or the other? There could have been fatal consequences. Be careful out there y’all.