“For 25 years, he’s been the master! He’s created ’em all!”

Story: Yep. Fire a guy who’s worked at your studio for 25 years, just so corporate shills can make more money after a takeover. That’d most likely do it. And if said guy is a makeup FX genius with a few “innovations” up his sleeve? Guess y’all better watch out.

Scares: Zero. It’s a 1950s monster fest.
Splat Factor: See above.

Subgenre: 50s Monster Mashes
Year Released: 1958
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though you’ll recognize creatures from earlier films.

Trick or Treat?: At first, I thought Monster would be a blast. Makeup from I Was a Teenage Werewolf and I Was a Teenage Frankenstein? Sign my ass up. But instead? I was bummed. This is a condemnation of capitalism hobbled by Hays Code restrictions, and boy howdy do I want a modern day remake.

This is an American International Pictures joint, and it’s got all the low budget monster-y goodness that implies. We get to see one of the coolest classic monsters from the 50s – the wolfman from I Was a Teenage Werewolf, though it’s not the OG star Michael Landon here, it’s Gary Clarke under all that. Then another character wears the I Was a Teenage Frankenstein makeup , worn again by the original films main monster, Gary Conway. Getting to see these looks in another film was a real treat.

There are several other Easter eggs from AIP films used as props in this film. It’s an FX wonderland…well, at least as long as they last. The fire at the film’s climax destroyed a lot of them, and yes my heart broke a little. Okay, a lot. The real life destruction of now historical monster movie props is criminal, and I don’t care if the real life creator Paul Blaisdell was supposedly fine…with most of it.

What really got me in Monster is how anti-capitalist the story starts out to be. FX master Paul Drummond starts off as a sweet guy happy to do his thing, and  by the end of the film is an unstable madman. The climax is typical Hays “the bad guy can’t be sympathetic” stuff, even though the switch in Drummond’s focus (or his loss thereof) feels like too big a jump from the established character. It’s a strange arc, but one you see in Hays Code era films all the time, regardless of genre.

The kills that are supposed to be chilling aren’t so shocking when looked at through modern day eyes. These guys are jerks, so feeling sorry for them isn’t in the cards in today’s jaded “but he deserves it tho” landscape. I didn’t feel bad that corporate shills who fired “hundreds” of staff got offed. They’re just fuel for the fire, y’all.

Ditto the douchebag studio security guard Monahan with delusions of grandeur – “this studio’s gonna be here a long time, and one day I’ll be it’s chief of police!” – hits different in the 21st century than it probably did in the 1950s. It was probably scary when  Monaghan was attacked back then, but nowadays? It’s more likely folks would cheer on the attack of such an egotistical jerk. A pushy, bullying agent didn’t gain my sympathy either…wow, so pushy annoying white guys were cool back then? Eww.

Still, I can’t trash this film. It’s pretty meta for it’s day, and of course the FX is glorious. The acting is beautifully wooden, except for Robert H. Harris as Drummond. He gets to have an arc, and though it’s a patch job, Harris gets to be sweet, and chew scenery.

For my fellow horror movie cliché fans, this movie even has a black woman in it, and she survives! For the 1950s, an elegantly dressed black woman with no overt stereotypes shoehorned in, Paulene Meyers’ Millie is a welcome change. Even though they dial it back a bit by having a white guy describe her as “a maid”. *sighs sadly*

The tag line – it’ll scare the YELL out of you – is kinda adorable. And the poster is pretty freaking wild for the 50s. So let’s take all the fun, and have a small studio do a modern retelling. With the cost of living rising and rising, and jobs harder to find? This story is ripe for an interesting spin. I’d be at the multiplex in a heartbeat.

Score: 3 out of 5 pumpkins.