“Aww. How romantic. It’s too bad I’m more of a horror fan.”

Story: A couple decides to go on a shark cage expedition, but things take a bloody turn when their guide Tucker feeds one of them to the sharks. And when American surfer Zephyr gets caught by the crazed guide, things are gonna get even bloodier. But for WHOMST. (Everyone. It gets bloody for everyone.)

Scares: Lots and lots of terror and suspense.
Splat Factor: Serial killer + sharks feeding = you betcha

Subgenre: Sharky Goodness From Australia
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: This ain’t a horror movie. It’s an extended meet-cute, with sharks. Fine. It’s more than that, but with The Loved Ones‘ Sean Byrne directing this? You know there’s gonna be a twisted take on feelings and shit.

Zephyr is one of the most cunning final girls I’ve ever seen. Watching her fight for her life is absolutely thrilling. Hassie Harrison, a doppelganger for Jennifer Lawrence in looks and talent, doesn’t so much pull you into her world, but yank you kicking and screaming. Her wannabe love interest Moses (Josh Heuston) doesn’t get a lot to do besides pine and then react to the terrors at sea, but Harrison and Heuston are believable as two people who meet and deeply connect despite each other.

As crazypants killer Tucker, Jai Courtney plays it fast and loose. Tucker is a man who survived a serious shark attack when he was seven, and every time he feeds someone to the sharks, it feels like he’s trying to relive that attack, and survive again by proxy. Animals will be getting a re-watch from me, just so I can focus on his ice cold crazy he puts onscreen.

While the kill count is relatively low – again, like Ones, the cast is very small – damn if there isn’t enough blood to chum the water nicely. There’s an overly bright, washed out look to the daytime that makes the realism Byrne is going for really pop. The nighttime shots are lit well, with nothing hidden from view. This movie wants you to see what’s going on. That first nighttime attack is genuinely horrifying. Not only the attack, but the way Tucker is fascinated.  Truly, Courtney? Layers.

The ending is satisfying as hell, with a little twist of the knife for funsies. And FYI, there’s a doggo in the film who briefly shows up, and survives everything. You’re learning, Byrne.

Add this one to a fun shark movie marathon, with films like The Shallows, The Meg, and Deep Blue Sea.

Score: 3.5 out of 5 pumpkins.