Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Fury

Fury-2014-Movie-PosterGrr.  Arrrgh.  That’s about as furious as I get right now.  But that doesn’t mean Brad Pitt ain’t ticked off — check him out in the trailer for the WWII drama Fury!

Here’s the synopsis, for folks who need a little more 411:

April, 1945.  As the Allies make their final push in the European Theatre, a battle-hardened army sergeant named Wardaddy (Brad Pitt) commands a Sherman tank and her five-man crew on a deadly mission behind enemy lines.  Outnumbered and outgunned, and with a rookie soldier thrust into their platoon, Wardaddy and his men face overwhelming odds in their heroic attempts to strike at the heart of Nazi Germany.

Fury stars Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf, Logan Lerman, Michael Peña, Jon Bernthal, Jason “Lucius Malfoy” Isaacs, and Scott Eastwood.  And yes, Scott is the son of that Eastwood.  Want tickets?  Well, here’s how….

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31 in 31: Return to Horror High

31 in 31 logoreturn to horror high Story:  In 1982, a bunch of high school kids got killed.  Flash forward a handful of years, and a film crew head to the high school where those murders took place, and try to film a movie.  One by one, the cast and crew get picked off.  Or maybe it’s just part of the movie?  Or maybe it’s a flashback?  Aw dammit, who can tell with this one. There’s not enough peyote in the world that would help anyone understand this story.

Scares: Maybe one, if you get a good look at George Clooney’s bouffant hairdo. (This is his first film.  Everybody’s gotta start somewhere.) But otherwise you’ll either see a death coming a mile away, or you’ll be so deadened by strange present/past/movie set/dream sequences that nothing would shock you.

Splat factor: Tons of the red stuff when there’s a killing, or when there’s a “present day” scene with bodies on the ground.  But the blood looks fake — check out how Maureen McCormick’s Officer Tyler.  Her chest isn’t covered in stuff that looks like blood, it’s dyed red from the food coloring.

Closing scene “shocker”?: Um. Well. Uh. I guess you could call it a shocker. More like a totally expected twist that made me shrug.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though as this is a satire it’s got tons of shout outs to the usual cliches.

Trick or Treat?: A satire rather than a horror movie, Return to Horror High is a typical low-budget late 80s clunker that only got popular once the world realized that George Clooney is hot.  It was filmed in 1987, but the movie feels like a throwback to the 70s.  Maureen McCormick! Philip McKeon! It’s 70s-tastic up in here! And the FX is just as retro, but without the cool factor.  Guess there’s very little you can do with $15.95 and a gum wrapper.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: The Book of Life

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October!  Halloween!  And then,  Dia de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead!  So come on out to The Book of Life, a gorgeous animated fantasy that was originally titled Day of the Dead.  Probably not a great title for parents who aren’t in the know about this Mexican holiday and think it’s a zombie flick.  (I’d have loved that title though.)

Wanna know more about the film?  Check out the trailer!

Here’s the synopsis:

Director Jorge Gutierrez will take you through the vibrant fantasy-adventure of the legend of Manolo, a conflicted hero and dreamer who sets off on an epic quest through magical, mythical and wondrous worlds in order to rescue his one true love and defend his village.

Starring Channing Tatum, Zoë Saldana, Diego Luna, Christina Applegate, Ice Cube, Placido Domingo, Kate del Castillo, Hector Elizondo, Cheech Marin, Ron Perlman, Danny Trejo, Ana de la Reguera, Eugenio Derbez, Gabriel Iglesias and Ricardo “El Mandril” Sanchez,  THE BOOK OF LIFE opens in theaters on October 17th.

From producer Guillermo del Toro and director Jorge Gutierrez comes an animated comedy with a unique visual style. THE BOOK OF LIFE encourages us to celebrate the past while looking forward to the future.

Website: www.BookofLifeMovie.com

Facebook: www.fb.com/BookofLifeMovie

Twitter: www.twitter.com/BookofLifeMovie

Instagram: www.instagram.com/BookofLifeMovie

Tumblr:      www.BookofLifeMovie.tumblr.com

Pinterest:    www.pinterest.com/BookofLifeMovie

Official Hashtag: #BookOfLife

Ready to grab yourself some passes? Read on…
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31 in 31: Cursed

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cursedStory: Ellie has it all; a great job, a cute boyfriend, and a brother that keeps her grounded. But when she and her brother get in a car accident, things go from good to gross when they both get bit by a strange dog. Hey, that’s no dog!

