31 in 31: Antisocial

Posted on October 14, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logo
antisocialStory: Hey, New Year’s Eve party at my place y’all!  Isn’t it fantastic to be on Winter Break — college ruuuuuuulz!  What’s that stupid stuff on TV about locking your doors?  And why are people freaking out on Facebook Social Redroom?  Wait, why is your nose bleeding?  Can you hear me?  Why are you… Aaaaaah!

Scares: Zero if you’ve ever seen a zombie show ever in your life.  But there are a few fun scenes of Coming To Get You Barbara that may freak out the noobs.

Splat factor: Lots of bloody noses.  Lots of on-Skype blood, which looks blue.  But the climax is suitably gory, though not for the reason you’d expect.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Of course.  This film deals with college kids and social media; of course they’re gonna throw in an eye-rolling “twist”.  No, in fact you didn’t get me.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though the zombie/social media madness/violence sickness thing has been done to death elsewhere in various forms.

Trick or Treat?: At first, I was hopeful.  Using social media like Millennials would actually use it!  Said folks practically glued to their screens, forsaking all others!  Then I realized that the entire film is about how social media use can turn people into raving, violent loonies.  See? Facebook is dangerous! It’s bad for you! Said all parents of Millennial Facebook addicts, while striking the usual older & wiser self-righteous pose. See, social networking makes you Antisocial? Get it? *crickets*

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31 in 31: [Rec]

Posted on October 13, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logo

Rec posterStory: Hey there!  I’m a reporter covering a 24-hour beat with the fire department who came to check up on a disturbance in your apartment complex.  So your dog is at the vet because it’s sick?  And that crazy lady upstairs has a weird rabies-like illness? Hmm. Oh well. I’m sure there’s no…hey wait, why are the cops quarantining our building? And did someone just say that crazy lady just bit one of the firemen? We’re screwed.

Scares: Just enough. Genuine chills even if it’s the jump atcha variety. Well done.

Splat factor: Believable gore, and like the scares, just enough of it to really get the zombie-esque infection teeth. (Get it?) Since this is a zombie/”infected” film, lightweights should know that “just enough” means “not dripping off the camera lens”.

Closing scene “shocker”?: If you’ve seen the film Quarantine, which is based on this film, you know what’s coming.  But even so, the ending? You know exactly what the survivors are gonna find, but it’s still eerie as hell.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: The original. This is the first of the [Rec] series, and  as per the point above, it’s what the Quarantine series here in the States is based on.

Trick or Treat?: Zombies! Oh wait, maybe they’re infected? Posessed? Who cares! [Rec] is a blast, from the stupid people doing stupid things that get them killed, to the crazy conspiracy-theory-lovers quarantine of an entire building By Any Means Necessary.  There’s even a shout-out to the usual human response of run like hell if threatened.  Hey look; these Spanish characters don’t give a shit that the infection the government is trying to contain is crazy communicable. Must leave noooooow, who cares if we’re disease vectors? Just like Americans! Kumbaya!

This is obviously the film Quarantine was based on; several scenes are eerily similar,right down to the final shot. However, [Rec] is much better. There’s an eerie, ever-present sense of dread, and creepy but believable infected.

The film ditches it’s chemical infection for a supernatural cause at the end, but there’s still plenty of spooky. And gotta say, the idea of a demonic virus? Kind of an interesting spin on the usual zombies. The “rec” in the title of course means that this is a found-footage film, though it’s got a decent way of keeping the cameraman character filming without making it feel like a fakeout.

Onto [REC]2!

 

Score:wpid-pumpkin9.jpg wpid-pumpkin9.jpgwpid-pumpkin9.jpgwpid-pumpkin9.jpgpumpkin_half

4.5 out of 5 pumpkins.  Half a pumpkin off because the demon stuff felt a little tacked on. What?

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31 in 31: Carrie (2013)

Posted on October 12, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logocarrie 2013

Story: Quiet girl, shunned by her peers. Religious freak mom. When the girl’s first period hits, bullying hits 11. Another girl gets the guilts, tells her own boyfriend to take poor Carrie to the prom. And if you need to know what happens next, you haven’t been paying attention to pop culture for the past several decades.

Scares: Even though this story is pretty much tattooed on my brain, there were a few. Mostly thanks to Juliana Moore’s brilliant performance as Mrs. White.

