#31in31 2016: Wishmaster 2

wishmaster-2-poster“All right. I understand. You’ve had a tough day. I can see how this could get a little depressing in here…”

Story: Hey, robbing an art museum sounds like a great idea! Unless you inadvertently release an evil Djinn that kills your boyfriend during your heist. Maybe ask your old buddy the hot priest for help, because that Djinn needs a thousand souls…and he’s gone to prison to find them. Let’s get biblical y’all!

Scares: Only for the newest of newbies to this genre.

Splat factor: Low key  until the climax. Then it’s the usual red syrup & jello FX late 90s low budget horror films love.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope. So it’s got that going for it.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Movie 2 of the Wishmaster oeuvre. Straight to video, and laws it shows.

Trick or Treat?: By the Prince of Persia, this movie’s a stinker. Bad acting, even worse special effects – a sad mix of cheap 90s CGI and slapdash animation – and sets that look like this film was shot on a soap opera soundstage during off hours. Where the first Wishmaster came off as campy fun, W2 is just sad.

W2 tries to bring more spirituality & mythology to this sequel, but it’s a mess of Internet searches, a church filled with items from several different sections of Christianity (whatever’s on hand, y’all!), and barely fleshed out pretend-pagan rituals that seem out of place with the constant harkbacks to Christianity and God. Which in itself seems odd, as we’re talking pre-Islamic Persian belief systems when it comes to the Djinn.

Then there’s Morgana, someone who’s only too happy to shoot and kill a guard during a robbery, but when she starts having bad dreams, instantly becomes religious. Complete with heavy handed symbolism; Morgana changes from a wardrobe of mostly black to one of all white. Because she’s a good girl now, GET IT? *cue sledgehammer of symbolism*

There are so many plot points that don’t make sense – why isn’t the fact that Morgana and the priest make out before the film’s climax brought up as a sign of impurity? Why do some people simply have their soul go missing, while other people literally dissolve into a pile of mushy jello? If everyone affected – living or dead – gets their soul back when the Djinn is defeated, wouldn’t that include Morgana’s burglar boyfriend? Ah, who cares. If the director gave zero, so do I.

Given a full star bump-up because I didn’t get outright angry at this mess. It sucks, but it’s not anger inducing bad. It’s just lame.

Score: 2 out of 5 pumpkins.

wpid-pumpkin9.jpgwpid-pumpkin9.jpg

This entry was posted in 31 in 31, Movie Reviews and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s