Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “How to Train Your Dragon”!

Who doesn’t love Toothless? Y’all, this is the one live action remake I’ve actually been stoked for. Synopsis!

On the rugged isle of Berk, where Vikings and dragons have been bitter enemies for generations, Hiccup (Mason Thames; The Black Phone, For All Mankind) stands apart. The inventive yet overlooked son of Chief Stoick the Vast (Gerard Butler, reprising his voice role from the animated franchise), Hiccup defies centuries of tradition when he befriends Toothless, a feared Night Fury dragon. Their unlikely bond reveals the true nature of dragons, challenging the very foundations of Viking society.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“The Old Lady With the Knife” – an intriguing story that could be sharper

“Watch who you hire.”

Story: Hornclaw, a “specialist” – think more Nobody, less The Pitt – has been doing her job for the past forty years. She’s the one every other killer has nightmares about, a true legend in her field. But sixty-five years are starting to weigh on her. She’s still at the top of her game, but everyone else thinks it’s time she’s out to pasture. So when brash young Bullfight joins her agency, he’s determined to take her down, thanks to the attachments she’s started to form with a young man and his family. Bullfight has obviously never watched an action movie in his life. Otherwise he’d know this is gonna be one tough matchup.

Genre I’d put it in: Heartstring-tugging Action Movies You Kinda Already Know
Release Date: 2025
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the novel of the same name by South Korean author Gu Byeong-mo.

Gotta say: I’m a sucker for action films. Throw in a little soapy drama, and you couldn’t keep me away. Knife has the same gritty realism you’ve come to expect from Korean actioners like Train to Busan, and The Gangster, the Cop, the Devil (what can I say – I’m a sucker for any film Ma Dong-seok is in), and Oldboy. Knife pays beautiful homage to the pantheon of action greats, but abrupt, often disjointed editing keeps this one from truly soaring to the heights it could have reached.

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In Queue Review – “Heart Eyes”

“We’re not a couple! We barely know each other! So back the fuck off!”

Genre: Horror Comedies That Wink At You In A Good Way
Release Date: 2025
Where I Watched: Netflix

Gist: Ally, a “pitch designer” (read: an in-house marketing maven) for a jewelry company, isn’t doing well. She’s still not over her BF dumping her, and her latest pitch is absolutely awesome going viral in the wrong way. So the CEO brings in a pitch hitter to develop a new campaign… And what do you know it’s Jay, the guy Ally just met-cuted at the coffee shop! Surely this means all will be well, and the Heart Eyes Killer’s yearly slaughterfest won’t be a problem, right? Oh, my sweet summer child. Your first horror-rom-com?

Gotta say: Damn this hit streaming fast. I love that. Mostly because I forgot it was hitting theaters…until it left theaters. But I’ve had this marked as a must watch ever since Netflix allowed me to hit Remind Me on this film. And Eyes was worth the wait. It’s a killer (I’ll be here all week) blend of romcom, slasher, and comedy that’ll please just about* everyone.

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The YouTubes – “‘Sinners’ and the General State of Things” from The Morbid Zoo

“[Remmick’s] claim is that he’ll give everyone the community they’re seeking without the pain. But that’s impossible, because blues is pain. Finding fellowship in suffering is the entire point of the genre. There is no blues without pain, and denying the importance of pain to the human condition cheapens any art you try to make.”

Damn. Zoo takes so much of today’s art to task by waxing poetic about what Sinners gets right. Her deep dive into the movie it’s themes and the importance of the music used in the film is incredible. Her look at vampirism in the film and it’s parallels stagnation of art is something that made me say “oh my God you’re so right ‘several times during this video essay. That stagnation has been all too prevalent; looking at you, big-time movie and music studios.

Check this one out. But y’know, after you’ve seen Sinners. (Though I don’t know if there’s any movie lover who hadn’t seen this movie yet.)