Splat factor: Not too much, which is funny considering the prom throwdown. It almost feels like a PG-13.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Of course. But not the one you’re expecting.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: A remake of the 1976 Brian De Palma/Sissy Spacek classic, which was itself an adaptation of Stephen King’s 1974 novel.

Trick or Treat?: This story always breaks my heart. Poor ignorant Carrie White, so out of the human loop. And I ask the same thing over and over – where are the adults to help? (Yeah I get that this story focuses on the cruelty of kids, but still.)  In this Carrie there are more grown-ups, both ones that help and some that are just like teens in their heartless behavior.  The true standout among the adults is Juliette Moore as Mrs. White, Carrie’s insanely religious mother.  With scenes that focus on Mrs. White — including a prologue that shows how Carrie was born — Moore brings out a touch of sympathy and a whole lot of creepy chills to the character most horror fans think they already know.

This remake is actually pretty good, and the added scenes that focus on characters like popular girl Sue Snell and sympathetic P.E. teacher Ms. Desjardin give a better understanding of what was going on around Carrie.  Art direction here, with it’s small touches — sewing machine with fabric to show they make their own clothes, crosses tucked away here and there in the White house — flesh out the backstory nicely without overuse of exposition.  There’s also great Mrs. White “what she sees because she’s nuts” POV shots.

The glaring problem with Carrie is it’s ending.  There’s no need to tweak the ending, yet Pierce attempts to put her own stamp on this well-known scene, and it falls flat.  In fact, it not only shits on the original film and novel, but undoes all the anti-bullying, be-good-to-people feels that came before, not to mention the cheezy FX and music that’s crazy inappropriate for the scene. It’s such a clusterfuck of fail that I’d like to own a digital copy just so I can edit out and delete the last 3 minutes.  Doing that would leave a much better film in it’s place.

Score: pumpkinpumpkinpumpkin

3 out of 5 pumpkins. It got docked a full pumpkin thanks to the no good, very bad, extremely horrible “shock” ending. Don’t shit on the classics, Kimberly Pierce.

 

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: The Best of Me

Posted on October 11, 2014 by Denise

The_Best_of_Me_Fin1_W17_theater_crop.jpg_cmykHey there!  Happy weekend!  Let’s make this short & sweet, ‘kay?

The Best of Me.  I’ve put up a few posts about this film, and now it’s time to check it out.  Want to?  In case you’ve forgotten, here’s the synopsis:

Based on the bestselling novel by acclaimed author Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me tells the story of Dawson and Amanda, two former high school sweethearts who find themselves reunited after 20 years apart, when they return to their small town for the funeral of the beloved friend.  Their bittersweet reunion reignites the love they’ve never forgotten, but soon they discover the forces that drove them apart twenty years ago live on, posing even more serious threats today. Spanning decades, this epic love story captures the enduring power of our first true love, and the wrenching choices we face when confronted with elusive second chances.

Read on…

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31 in 31: They (2002)

Posted on October 11, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logot
image
Story: A little boy has night terrors, convinced “they” are out to get him. And then they do. All grown up — and apparently alive after that attack — he tries to warn childhood friend Julia, someone who also dealt with night terrors. Seems there are things out there that come after people who have these terrors. But will she believe him? Of course she won’t. Until They come after her….

Scares: There are several fun spooky moments, but the overall plot is a dull mess of Nightmare on Elm Street and Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.  Emphasis on mess.

Splat factor: Zero. This movie may have monsters that want to eat you, but they’re not messy (irony!) And they eat off-camera.

Closing scene “shocker”: It’s not unexpected, but it still qualifies as a gotcha.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): The boogeyman tropes are old, but the film is original.

Trick or Treat?: A great start, hazy iffy middle, and tons of boring scenes before the typical crazy hyper climax. In other words, the usual Craven storyboard. What sets it apart are scenes filled with genuine shocks and creepy craziness.  Sadly, even the well-done creep doesn’t set They too far apart from Craven’s new millennium of barely average films.

The opening scene was great, in an “I remember being scared like that” kinda way. Well, maybe not exactly like that, but still, the little kid scaries are all present and accounted for: spooky closet, fears of what’s under the bed, flashlights that can save the world, etc. Craven pulls these out of childhood and into Real Life, with brilliant results. When the lights dim, things get really creepy; these particular scenes are some of the best Craven has done in quite a while.

