Atomic Fangirl

“You’re disgusting. I like that in a person.”

Story: The quiet town of Castle Rock (ahem) gets a new store; Needful Things, an antique store/curiosity shop run by an eccentric older gentleman named Leland Gaunt. Seems this place has everything, and the prices aren’t that bad. Just a small favor. A prank, really…

Scares: A few bits, but mostly suspense.
Splat Factor:  This was originally a TBS miniseries, so no, not much.

Subgenre: Miniseries That Are Slashed To Bits Into Multiplex Format
Year Released: 1993
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the Stephen King book of the same name.

Trick or Treat?: “Needful Things” is one of those King stories that doesn’t get talked about nearly enough as it deserves. It’s “the last Castle Rock story”, and a fitting farewell (kinda) to the town we all got to know over the decades. But by turning the original miniseries adaptation into a feature film, director Fraser C. Heston (yes, Charlton Heston’s son) does a disservice to the story, and the miniseries itself.

“Who the hell deadbolts their front door? This is a good neighborhood!”

Story: Mickey talks his girlfriend Jules into “one more score”, but forgets to fill the gas tank of their getaway car. But they found a gorgeous house; the owners have to have a car, right? Well, they’ve got a more than that. And the owners want to keep exactly what they’ve got a secret. From everybody.

Scares: None.
Splat Factor:  People get shot. A tongue ring gets removed the hard way, but all you see is the blood.

Subgenre: Break-in Predicament Horror Comedies
Year Released: 2019
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Boringly original.

Trick or Treat?: Looking at the poster for this film, I figured it’d be a cool subversive horror, or a throwaway one. Sadly, it’s the latter. Villains is the worst thing a horror movie can be; uninteresting.

“So, what are you guys doing out here anyway? I mean, this is kinda out in the middle of nowhere.”

Story: The Collingwood family – John, Emma, and daughter Mari – head up to their lake house for some r&r. But instead of hanging out with the ‘rents, Mari meets up with townie friend Paige. But the two girls get a whole lot more than they bargained for when a hangout with a boy they just met turns into meeting his family. His very violent family. Meanwhile, John and Emma are kicking back at the house, when a storm breaks. Knock knock, who’s there? Trouble. But for who?

Scares: Horrifying rather than terrifying at first, then comes…
Splat Factor: …the gross out.

Subgenre: Grindhouse Remakes
Year Released: 2009
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Remake of 1972’s The Last House on the Left

Trick or Treat?: The OG The Last House on the Left is infamous for it’s over the top horrific sequences of violence. It was thought of as one of those Can’t Make This Nowadays films. But as the aughts were big into the “torture pørn” subgenre, a remake of this chiller seemed tailor made. And while grindhouse purists may turn their noses up at this new take, it’s got a lot to recommend.

“You know something, Ricks? I don’t think I care too much for this podunk town anymore.”

Story: Every year on Halloween, the yutes of a small rural town go on a “Halloween Run”. There’s a legend of “Sawtooth Jack”, a local boogeyman who tries to get to the town’s church before midnight. The Run? Well, the boys must stop Jack at all costs. All costs. Did I mention the winner of the Run gets a special prize? After all participants have been locked in their rooms for three days, without food. That’s not weird at all. On your mark…

Scares: An overall sense of dread. This film’s more about the red stuff, though wandering through cornfields at night can be darn spooky.
Splat Factor: Teens get slaughtered big-time. Mostly in wide shots, but we’re talking bodies ripped apart, and geysers of the red stuff.

Subgenre: Small Town Fall Folk Horror
Year Released: 2023
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the book of the same name by Norman Partridge.

Trick or Treat?: Harvest deserves a lot more eyes on it. Heck, the book deserves more love as well, but I didn’t even realize this film had released last October. I knew it was on the schedule for 2023, but then I lost track. Shame on you, marketing people. Because this one’s a blast that’s perfect for the season.