You risked your life for a fucking photo shoot?

Story: college kids follow a charismatic environmentalist into the Amazon to help save the rainforest from illegal development. But when their plane crashes, these kids end up invited to dinner by the local indigenous tribe… OF CANNIBALS. *da duuuum*

Scares: Not many. It’s mostly…

Splat factor: …splatter. Think a re-imagining of Cannibal Holocaust for modern audiences.

Closing scene “shocker”?: There’s a mid-credits scene at the end, but I wouldn’t call it a shocker.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Director Eli Roth calls this movie a homage to the splattery horror films of the 70s, but otherwise it’s an original.

Trick or Treat?: An Eli Roth cannibal movie? You’re either licking your lips, or you’ve already bounced out of this post in search of less bloody offerings. Still here? Groovy. Because surprise – Green Inferno is a helluva good time. As someone who wasn’t particularly a fan of 70s splatter, I’m shocked as hell that I had a bloody blast watching this flick.

The first 50 minutes or so are basically “how we get to the gore”, but once things get going, the red flows like crazy. But to be honest? Roth’s Hostel was a lot tougher to watch than Inferno. Yeah, this movie was bloody, but it’s not as gruesome as you might expect given the fella in charge and the subject. It’s a little bit of in-your-face, mixed with a lot of what you think you’re seeing, covered in copious amounts of the red stuff.

What kept me invested all the way through was the way Roth’s characters were, for the most part, not the usual bumbling idiots who do the stupidest thing imaginable at every turn. Except for following a total jackass into the Amazon, their actions are on point.

And amid all the grue there’s actually a message or two. Inferno definitely points fingers at idiots who join causes without doing due diligence. There’s also a bit of information on the deforestation of the Amazon, and the corruption surrounding much of it. There’s also a good bit of humor in the film, albeit of the dark variety. I love dark humor, so when a scene cuts to a little girl running off with a human leg almost bigger than she is? I guffawed. What? It’s funny!  Don’t take it from me, take it from the real-life Peruvian tribe (NOT CANNIBALS IRL) that Roth used as “cannibals” in the film.  Those folks thought they were shooting a comedy!

My only problem with Inferno? The people in this tribe eat everyone so damn quickly. I can’t imagine they get that much human foot traffic around their parts, so I’d expect they’d try to make their invaders last a bit. And okay; the ending is kinda weird.  That’s all I’ll say outside of the ol’ invisotext.  Which is here:  why does the lone survivor say that the tribe was friendly and after the plane crash were completely hospitable and even showed the way to civilization?  Feels weird.  Maybe to save pain and save the rainforest?  Dunno.

tl;dr? A fun mix of splatter, message horror, and even a touch of 80s slasher horror tropes. Worth a watch for anyone who can take the blood.

Score: 4 out of 5 pumpkins.