Story: Michael Meyers killed his sister, stalked a babysitter named Laurie that is actually his other sister…etc.  After tracking down Laurie twenty years later, he’s still after her.  Oh, and meanwhile back at the Meyer’s house, there’s a reality TV show gearing up for Halloween.  But since Halloween is the night HE came home, that’s probably not the best idea.

Scares: Plenty.  Even after seeing Michael over and over again, he still gives good creepy.

Splat factor: Michael Meyers.  Hapless college co-eds.  Carving knife.  Enough said.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not if you’ve watched any slasher movie ever in the history of ever.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: This is the bazillionth sequel to the original, and still amazing, Halloween.  Okay, it’s the eighth Halloween movie.  But it feels like the bazillionth.

Trick or Treat?:  Halloween Resurrection is like a candy apple; it was the best thing in the whole world when you first had one, but now the cracks are showing and it’s not the fun treat you remember.  Still, you pick one up anyway for the nostalgia.  This installment of the Michael Kills Everyone In Sight franchise has our favorite Shatner lookalike splattering reality stars all over his home.  Maybe I like this movie because I kinda want to do the same thing whenever I see Jersey Shore or The Bachelor.  Like Diary of the Dead, it’s the new twenty-somethings of the 21st Century, longing for stardom withouth having to actually do anything like think or study.  And the one smart gal who knows better than to get involved with this stupid shit, but isn’t above a little peer pressure.  (After all the blood-encrusted crap that has gone down in the past, why would ANYONE live in Haddonfield, let alone go to Hallonfield University?  It’s just like ringing a dinner bell.)

A pre-BSG Katee Sackhoff is the poster girl for why I will never wear red lipstick, but she does a great job hamming it up as a victim-to-be.  Busta Rhymes & Tyra Banks are hilarious as reality tv — “Dangertainment!” — producers eager for bucks.  Think of this sequel as “Halloween Gone Wild”!  On the plus side, there’s nice cell phone interaction here, probably the best use of modern technology in a horror movie to date.  It sure beats the usual no reception/my cellphone’s dead cop-out that’s usually the rule of the day. That alone bumps it up half a pumpkin.

Always remember this kiddies; Michael Meyers will always win as long as people aren’t paying attention. And if there’s a producer eager for some quick cash.

Score:  out of 5 pumpkins.