Scares: Not really.

Splat factor: Not really.

Closing scene “shocker”?: There are a few climaxes toward the end of this film, but the final ending nails things down.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: It’s a Wes Craven original, though the werewolf has been around a while.

Trick or Treat?: Cursed was a film I was dying to go see when it was first announced. But then the delays started.  And I got worried.  A year later, and I finally got to see the finished product… and I was nonplussed.  Probably because with the Scream combination of Craven and Kevin Williamson, I was hoping for a real throwdown.  Instead?  I got a film that is horror in name only.  The cliches are here, the werewolf canon is here, everything is in place…except the scares.  It’s as if Williamson made a list of what he wanted to put in the screenplay, and then Craven said “cool — roll film!”

On a new viewing, I liked it better, but still was butthurt.  I should get over it, but I’m still majorly bummed about what could have been with this film.  Problems?  Let me show you them.

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31 in 31: Manhunter

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It’s been awhile, but my love of the Hannibal TV series has me curious enough for a re-watch. Let’s see how this film holds up…

Story: A prequel story to The Silence of the Lambs (that came out before that blockbuster) that has detective Will Graham (CSI‘s William Petersen) coming out of retirement to track another serial killer. But he’ll need to ask for help from his most infamous catch; Dr. Hannibal “Lecktor”. Let the bloody games begin!

Scares: Maybe a few when it originally hit theaters, but now this feels like a movie-of-the-week procedural. Gripping and tautly thrilling at times, but not “boo!” scary.

Splat factor: strangely, not much at all. Maybe because Lecter “Lecktor” is behind bars?

Closing scene “shocker”: Nope. Roll credits!

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): The first film adaptation of Thomas Harris’ Red Dragon, aka “The Book Before Silence of the Lambs“.

Trick or Treat?: Horribly underrated when it first hit screens, this film has steadily picked up a following thanks to Silence, the Hannibal and CSI fanbase, and the ability to stream at will on Netflix. More a thriller than horror, it still picks up its fair share of genre fans who wanna be completists. They’re onto something.

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31 in 31: The People Under the Stairs

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Story: Poindexter, aka Fool, is about to lose his home, because he and his mom and sister Ruby are being evicted. But family friend Leroy (Ving Rhames) has an idea; why not just rob their landlords the Robesons? Leroy and his buddy Spencer found a map to a “treasure” hidden in the Robeson’s mansion. Only two problems: the Robesons are batshit crazy, and they’re not the only ones in their house….

Scares: The Robesons calling each other Mommy and Daddy. *shudder* Aside from that, this is more camp than horror. Whee!

Splat factor: Some here and there, when The People – or the Robesons – dispatch someone. Prince the dog eats a body part here and there, too.

Closing scene “shocker”: A tied-up with a bow kind of happy ending. At least for the good guys.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): Absolutely original.

Trick or Treat?: This is one of those late 20th century horror films that was terrifying when it opened, and has blossomed into a fun campy ride. How camp? On a scale from Schindler’s List to Mommy Dearest, this is one wire hanger away from full-tilt gonzo.

Fool is the only smart one of the thieves. Irony! But it’s also probably because all that bright-ass kente cloth Leroy is wearing may have dulled his senses (tip: earthy tones in kente are gorgeous. Close-to-neon are so 80s for a reason; they’re blinding.)

Roach (Sean Whalen), a boy-child that has escaped the basement and now roams in-between the walls, is a cool modern-day Renfield, and Whalen is still well known among genre fans for this role. (Caveat: I went to school with Sean. Though he’s awesome IRL, my school time friendship doesn’t play a part in my opinion. He really is great in this role.)  You know who else is great? Everett McGill (Silver Bullet) as Daddy, in all his whacked-out splendor. Running around in a gimp suit hunting Roach? No problem. Because that’s normal. Yippee!

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31 in 31: All Cheerleaders Die

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Story: Typical high school stuff; suburban cheerleader Alexis pretending to be G for friend Maddy’s school film. Totes annoying. Don’t worry though, Lex won’t be around for much…oh, that flyer stunt FUBAR had to have hurt. Oops.

