“Just because I killed my family doesn’t mean I didn’t love them.” [WE LOVE YOU STANLEY TUCCI]
Story: A world-wide pandemic that left the majority of the human race infected with a vicious mutated strain of rabies. A man named Morgan works with a research center to find a cure. But until the first patient – Patient Zero – is found? That seems impossible.
Scares: If you’re terrified of loud noises and shouting? Avoid this one.
Splat Factor: Zombies get splattered. Humans get bit.
Subgenre: Sadly Uninteresting Zombie Movies
Year Released: 2018
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but I was hoping it’d be based on the book of the same name by Jonathan Maberry.
Trick or Treat?: A mishmosh of I Am Legend, Day of the Dead, and the most uninteresting Game of Thrones cast reunion you could imagine. Zero looks good, and has the talent in front of the camera. What happened?
This cast is epic. Matt Smith, Natalie Dormer, John Bradley, and Stanley Tucci. How did they get here? Did they owe the producers a favor? And oh, the American accents from Smith and Bradley are delightful in that “wait, is this dubbed by AI” kind of way. Smith does a greatest hits of various regions, and it’s wonderful. And no, there’s no way in hell I could ever do any regional UK accent even half as well, thanks for asking.
The problem with Zero is the listless plot that adds nothing to the basic zombie narrative we’ve all seen a thousand times. Writer Mike Le has some interesting ideas, but it’s not enough to build an interesting film. The way the virus occurred is too twee for such a boilerplate action horror. That humanity picked now to hit a water level of anger to mutate a virus? Oh, okay.
Director Stefan Ruzowitzky may have an Oscar to his name, but he phoned it in here. The shots are uninteresting, the editing serviceable, and except for Mason’s wife? The character arcs are nonexistent. Heck, there’s barely much blood, beyond a splatter here and there.
Is it worth it just for Tucci? I mean, it’s always a good time to watch Stanley do his stuff. But maybe catch Road to Perdition or The Lovely Bones if you want a Creepy Tucci fix.
Score: 1.5 out of 5 pumpkins. A full star for Tucci. A half star for those American accents.
