“How to Train Your Dragon” (2025) is live-action done right

“Figure out which side you’re on.”

Story: On the isle of Berk, there are tribes from all over the world. Their one connection? They’re the very best at what they do. Which is dragon killing. But when young Hiccup wounds a dragon and gets to see the dragon for what it is? Hiccup changes history. But y’know, not without a few…hiccups along the way.

Genre I’d put it in: Actually Great Live-Action Remakes
Release Date: 2025
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the 2010 film of the same name, characters and story from the novel by Cressida Cowell.

Gotta say: I love Toothless. He’s my kindred spirit, my familiar, my sweet kitten-dragon baby of love. So the original How To Train Your Dragon is a particular favorite of mine. I want you to fully understand the gravity of the situation when I say that this live-action remake? This one right here? I love it more than the original film. And yes, I’m as surprised as you are. How’d this film do that? By focusing on real-life human emotion, allowing the remake to become a more realistic – dare I say grown-up – version of the story that the whole family can still enjoy wholeheartedly.

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In Queue Review – “Mickey 17”


“Oh, sauce is the true litmus test of civilization!”

Genre: Offbeat Sci-Fi Social Critique
Release Date: 2025
Where I Watched: HBOMAX

Gist: Mickey Barnes is a guy whose whole life seems to have been one bad decision after another. So when he gets in deep with a loan shark – who knew macarons wouldn’t become the next hamburger – he and his friend Timo get sent to Niflheim, a hot new planet/colony four years away by spaceship. Timo becomes a pilot, but Mickey? He’s an Expendable; someone whose sole purpose is to die and get re-cloned over and over again, so the colony can avoid pesky things like viruses and space death. But hey, he’s got a girlfriend! And this new planet has aliens that are definitely not humanoid! So that’s cool, right? Is our dinner Soylent Green? Sure looks like it.

Gotta say: Robert Pattinson and Bong Joon Ho is a match made in surrealist comedy heaven. Add in Toni Collette and Steven Yeun and Mark Ruffalo hamming their asses off, and boom. You get one hell of a wild ride. If, like me, you missed this at the multiplex, now’s the perfect time to catch it from the comfort of your own sofa. In this year filled with absolute craziness in real life? 17‘s look at fanatical devotion of one’s leaders feels like dramatic realism. With aliens. Well, we don’t have aliens here. OR DO WE? [Pauses for effect. Hears crickets.]

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Ballerina”!

Ready for the expansion of the Wick Universe? Synopsis!

Taking place during the events of John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum, the film follows Eve Macarro (Ana de Armas) who is beginning her training in the assassin traditions of the Ruska Roma.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “How to Train Your Dragon”!

Who doesn’t love Toothless? Y’all, this is the one live action remake I’ve actually been stoked for. Synopsis!

On the rugged isle of Berk, where Vikings and dragons have been bitter enemies for generations, Hiccup (Mason Thames; The Black Phone, For All Mankind) stands apart. The inventive yet overlooked son of Chief Stoick the Vast (Gerard Butler, reprising his voice role from the animated franchise), Hiccup defies centuries of tradition when he befriends Toothless, a feared Night Fury dragon. Their unlikely bond reveals the true nature of dragons, challenging the very foundations of Viking society.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“The Old Lady With the Knife” – an intriguing story that could be sharper

“Watch who you hire.”

Story: Hornclaw, a “specialist” – think more Nobody, less The Pitt – has been doing her job for the past forty years. She’s the one every other killer has nightmares about, a true legend in her field. But sixty-five years are starting to weigh on her. She’s still at the top of her game, but everyone else thinks it’s time she’s out to pasture. So when brash young Bullfight joins her agency, he’s determined to take her down, thanks to the attachments she’s started to form with a young man and his family. Bullfight has obviously never watched an action movie in his life. Otherwise he’d know this is gonna be one tough matchup.

Genre I’d put it in: Heartstring-tugging Action Movies You Kinda Already Know
Release Date: 2025
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the novel of the same name by South Korean author Gu Byeong-mo.

