“May your slashes be swift & sure, & may your success know no bounds. ❤️, Dad  P.S. Follow the rules.”

Story: The killer known as Bladecut is infamous. His films are classics of the horror genre. But let’s face it, the guy is aging out. Time to tap a successor. His daughter Abbie is eager to take on the mantle, and lord knows she’s studied at the knee of the legend. But what if one of your victims is, like, really cute though? And, y’know, your dad like, killed her girlfriend last year? I mean, Sam is single now, right? Right.

Scares: Meh.
Splat Factor: Slasher killers equal some fun kills.

Subgenre: Slasher Killers All In The Family
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: Great cast, great premise, and fun, effective FX. So why was I bored? Maybe because Wound doesn’t know what to do with it all. There’s a lack of cohesion to the story and emotional weight that lies firmly at the feet of the director. This film is yet another victim of the written/directed/produced-by curse. With Matthew John Lawrence helming all three positions, he succeeds at none of them.

The pretense – they do actual kills and pass them off slasher movies – is intriguing. Need these movies for their video store, because they’re “barely staying afloat”. Okay fine, that’s actually a pretty cool setup. But, the camera is where, exactly? Who’s keeping it all in frame? Unknown. It’s supposed to be part of the mystery in the film, but nothing ever really comes of it beyond a loose plot thread.

Billy Burke is great as the caring killer dad though. That’s just par for the course for such a talented actor. Even with way too much makeup FX – Bladecut looks like a slasher who received too much filler and Botox – Burke manages to deliver a moving performance, the killer’s love for his daughter undeniable, as is his blasé view of the death and destruction he doles out. As Abbie, Sari Arambulo tries her best with what’s given to her, and she’s an absolute champ.

Wound feels hollow, even with all the marks of an excellent film. Editing that plops (that’s right. Not pops. Plops. I said what I said) from one plot beat to the next without any sense of urgency or emotional weight left me frustrated. First at myself for not getting sucked in. Then, once I realized what cinematic missteps were taking place, at the director for wasting the incredible potential of the story and this great cast.

Wound feels like a more comedic Leslie Vernon, but with less actual fun bits. That lack of engagement make Wound feel like a slog. Best watched with others, so you’re not focusing on what’s lacking here. Just let the fun wash over you and try to ignore that hole in your heart where the fun should be.

Score: 1.5 out of 5 pumpkins.