However, great spooky scenes can’t save a film that doesn’t believe in its own story. I checked the film’s Wikipedia page 39 minutes in, after all anyone could say was either “they’re coming” or “I don’t believe you”. Yawn. Then there’s Julia, who has seen what happens to others, who knows how this whole thing works…and still does stupid stuff. All I could do is shrug after awhile.

If you’re lucky enough to get your hands on the Japanese DVD, there are scenes that help the flow of the film but were cut from the American release (probably because I don’t know why). There’s also an alternate ending that would have really put some oomph into the story, but it’s only available on the Blu-ray version.  It’s a pity that the crazy-cool scares are saddled with so much flat-out crazy.  I’d say that the story is incoherent, but it’s actually quite simple:

they_victim_flowsheet

And that’s all there is to this story. Sadly.

If you’re down for trying to watch the creepy and don’t mind FF-ing through the yawns, enjoy. Otherwise, re-watch Freddy. At least he knows what he’s doing.

Score: wpid-pumpkin9.jpg wpid-pumpkin9.jpg

2 out of 5 pumpkins.

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31 in 31: The Returned

Posted on October 10, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logo
the returned onesheetStory: a zombie outbreak spreads around the world!  And then a second wave hits!  But the “Returned Protein” gives people hope.  Obtained from the spinal fluid of deceased returned, it’s a way to hold the zombifying disease at bay. But as the infected who are able to be treated increase, the serum starts to become harder and harder to come by.  And there are so many “Returned”….

Scares: not too many.  This is more of a thriller with a horrific backdrop than a flat-out horror film, regardless of the awesome poster.  That said, there are more than a few super-tense spots for adrenaline junkies.

Splat Factor: a few bits of gore and blood here and there.  Just enough to remind viewers that the infected do become zombies.  FYI, yada yada.

Closing scene “shocker”: more of a semi-surprise, but no silly “hah, gotcha!” moments.  Thank god.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): totally unique.

Trick or Treat: An excellent story that uses the idea of “at bay” zombie-infected people as an AIDS/health scare allegory.  But The Returned is a damn good allegory, with a lot of touching scenes between the lead — a doctor who researches the disease — and her boyfriend, who happens to be Returned.

Don’t get me wrong, I was disappointed at first.  Then I began to think of this as a piece that uses zombies to look at human nature rather than human intestines. And I started to dig it.  Excellent performances by Emily Hampshire as Doc Kate and Kris Holden-Ried as boyfriend Alex don’t hurt either.  Since this is a Spanish/Canadian production most of the folks here you won’t know, but isn’t that the way with horror flicks?  One exception; Shawn Doyle from Big Love plays Alex’s BFF, who is rich as all heck and may provide a way for Alex and Kate to brave the unbrave new world.

The ending was fantastic, and I won’t use any other descriptives for fear of spoilerage.  Yeah, it’s not a scary-boo horror film, but it’s a helluva good story nonetheless.  Seek it out.

Score: pumpkinpumpkinpumpkinpumpkin

4 out of 5 pumpkins.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Fury

Posted on October 9, 2014 by Denise

Fury-2014-Movie-PosterGrr.  Arrrgh.  That’s about as furious as I get right now.  But that doesn’t mean Brad Pitt ain’t ticked off — check him out in the trailer for the WWII drama Fury!

Here’s the synopsis, for folks who need a little more 411:

April, 1945.  As the Allies make their final push in the European Theatre, a battle-hardened army sergeant named Wardaddy (Brad Pitt) commands a Sherman tank and her five-man crew on a deadly mission behind enemy lines.  Outnumbered and outgunned, and with a rookie soldier thrust into their platoon, Wardaddy and his men face overwhelming odds in their heroic attempts to strike at the heart of Nazi Germany.

Fury stars Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf, Logan Lerman, Michael Peña, Jon Bernthal, Jason “Lucius Malfoy” Isaacs, and Scott Eastwood.  And yes, Scott is the son of that Eastwood.  Want tickets?  Well, here’s how….

