Why I won’t be watching House of Cards on Netflix.

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(Photo: House of Cards)

Dear Netflix Honchos,

I’ve been reading about how your House of Cards production company has been strong-arming the Maryland General Assembly, asking for millions of dollars in tax incentives to shoot in Maryland. Or y’all will take your ball and go home.

Really? How very…um…asshole-y of you. I don’t know if you realize, but my state is teetering on a budget precipice, trying to make ends meet. Or perhaps you know but don’t give a rosy red. As of Monday, the increase was dead, but MD legislators pulled a fast one and moved the money you demanded out of the NON-PROFIT ARTS FUND. Like a loan shark, you demand or else, and the self-serving toadies acquiesced. But what happens when local artists find themselves without funding, just so y’all can stay here? You’re not going to help us with that, are you? Didn’t think so.

Apparently Kevin Spacey was lobbying in Annapolis this week, hoping for votes to approve the increase. So basically, he’s saying screw Maryland artists, hooray for Hollywood! Mr. Spacey, may I suggest an alternative; if you’re so gung-ho for more House of Cards money, why not pay it out of your own pocket? Problem solved!

I say that if Hollywood wants location shots – whether they’re in Baltimore, Washington DC or Hollywood, Florida – they shouldn’t balk at the price, instead of leaning on local governments to bend to your will at the expense of local programs and taxpayers. “But we bring money!” you cry! Sure you do. But the local Maryland arts scene brings more money to the state than you do.

You get what you pay for people. And you know y’all have the money. You just think you’re entitled to use someone else’s.

Love,

AF

PS: your show is a downer. Couldn’t get past episode 4 of season 1. All the fine acting in the world doesn’t make up for that. All the fanfare surrounding your show feels like so much DC Metro & Hollywood bandwagoning.

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17 Signs It’s a Marvel Studios Movie

Oh Entertainment Weekly. You take a Buzzfeed-esque bit and turn it into genius. Read this y’all. For it’s the truth.

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Free ONLINE screening: The Great Mystery

Image: PRNewsFoto/Catherine Corona

Image: PRNewsFoto/Catherine Corona

And you thought April 15h was just a sucky day to stand in line at the post office.  Nup!  It’s also the start of a free screening, one that’s online.  No codes.  No limits.  Everyone can watch!  Because sharing.  Huzzah!  And it sounds like a really interesting subject, so you know I’ll be tuning in. Hey, it’s going to be streaming for free for a whole freakin’ month, so why not?

I’m betting The Great Mystery is hoping for great word-of-mouth from this, and if it’s an open-minded look at Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism and Hinduism?  I’m totally on board with buzzing this flick.  The Great Mystery has already lassoed a few awards, so I’m hopeful, and kinda psyched.  And, it’s an excuse to eat a ton of black jelly beans, because that’s how Easter is meant to be celebrated y’all.  Mmm, licorice….

Read on for the full deets from the PR Folks Of Love after the jump!

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Wanna see Jon Hamm in Million Dollar Arm? Free Baltimore screening passes!

MDA poster

Digging the final season of Mad Men?  Of course.  Wanna see more of Jon Hamm, in a film that’s slated for a May 16th release date but is getting crazy good buzz already?  Then check out Million Dollar Arm.  Baseball, cricket, Life Lessons Learned ™, and more….

Here’s the info from Disney: 

1 NEW Official Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures Logo

Based on a true story, sports agent JB Bernstein (Jon Hamm) finds that business has changed and things aren’t going well for his career. In a last ditch effort to save his livelihood he concocts a scheme to find baseball’s next great pitching ace. Hoping to find a young cricket pitcher he can turn into a major league baseball star, JB travels to India to produce a reality show competition called “The Million Dollar Arm.” With the help of cantankerous but eagle-eyed retired baseball scout Ray Poitevint (Alan Arkin), he discovers Dinesh (played by Madhur Mittal from “Slumdog Millionaire”) and Rinku (played by Suraj Sharma from “Life of Pi”), two 18 year old boys who have no idea about playing baseball, yet have a knack for throwing a fastball. Hoping to sign them to major league contracts and make a quick buck, JB brings the boys home to America to train. While the Americans are definitely out of their element in India — the boys, who have never left their rural villages — are equally challenged when they come to the States. As the boys learn the finer points of baseball — JB, with the help of his charming friend Brenda (Lake Bell) — learns valuable life lessons about teamwork, commitment and what it means to be a family.

Website and Mobile Site:        www.Disney.com/MillionDollarArm

Like us on Facebook:               www.facebook.com/MillionDollarArm

Follow us on Twitter:              @DisneyPictures

 

And here’s how to snag yourself a pass….

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Movie Review — Captain America: The Winter Soldier

CAP-TWS poster sm Comic book movies are really picking up steam, but not every pulp story is worth it’s weight in celluloid.  Captain America: The Winter Soldier – definitely one of the good ones.  Not only does Winter Soldier kick all sorts of ass, it’s raising the bar for TV’s Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Things are getting good all over the Marvel universe, and you’re gonna want to hang with Cap to check out all the awesome.

