” I thought they took these assholes out.”

Genre: Sleep Inducing Sequels
Release Date: 2025
Where I Watched: Shudder

Gist: Something about someone who’s trying to figure out something and The Abbadon Hotel after one of the many bloody oopsie doodles that happened there. Or something. It’s tough to tell with this cobbled together “story”.

Gotta say: Lineage is disappointing, dull, and had me thinking that the Ludovico Technique could be a good idea sometimes. Well, at least when it comes to staying awake during bad movies. Because DAMN this movie is a clunker.

If you go into this sequel with a rudimentary knowledge of the Hell House, you’ll be absolutely lost. If you don’t know every bit of lore this series has trotted out in past films, not only will nothing make sense, but the emotional connection this story relies on to pull viewers in.

The musical score tries to do the heavy lifting here, with minor keys and deep, sonorous booms that aim to help us feel something. It’s a fantastic score, but with nothing else in the film to support it, Lineage flounders. I do hope the music a sound folks get better gigs though; they’re truly slumming it here.

The flat, emotionless affect so many of the actors have while delivering their lines helps lull viewers into slumberland. I lay this at the feet of the director, who could have done more, oh, directing. If Robert Pattinson didn’t know how to portray Edward because the only motivation he saw in the script was “pretty”? These actors also seem to have been given no motivation for their roles.

If you think I’m gonna tell you something good about this one, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Lineage feels like a film by committee, and a disinterested one at that. The editing is haphazard, the scenes build up to nothing, and the mythology that’s supposedly unveiled feels like it was cranked out via MadLibs.

It took me three separate viewings to get through this. And before you say “well no wonder you couldn’t follow it”? Please believe me that it wouldn’t have made a difference. Okay fine; I’d have had to watch the whole thing from the beginning, because after about an hour and a half of this film, my eyes rioted and my body wanted to shut down from exhaustion only the truly disappointed know.

Skip this one. It’s not even worth a hate watch, or party game. Which is probably the only horrific thing about this movie.

Come for: One final (?) trip to The Abbadon Hotel.
Stay for: A cure for insomnia.