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31 in 31: Return to Horror High

Posted on October 9, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logoreturn to horror high Story:  In 1982, a bunch of high school kids got killed.  Flash forward a handful of years, and a film crew head to the high school where those murders took place, and try to film a movie.  One by one, the cast and crew get picked off.  Or maybe it’s just part of the movie?  Or maybe it’s a flashback?  Aw dammit, who can tell with this one. There’s not enough peyote in the world that would help anyone understand this story.

Scares: Maybe one, if you get a good look at George Clooney’s bouffant hairdo. (This is his first film.  Everybody’s gotta start somewhere.) But otherwise you’ll either see a death coming a mile away, or you’ll be so deadened by strange present/past/movie set/dream sequences that nothing would shock you.

Splat factor: Tons of the red stuff when there’s a killing, or when there’s a “present day” scene with bodies on the ground.  But the blood looks fake — check out how Maureen McCormick’s Officer Tyler.  Her chest isn’t covered in stuff that looks like blood, it’s dyed red from the food coloring.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Um. Well. Uh. I guess you could call it a shocker. More like a totally expected twist that made me shrug.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though as this is a satire it’s got tons of shout outs to the usual cliches.

Trick or Treat?: A satire rather than a horror movie, Return to Horror High is a typical low-budget late 80s clunker that only got popular once the world realized that George Clooney is hot.  It was filmed in 1987, but the movie feels like a throwback to the 70s.  Maureen McCormick! Philip McKeon! It’s 70s-tastic up in here! And the FX is just as retro, but without the cool factor.  Guess there’s very little you can do with $15.95 and a gum wrapper.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: The Book of Life

Posted on October 8, 2014 by Denise

book of life

October!  Halloween!  And then,  Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead!  So come on out to The Book of Life, a gorgeous animated fantasy that was originally titled Day of the Dead.  Probably not a great title for parents who aren’t in the know about this Mexican holiday and think it’s a zombie flick.  (I’d have loved that title though.)

Wanna know more about the film?  Check out the trailer!

Here’s the synopsis:

Director Jorge Gutierrez will take you through the vibrant fantasy-adventure of the legend of Manolo, a conflicted hero and dreamer who sets off on an epic quest through magical, mythical and wondrous worlds in order to rescue his one true love and defend his village.

Starring Channing Tatum, Zoë Saldana, Diego Luna, Christina Applegate, Ice Cube, Placido Domingo, Kate del Castillo, Hector Elizondo, Cheech Marin, Ron Perlman, Danny Trejo, Ana de la Reguera, Eugenio Derbez, Gabriel Iglesias and Ricardo “El Mandril” Sanchez,  THE BOOK OF LIFE opens in theaters on October 17th.

From producer Guillermo del Toro and director Jorge Gutierrez comes an animated comedy with a unique visual style. THE BOOK OF LIFE encourages us to celebrate the past while looking forward to the future.

Website: www.BookofLifeMovie.com

Facebook: www.fb.com/BookofLifeMovie

Twitter: www.twitter.com/BookofLifeMovie

Instagram: www.instagram.com/BookofLifeMovie

Tumblr:      www.BookofLifeMovie.tumblr.com

Pinterest:    www.pinterest.com/BookofLifeMovie

Official Hashtag: #BookOfLife

Ready to grab yourself some passes? Read on…
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31 in 31: Cursed

Posted on October 8, 2014 by Denise

31 in 31 logo
cursedStory: Ellie has it all; a great job, a cute boyfriend, and a brother that keeps her grounded. But when she and her brother get in a car accident, things go from good to gross when they both get bit by a strange dog. Hey, that’s no dog!

Scares: Not really.

Splat factor: Not really.

Closing scene “shocker”?: There are a few climaxes toward the end of this film, but the final ending nails things down.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: It’s a Wes Craven original, though the werewolf has been around a while.

Trick or Treat?: Cursed was a film I was dying to go see when it was first announced. But then the delays started.  And I got worried.  A year later, and I finally got to see the finished product… and I was nonplussed.  Probably because with the Scream combination of Craven and Kevin Williamson, I was hoping for a real throwdown.  Instead?  I got a film that is horror in name only.  The cliches are here, the werewolf canon is here, everything is in place…except the scares.  It’s as if Williamson made a list of what he wanted to put in the screenplay, and then Craven said “cool — roll film!”

On a new viewing, I liked it better, but still was butthurt.  I should get over it, but I’m still majorly bummed about what could have been with this film.  Problems?  Let me show you them.

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