When we last saw Cap, he was eating schwarma.  (Remember: his cameo in Thor: Dark World was actually Loki poking fun at the all-American guy, and not the Avenger himself.)  Now he’s in DC, doing the low-key Steve Rodgers thing. Oh, he’s still the super-strong dude we all know and love (and still played by the buff and adorable Chris Evans), but he’s taking it easy, catching up on American pop culture — his to-do list is an absolute hoot — and running circles around poor agent Sam Wilson (Anthony Mackie, The Hurt Locker).  Oh, don’t feel too bad for Sam; he’s got something up his sleeve.  Er, on his back.  Okay fine; he’s Falcon, and this movie introduces this character in an action-packed way.  Not that they could have done anything less, as the entire film is a crazy-cool ride that lets up just enough to give viewers a reason to care about these characters, but never once lets the adrenaline dip.

Enough of my own exposition, back to the story.  Cap is joined by Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) to help a S.H.I.E.L.D. member that has been captured by no-goodniks.  But things go from bad to worse, and Cap and Black Widow find themselves in a situation where they don’t know who to trust.  Oh, and there’s an incredibly powerful assassin called The Winter Soldier that has popped up, and he seems unstoppable.  Sounding pretty vague?  Can’t help it; things get revealed in Winter Soldier that are so spoiler-y that I can’t in good conscience ruin ‘em for you.  But I can say that they’re real, and they’re spectacular.

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Brick Mansions pics look promising….

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As Brick Mansions — Paul Walker’s second-to-last film — makes it’s way to theaters, stills from the film hit my inbox.  So of course I share.  Loving the parkour vibe of these stills, though I know I’ll be in The Sad Place seeing Walker in a role that could have been a real breakout for the star.

Here’s the synopsis of the film:

In a dystopian Detroit, abandoned brick mansions left from better times now house only the most dangerous criminals. Unable to control the crime, the police constructed a colossal containment wall around this area to protect the rest of the city. Undercover cop Damien Collier is determined to bring his father’s killer Tremaine to justice and every day is a battle against corruption. For Lino, every day is a fight to live an honest life. Their paths never should have crossed, but when Tremaine kidnaps Lino’s girlfriend, Damien reluctantly accepts the help of the fearless ex-convict, and together they must stop a sinister plot to devastate the entire city.

It’s also starring David Belle and RZA.  Brick Mansions opens April 25th.  Check out these action shots ’til then.

 

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Lookit Awesome Con’s floorplan: scope your panels now!

Image: Awesome Con

Image: Awesome Con

Awesome Con is totally living up to it’s name this year.  Billie “Rose” Piper!  Carey “Wesley” Elwes!  Sean “Samwise” Astin!  Jewel “Kaylee” Staite!  Melissa “Carol” McBride!  Steve Niles!  COUNT GORE DE VOL!  And that’s just the beginning y’all.

Peep the layout, check out the panels, (me?  I’m all about “Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse 101” and “The Rise of the Anthology”) and then get your arse to the Con!  This one looks like it’s worth the trip to DC….

(It’s Easter weekend, April 18-20th.  Yeah, you can go Friday.  Yes, yes you can.)

Read on for their latest press distro, including a list o’ stars!

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Wanna go to Rio…2? Free Baltimore screening!

rio2

When mah bebbe smiles at me…I think of blue parrots and the funtimes from Rio.  What?  It was a fun movie, and Blu, the blue macaw that heads down to Rio for twu wuv, was hilarious.  So why not do it again, right?

Here’s the synopsis for Rio 2, courtesy of our lovely and talented PR peeps:

It’s a jungle out there for Blu, Jewel and their three kids in RIO 2, after they’re hurtled from that magical city to the wilds of the Amazon. As Blu tries to fit in, he goes beak-to-beak with the vengeful Nigel, and meets the most fearsome adversary of all – his father-in-law.  All our favorite RIO characters are back, and they’re joined by Oscar® nominee Andy Garcia, Grammy® winner Bruno Mars, Tony® winner Kristin Chenoweth and Oscar/Emmy®/Tony winner Rita Moreno.  RIO 2 also features new Brazilian artists and original music by Janelle Monae and Wondaland.

So yeah, you want passes, right?  Here’s how…y’know, after the jump.

 

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Scholastic book favorites get with the audiobook thing. Thanks, AudiobooksNow!

AUDIOBOOKSNOW LOGO

AUDIOBOOKSNOW SCHOLASTIC LOGO

Source: AudiobooksNow

Nice catch, AudiobooksNow.  Harry Potter, Katniss Everdeen and Clifford the Big Red Dog are awesome, but I’m looking forward to Rhyme & Reason from The Phantom Tollbooth and Paddington Bear.

Read all about the new way you can get your elementary school book favorites into your brainpan after the jump….

 

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One word hints at The Walking Dead season 5….

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Photo: AMC

And that word’s a doozy. Check out the new teaser poster for next season’s The Walking Dead.

I shudder with anticipation. And because it’s bound to be a helluva ride.

Did you catch the season four finale? Are you psyched for next season already (raises hand). Are you just hoping for Daryl & Carol scenes? Do tell. Seriously, tell me. I’m as antsy for the next season as you are.

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