“Grab anything that might make a good weapon.”

Story: Siblings and their SOs gather at their woodsy vacay home to celebrate their parents anniversary. So girlfriend Erin tags along with older boyfriend Crispian to the festivities. But this weekend, the festivities are getting picked off one by one. Erin’s not having any of that, though.

Scares: Lots of tension and suspense. And of course the killings are chilling, even when you’re rooting for the survivors.

Splat factor: People getting murdered in all kindsa ways, but mostly with sharp implements. Lots of the red stuff, and folks getting dead. No straight-up body organs though.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Not really. But the final scene is a fun one if you’ve been paying attention.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Though it’s firmly in the slasher genre, this is gloriously original.

Trick or Treat?: Damn, this is an effective thriller. It’s horror through and through, but it’s up there with Deliverance and Wolf Creek rather than Scream or Friday the 13th. That’s no insult; You’re Next manages to be incredibly scary and suspenseful while avoiding the usual tropes that have been done to death. Hooray for mumblegore!

The switcheroo of having one of the girls be an expert survivalist is a refreshing change from the usual Final Girl trope. And Erin is a kickass protagonist, even when all the characters around her are acting like idiots. GODS this family is a group of vapid, histrionic morons. When faced with psychopathic killers, their response is to scream at the top of their lungs, completely freak out, and/or break away from the group. Are they being manipulated by The Facility from The Cabin in the Woods? Erin tries her best to snap everyone out of their terror fog, but to no avail.

It’s a damn fine story by Simon Barrett (Temple), full of twists and turns that keep the one-by-one plot gripping as hell.

Keep an eye out for directors Ti West (The Inkeepers) and Joe Swanberg (V/H/S) as family members – don’tcha just love it when directors pop into other’s films? Oh, and that song? This. You’re welcome.

If you’re looking for an edge-of-your-seat horror, look no further. This one’s damn near perfect.

Score: 4.5 out of 5 pumpkins.