“So, what are you guys doing out here anyway? I mean, this is kinda out in the middle of nowhere.”

Story: The Collingwood family – John, Emma, and daughter Mari – head up to their lake house for some r&r. But instead of hanging out with the ‘rents, Mari meets up with townie friend Paige. But the two girls get a whole lot more than they bargained for when a hangout with a boy they just met turns into meeting his family. His very violent family. Meanwhile, John and Emma are kicking back at the house, when a storm breaks. Knock knock, who’s there? Trouble. But for who?

Scares: Horrifying rather than terrifying at first, then comes…
Splat Factor: …the gross out.

Subgenre: Grindhouse Remakes
Year Released: 2009
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Remake of 1972’s The Last House on the Left

Trick or Treat?: The OG The Last House on the Left is infamous for it’s over the top horrific sequences of violence. It was thought of as one of those Can’t Make This Nowadays films. But as the aughts were big into the “torture pørn” subgenre, a remake of this chiller seemed tailor made. And while grindhouse purists may turn their noses up at this new take, it’s got a lot to recommend.

Casting of Tony Goldwyn and Monica Potter as Mari’s parents is perfect; their wholesome suburban normalcy vibes plays well with the plot, and how “normal” people can be pushed to their limits, and break them. Goldwyn and Potter give excellent performances here, though I did have to put Goldwyn’s President Fitz out of my head at first. (Though I’d love to have seen Fitz and Kerry Washington’s Olivia Pope in this situation, if only to hear Olivia say “It’s handled.”) Sara Paxton plays the naive, trusting Mari with just a touch of steel; she knows she’s out of her depth, but tries to balance terror with possibilities of escape flashing in her eyes. A nice bit of backstory sees Mari train at her local pool at the start of the film, both in swimming and holding her breath underwater. Helps make what happens later believable for the character. And Paxton does a great job.

As the creeps, Garret Dillahunt, Aaron Paul and Riki Lindhome (as Krug, Francis, and Sadie) are menacing without being too over-the-top. Sure, they’re batshit, but there’s also a slyness to them, as if they’ve been doing what they do for a while, and know how to get away with things. Spencer Treat Clark plays Justin, Krug’s wide-eyed son, who seems to wish he was anywhere but with his family. This is a change from the original, as that films’ “Junior” was in on the horrible action. Here, Justin, and Clark’s sensitive portrayal, made me want to know Justin’s backstory. Did Krug kill his mom? Are they even related, or was he a “spoil” from an earlier time? I like how this film made me think about this character. Bravo, writers.

OG director Wes Craven has producer credits here, and looks to have had a heavy hand in casting the film, and discussing plot points with screenwriters. OG producer Sean. S. Cunningham comes back to help produce this new take. While this remake doesn’t have the grainy, documentary style look and feel of the original, there’s a touch of yellow color grading that gives this film a touch of grit. There are several changes here that may displease lovers of the original’s bleak storytelling, but I loved the swaps. What can I say? I prefer a film that touches on possibilities for hope. Though there’s a final scene that’s the goriest of the lot, and pays off a Chekov-esque bit of banter between John and Emma near the beginning of the film. That ending scene is absolutely unnecessary and feels tacked-on, but it’s still cool as hell.

This Left has about as happy an ending as this type of story can have. Especially if, like me, you’re a fan of medieval morality play plots. So if you’ve always been afraid of the original Left? Try this one out. While this film definitely has Aughts sensibilities, it’s enough of a gut-punch for folks either just stepping into splatter, or who don’t want to deal with the horrific realism of the original film.

Score: 4 out of 5 pumpkins.