“Figured you’d want to spend your last moments with the old ball and chain.” 

Genre: OH CRAP Thrillers Suitable For Holiday Season Viewing
Release Date: 2021
Where I Watched: Netflix

Gist: Emma’s spending the weekend with her hubby for their tenth anniversary, mazel! But she’s just broken things off with her side guy, her hubby is a controlling douche, and when she wakes up the morning after a strangely overkill romantic evening? Her hubby blows his brains out…after handcuffing himself to her. So I guess it’s as bad as things can be, unless you count the hired killers gunning for her. Tis the season for dragging your dead jerkwad hubby around?

Talky talk: Death had me sucked into giving it a look the moment I saw the bonkers trailer. Weekend At Bernie’s: Psychopath Edition? I’m here for it. The story take a while to truly hook me, but once it does, I was pretty impressed. Bloody, fascinating, and with moments of pitch-dark humor, this might not be the perfect holiday thriller, but it’s a very good time.

What I really love about Megan Fox’s Emma? She’s not stupid; she does the best that she’s able to do rather than just sitting around and whimpering screaming or tripping. Can’t say the same for many other low-budget horror heroines. And plus, Emma has some pretty slick tricks up her sleeve, which is amazing for a gal who’s probably thisclose to hypothermia. Seriously, this film was shot in Bulgaria. In the winter. So running around outside in just a dress shirt slacks and maybe some tule around your feet? Megan Fox must have been freezing her [RADIO EDIT] off. Bravo girl, get it. Did she get hazard pay, because I hope she did.

I thought I’d know how things would pan out from scene to scene, but I was pleasantly surprised several throughout the movie. From Emma’s backbone to her hubby’s one-step-ahead insanity and the killers’ back-and-forth, Death rewards viewers with twists and turns you either won’t see coming, or didn’t figure would play out the way they do. Granted, things took a while to heat up. I was around forty-five minutes in ’til I was firmly invested. Before that, I was trying to figure out why I’d been immediately sucked in by the similarly themed Gerald’s Game, but was kinda meh with the first third of this film. I’m gonna chalk it up to me not being in the spirit while watching Death, as both films have well done stories, plotting, and performances from their lead heroines. I need to pace myself when I down holiday cookies; sugar crash is a beast.

This is a perfect yelling at the characters while you’re kinda drunk/sugared up kind of movie. I was sober while watching this, so while I found it entertaining, I’m not having the total blast that I could have had if I’d been a few glasses in the wind. (Or if I’d been pounding holiday cookies throughout.) So what I’m saying is this; if you’re looking for a film for you and your friends to gather ’round on Christmas Eve-Eve? Imbibe, get your best “WOOHOO” ready, and enjoy. Happy Merry!

Come for: The intriguing premise that’s crazy enough to tempt you.
Stay for: A final girl who knows how to stay alive and gives absolutely zero fucks.