“I can fix her.”
Story: Charlie Cannon has a pretty good life. He’s a journalist stationed in Cairo, soon to become a news anchor in NYC. But when his oldest child Katie is kidnapped, things fall apart. They get even worse when she’s found. Because Katie isn’t alone in her body. I’m sure things will be fine.
Scares: Of the jump variety.
Splat Factor: Some actually quite good gore FX.
Subgenre: Possession Horror With Sarcopgagus Icing
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Supposedly based on the Universal Mummy franchise of films. I’d say it’s also based on Egyptian history and mythology, but that’d be an insult to Egypt.
Trick or Treat?: Less mummy and more demon possession, Mummy is just as disappointing as the Tom Cruise reboot. At least this one’s got the genre right. At least.
I truly suffered through this tedious slog of a film. The only reason I’m including it in this year’s 31in31 is because I want that time I spent to mean something. Anything. At over two hours, Mummy drags on relentlessly. Every scene feels like it’s been stretched like taffy in the hope of hitting that “prestige horror” run time. But it’s not prestige unless it’s actually worth watching.
Writer/director Cronin makes Mummy look incredible though. There’s a shadowy creepiness that harks back to his Evil Dead Rise. The gore and special FX are done well, and the crispness of the cinematography makes sure you don’t miss a thing. Unlike Rise, the characters here are vague sketches; the hopeful mom, the distant dad, the siblings who are just there, the religious gran, and the possessed one. And this kills any potential for an interesting film.
My biggest beef? These are some of the stupidest parents alive. With the severity of Katie’s problems, no hospitals? Not even a trip to the ER when she violently hurts herself, or licks embalming fluid off the floor? My suspension of disbelief was completely beaten to death with these two.
Skip this uninspired mash-up of Poltergeist and the Evil Dead films, or watch it while you’re doing something else. That’ll help make the time pass quicker.
Score: 1 out of 5 pumpkins. I should probably give it two, one for the FX and one for Natalie Grace’s performance as Katie. But I’m disappointed – and kinda pissed – at how brain numbingly meh this is. One is all it gets.
