“It’s what we do, Rose. We continue.”

Story: Momma goes to town, but dies in a horrible accident. What will daddy and his three kids do? Well, Iris is the oldest. Guess she’ll take over. Better hurry; dinner’s in the basement, and she won’t slaughter herself.

Scares: This has a quiet indie pace, so there’s tons of effective creep, but nothing out and out scary.

Splat factor: Body and blood? Literally. Christianity taken to the Nth degree y’all. It’s no splatterfest, but there are definitely moments of grue, and some effectively stages shots of bloody aftermath.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Nope. Though I do hear tell of a sequel that may actually be a prequel.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original.

Trick or Treat?: A very intense, dark film. I liked it, but it also drove me nuts with its heavy handed Deep Thoughts vibe. Yeah you’re an artiste. But do you have to be so slow with the pacing? I almost FF’d once or twice  but I’m a professional. I just grabbed more wine.

The pace is glacial. A bit too many important silences and intense looks. But damn this film has a bang-up payoff – THAT’S a climax! Feels a bit heavy handed from the slow meandering quiet creepy that’s come before, but horror hounds will definitely appreciate it. I don’t want to lay out too much, for fear of spoiling it for folks who may be interested. But let’s just say it’s all about dinner.

This is a film that starts strong, and pays off at the end. But getting through the in-between may be an endurance test for some horror hounds. Catch it when you’re laid up with the flu and half gassed on cough syrup. Let the story unfold. You may dig it. Or it may put you to sleep. Win-win.

Score: 3 out of 5 pumpkins. I’d like to rate this higher, but the snail’s pace just won’t justify it.