“We let the police handle it, we’ll all gonna end up end up 50% off.”

Story: Thanksgiving in Plymouth, Massachusetts. How freakin’ American can you get? Well, this year, more than turkey is gonna get carved, thanks to a crazed killer stalking folks in the town. Is there any relation to the horrible Black Friday stampede that killed two people last year? Well, if you’re up on your 80s slasher history, the answer is YES DUH.

Scares: Lots of suspense
Splat Factor: All of it. Did I mention it’s written and directed by Eli Roth?

Subgenre: Gory Holiday Slashers
Year Released: 2023
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the “teaser trailer” in 2007’s Grindhouse.

Trick or Treat?: Ready for our next holiday, y’all? I figured I’d gear up by using this last 31in31 for jumping into November craziness. I was lucky enough to see 2007’s Grindhouse in a historic theater. Yep, it had a balcony and everything, and yes I sat in the front row of the balcony with my feet propped up on the wall/railing. (I miss you, Uptown. You were the best.) Grindhouse‘s mix of tongue-in-cheek harkbacks to old grindhouse films, drive-in double features, and of course the crazypants trailers in-between features is still one of my all-time favorite movie experiences. So when Eli Roth decided he’d take the trailer he’d made for Grindhouse and make it into a feature film? I was on board. And boy howdy does this film deliver the goods. Thanksgiving is everything you think it’ll be, and more. I say that as high praise.

Roth gathers a slew of folks you’ve seen in his prior films, along with some famouse new faces, and relative newcomer Nell Verlaque as final girl Jessica. This gory horror satire has a cast that goes all-in on the craziness, lending a level of gonzo storytelling to the festivities that keep things fun. Patrick Dempsey’s in-and-out “Baaahstun” accent is a hoot. I don’t know if he was told to do that on purpose, or Eli wasn’t focused. I’m betting the former. And it’s always a joy to see Rick Hoffman in an Eli Roth joint; here he’s Jessica’s money-obsessed dad Thomas, whose actions the year before caused the stampede in his store.

I had a few ideas on who the killer was… But I was wrong several times. It’s a bit of a surprise, though I’m sure there will be folks who guess correctly. I loved the multiple possibilities; each one could have been, but the real Big Bad is satisfyingly fun. The performer looks like they were having a blast, and the carnage is absolutely bonkers in the best possible way. Two Thousand Maniacs!? Never heard of her. Okay fine, that cult classic is amazing, but Thanksgiving is a satisfying blend of horror grindhouse, 80s slashers, and modern-day horror satire. It’s absolutely delicious.

With Thanksgiving, this makes three of the five trailers that were made into films. SXSW Grindhouse Trailer winner Hobo with a Shotgun and Robert Rodriguez’s Machete were first…but does this mean Rob Zombie’s Werewolf Women of the SS or Edgar Wright’s DON’T will happen? I can only hope so. Until then? This is going into my yearly turkey day must-watch marathon.

Oh, one more thing. There’s a short tidbit after the end credits I thought might connect this film to Hostel… But it’s just a blooper. OR IS IT. I need more, Eli.

Score: 4 out of 5 pumpkins.

REALLY excellent use of a cellphone to avoid the killer. Nice! [she sees him behind her in the phone’s reflection.]

Use of sound editing when [Yulia] gets corn holders jammed into her ears.

The killer makes sure a kitty is fed, and gives the fuzzy baby scritches. Obviously not a totally awful person…

Extremely gory kills.