Gotta say: I’m a sucker for action films. Throw in a little soapy drama, and you couldn’t keep me away. Knife has the same gritty realism you’ve come to expect from Korean actioners like Train to Busan, and The Gangster, the Cop, the Devil (what can I say – I’m a sucker for any film Ma Dong-seok is in), and Oldboy. Knife pays beautiful homage to the pantheon of action greats, but abrupt, often disjointed editing keeps this one from truly soaring to the heights it could have reached.

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In Queue Review – “Heart Eyes”

“We’re not a couple! We barely know each other! So back the fuck off!”

Genre: Horror Comedies That Wink At You In A Good Way
Release Date: 2025
Where I Watched: Netflix

Gist: Ally, a “pitch designer” (read: an in-house marketing maven) for a jewelry company, isn’t doing well. She’s still not over her BF dumping her, and her latest pitch is absolutely awesome going viral in the wrong way. So the CEO brings in a pitch hitter to develop a new campaign… And what do you know it’s Jay, the guy Ally just met-cuted at the coffee shop! Surely this means all will be well, and the Heart Eyes Killer’s yearly slaughterfest won’t be a problem, right? Oh, my sweet summer child. Your first horror-rom-com?

Gotta say: Damn this hit streaming fast. I love that. Mostly because I forgot it was hitting theaters…until it left theaters. But I’ve had this marked as a must watch ever since Netflix allowed me to hit Remind Me on this film. And Eyes was worth the wait. It’s a killer (I’ll be here all week) blend of romcom, slasher, and comedy that’ll please just about* everyone.

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The YouTubes – “‘Sinners’ and the General State of Things” from The Morbid Zoo

“[Remmick’s] claim is that he’ll give everyone the community they’re seeking without the pain. But that’s impossible, because blues is pain. Finding fellowship in suffering is the entire point of the genre. There is no blues without pain, and denying the importance of pain to the human condition cheapens any art you try to make.”

Damn. Zoo takes so much of today’s art to task by waxing poetic about what Sinners gets right. Her deep dive into the movie it’s themes and the importance of the music used in the film is incredible. Her look at vampirism in the film and it’s parallels stagnation of art is something that made me say “oh my God you’re so right ‘several times during this video essay. That stagnation has been all too prevalent; looking at you, big-time movie and music studios.

Check this one out. But y’know, after you’ve seen Sinners. (Though I don’t know if there’s any movie lover who hadn’t seen this movie yet.)

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Baltimore NOW PLAYING Ticket Code-palooza: “Shadow Force”!

Want to hit the multiplex but don’t want to shell out? I hear ya. So why not enter for a chance at two tickets for Shadow Force? Synopsis!

In SHADOW FORCE, Kyrah (Washington) and Isaac (Sy) were once the leaders of a multinational special forces group called Shadow Force. They broke the rules by falling in love, and in order to protect their son, they go underground. With a large bounty on their heads, and the vengeful Shadow Force hot on their trail, one family’s fight becomes all-out war.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“Greek Mothers Never Die”

“How could I not love her? She’s my mother. But she’s Greek…”

Story: Ella has spent all of her 26 years close to her overprotective mother Despina. But when Despina suddenly passes away? Ella is at a loss…until her mom returns from the grave to be a neurotic angel on her shoulder. Just in time to give unsolicited advice – and be the third wheel – during Ella’s reunion with her childhood BFF, Nick. Opa?

Genre I’d put it in: Comedies That Could Be Horror Stories For My Family
Release Date: 2025 (Video On-Demand beginning 5/9/2025)
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, but if you have any Greek relatives? You’ll be hearing the choppers.

Gotta say: Oh, my Greek people. This isn’t a movie. It’s a PSYOP for anyone who’s dealt with a first-generation, overbearing mom. While Die can be enjoyed by everyone who’s mom’s love was both stifling and comforting, folks with Greek heritage will start to look around their houses for cameras and recording equipment. It’s as if writer/director/Despina actress Rachel Suissa plucked scenes wholesale from our brains and put them on screen.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning”!

Y’all. Tom Cruise. Tom. Freaking. Cruise. I firmly believe that he only exists to remind me that I’m doing absolutely nothing with my life. But wanna go see him totally own a whole bunch of stunts anyway? YEAH YOU DO. Synopsis!

Our lives are the sum of our choices. Tom Cruise is Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning.

Well. That’s all they’re giving us? Okie dokie. Let’s go!

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