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Baltimore NOW PLAYING Ticket Code-palooza: “Shadow Force”!

Want to hit the multiplex but don’t want to shell out? I hear ya. So why not enter for a chance at two tickets for Shadow Force? Synopsis!

In SHADOW FORCE, Kyrah (Washington) and Isaac (Sy) were once the leaders of a multinational special forces group called Shadow Force. They broke the rules by falling in love, and in order to protect their son, they go underground. With a large bounty on their heads, and the vengeful Shadow Force hot on their trail, one family’s fight becomes all-out war.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“Greek Mothers Never Die”

“How could I not love her? She’s my mother. But she’s Greek…”

Story: Ella has spent all of her 26 years close to her overprotective mother Despina. But when Despina suddenly passes away? Ella is at a loss…until her mom returns from the grave to be a neurotic angel on her shoulder. Just in time to give unsolicited advice – and be the third wheel – during Ella’s reunion with her childhood BFF, Nick. Opa?

Genre I’d put it in: Comedies That Could Be Horror Stories For My Family
Release Date: 2025 (Video On-Demand beginning 5/9/2025)
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, but if you have any Greek relatives? You’ll be hearing the choppers.

Gotta say: Oh, my Greek people. This isn’t a movie. It’s a PSYOP for anyone who’s dealt with a first-generation, overbearing mom. While Die can be enjoyed by everyone who’s mom’s love was both stifling and comforting, folks with Greek heritage will start to look around their houses for cameras and recording equipment. It’s as if writer/director/Despina actress Rachel Suissa plucked scenes wholesale from our brains and put them on screen.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning”!

Y’all. Tom Cruise. Tom. Freaking. Cruise. I firmly believe that he only exists to remind me that I’m doing absolutely nothing with my life. But wanna go see him totally own a whole bunch of stunts anyway? YEAH YOU DO. Synopsis!

Our lives are the sum of our choices. Tom Cruise is Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning.

Well. That’s all they’re giving us? Okie dokie. Let’s go!

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“Fight or Flight” – a fun ride on the unfriendly skies

“Oh YEEEEEAH.”

Story: Lucas Reyes has had a rough couple of years. On the run for botching a protection gig, he’s given one last chance to clear his name. All he’s gotta do is find the BlackCat terrorist “Ghost” on a flight to San Francisco and bring him in. Two things. One? Nobody knows what Ghost looks like. Two? A leak on the Dark Web means every mercenary is out to grab Ghost – and a 10 million bounty – before the plane touches down. The real bad news? He’s starting to sober up…

Genre I’d put it in: Bonkers Action Films
Release Date: 2025
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, but you’ll note homages to many different subgenres along the way

Gotta say: I could be quippy and say that this Flight is Air Force One meets Drunken Master. But that’s not enough to encapsulate the wild and crazy ride this movie will take you on. Director James Madigan takes from a whole lot of movie genres, and hits frappé, blending them all into a concoction that goes down smooth, even while it jolts you with a straight shot of pure energy.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Another Simple Favor”!

Ready to see what’s going on with Emily and Stephanie now? Synopsis!

In this follow up to A SIMPLE FAVOR (2018), you can expect even more murder and betrayal as Stephanie Smothers (Anna Kendrick) and Emily Nelson (Blake Lively) reunite on the beautiful island of Capri, Italy, for Emily’s extravagant wedding to a rich Italian businessman.

Ready? Let’s go!

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28 YEARS LATER – New Trailer

With the island setting in several shots, Years has big “Crossed: Wish You Were Here” vibes. Though I’m sure it’ll detour several times before this particular story is through. Can’t wait to see how.

I was going to stay up til 3am and catch this trailer drop the second it came out. But then I remembered I’m lazy as hell. This one was worth the wait, though. Lots of snippets of the new world post-Infected, and a few shots that have me yearning for more. Which is exactly how it should be.

28 Years Later hits theaters June 20th, 2025.

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