“Maybe we’re not alone, and maybe our company does not wish us well.”

Story: The search for life beyond our wee planet has been going on for quite some time. A documentarian looks at two tapes – “Proof 1” and “Proof 2” – to see if they hold any information that can prove there’s life out there.

Scares: Several solid moments, and lots of fun sci-fi/horror shenanigans
Splat Factor: Blood. Entrails. Faces ripped off. People torn apart or put back together-ish.

Subgenre: Popular Horror Anthology Series
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Part of the V/H/S series of films

Trick or Treat?: The V/H/S series has been a long, strange trip, and for the most part getting a new entry has been one of the many reasons October is so much fun. (We do not speak of V/H/S Viral. At all.) This time, the series focuses on aliens, with almost every story getting a touch of the E.T. treatment. And it just might be the best one yet, second only to last year’s ’85.

Y’all know the drill by now; I’ll jot down the basics for each story and the wrap-around tale. Then I’ll spout off about the film as a whole.

• “Stork” (d: Jordan Downey, w: Kevin Stewart & Jordan Downey) – a group of paramilitary folks armed for bear head into a spooky ol’ house. Why? Because it’s time to eradicate some zombies y’all! But there’s more to this first-person shooter than the initial throwdown would lead you to believe.
• “Dream Girl” (d: Virat Pal, w: Evan Dickson and Virat Pal) – Paparazzi suck. Especially if you’re a mega-popular starlet in Mumbai. Double especially if a paparazzi hides in your closet to grab a “candid shot”… But like her new song says, she’s a Goddess, right? No. She’s not that.
• “Live and Let Dive” (d: Justin Martinez, w: Ben Turner, Justin Martinez) – Happy 30th, Zach! We’re taking you skydiving, even though you seem like you’d rather be doing anything else. Especially when everybody see what looks like a UFO and a few American fighter jets super close to our plane. What could go wrong; we’re all strapped for a jump, right? Right.
• “Fur Babies” (w/d: Christian and Justin Long) – When a group of self-described animal rights activists decide to “take down” a woman and her doggy day care, things don’t exactly go as planned. It’s like these activists don’t know how to be good doggies. Luckily, our friendly neighborhood doggy day care lady can help with that.
• “Stowaway” (d: Kate Siegel/w: Mike Flanagan) – When Halley heads out to the Mojave Desert to look for signs of alien life, her interviews seem like the same ol’ stuff. But while camping out in the wild, she discovers everything her heart desires. Be careful what you wish for, kids.

While I like the change-up from general spookiness on tape to a specific type of horror, several of these tales could easily fit into other subgenres. “Fur Babies” and “Stork” feel like mad scientist and monster mash tales that were shoehorned into this film’s theme. “Dream Girl” could be a supernatural/techno-pagan thing, though it never does come out and say what exactly is up. “Live and Let Dive” and “Stowaway”, and the wraparound, “Abduction/Adduction”, are firmly in alien territory, with definitive extraterrestrial goings-on.

Beyond does a great job using the wraparound story to introduce each segment. Listening to the documentarian, you’ll get a little taste of what’s to come; but like any oracle, the connections may not make sense until after each story unfolds. Gore-wise? Every story except the wrap-around has the V/H/S trademark buckets o’ blood, though “Stowaway” takes a more unfocused, broader look at things.

“Stowaway” is my favorite of this bunch, though the competition was pretty steep. Still, this one was consistently well done, without either losing focus at the end (what’s up, “Dream Girl”), or being so savagely frenetic it pulled me out of the goings-on (looking at you, “Live and Let Dive”.) Now I want to see more of Katie Siegel behind the camera, as she’s got the same talent here as she does when she’s in front of it.

Aliens, spacecrafts and such did have me wondering how a few of these two tapes actually got into the hands of the documentarian. And who cobbled together two VHS tapes from the various forms of videography used in each story to begin with? I know, I know, I’m overthinking it, I should just have fun, yada yada. Still, when I think about that kind of thing while the film is spooling, I’m gonna mention it. Ditto for the use of strobes/lightning effects in “Dream Girl” and “Live and Let Dive”. Beyond gives folks a heads-up before the film starts, which is nice. But if you’re sensitive but also wanna check out this film? You can easily skip these two stories and dig into the others with no problem. The fast forward button is a beautiful thing.

So yeah, Beyond is worth the almost two hours you’ll spend. If the V/H/S series keeps cranking out fun anthologies like this, I’m already looking forward to next year. But would someone please check on Justin Long? I don’t think that boy’s been right since Tusk…

Score: 3.5 out of 5 pumpkins. (I don’t know if I’m becoming more crotchety in my old age, or just a more discerning critic. Both? Both.)