Maddy becomes a cheerleader, just so she can get revenge. But things go boink after a car accident leaves four cheerleaders – including Maddy – dead. Maddy’s “Wiccan” ex-gf Leena brings them back from the dead, but there’s a catch. There’s always a catch.

Scares: More of the jumpy variety. Calling what Leena does “Wiccan” is the truly horrifying part of this story.

Splat factor: Scattered here and there. Makeup FX are extremely well done, but the succubi feeding scenes are straight from The Asylum’s Syfy mockbusters. Keep focused after the climax, for a seriously cool and gory entrance by a main character. Niiiiice.

Closing scene “shocker”: let’s just say that the end credits title splash is All Cheerleaders Die Part One….

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): Remake of Chris Sivertson and Lucky McGee’s original 2001 right-out-of-film-school film of the same name.

Trick or Treat?: Surprisingly watchable for a Netflix film that’s currently rockin’ a two star rating, but that doesn’t mean you won’t notice story bits coming a’tcha from a mile away. Video diary? I’m sure that’ll never come back to bite you in the ass, honey. One sister dates a guy that the other sister is in love with? Guess that undercover jealousy will bite them both in the ass. And poor old neighbor guy? Yeah, you’ll just be bitten in the ass.

The blood and life-energy combo that the girls need to stay at their best is a nice change from the usual zombie munch happening in the genre right now. So’s the crystal magic that brings them back, and the twists here and there that shake up the usual horror clichés. There’s humor here too, as the cast and crew all play it tongue firmly in cheek. Bad guy footballer Terry is a bit of an odd duck here though; majorly villainous and severe, his character seems out of place with the tone of the rest of the story. That dastardly dude really harshed my horror comedy mellow. But Maddy as the inadvertent heroine just about balanced him out.

The production is strictly low-budget, and the ending is a bit too abrupt, but All Cheerleaders Die is still a good time. I’m game for a sequel if it’s as cool as this. To quote the girls, bring it bitches.

Score: wpid-pumpkin9.jpgwpid-pumpkin9.jpgwpid-pumpkin9.jpg
3 out of 5 pumpkins.

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DRACULA UNTOLD images! Behold the son of the dragon!

Dracula-Untold-poster-2Y’know, I realize that it’s painfully obvious when I’m psyched for a film.  And yeah, I’m psyched for all things Drac.  Plus, Luke Evans was so super nice to us press peons when he came to B’more for The Raven.  So bonus points for Dracula Untold out of the gate.  An actor that truly enjoys what he does?  Nice!  Here’s the synopsis for Dracula Untold, for those who haven’t seen the trailer or have that rock-living thing down pat:

Facing threats to his kingdom and his family, Vlad Tepes looks to make a deal with dangerous supernatural forces – without succumbing to the darkness himself.

Oh, you know that’s not gonna end well.  The spin on Drac’s transformations look pretty sweet, as do the battles.  I’m a sucker for FX and battle choreography, what can I say?  So when these images hit my inbox, I downloaded ’em in a snap.  Enjoy!

Dracula Untold opens October 10th, 2014.

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31 in 31: Orca

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Story: The crew of the Bumpo are hunting great white sharks, hoping to sell one to an aquarium. But when a killer whale – an Orca – saves a diver for a certain shark death, they repay the species by trying to snag a whale. Oops, caught and accidentally killed a female orca from a bonded pair. The crew tries to move on, but her mate is screaming for vengeance. “There is no way out except the sea.” I’m sure that’ll go well.

Scares: A few here and there, but of the “gotcha!” variety.

Splat factor: Some blood, but not much. A scene where the orca mauls someone in an above-water stilted home packs a surprising amount of shock, and a touch of gore.

Closing scene “shocker”: Nada. This film came before all that. Thank goodness.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul): Original, unless you count the parallels to Moby Dick, Jaws and perhaps the windmill-tilting Don Quixote.

Trick or Treat?:  This film got a lot of flak because folks thought it was too much like Jaws, which had come out two years earlier. But I think of this film more like a Moby Dick adaptation. Complete with Shakespearean actor Richard Harris playing Captain Ahab Nolan (he’d go on to play the real Ahab in . A pre-10 Bo Derek plays Annie, the only member of the Bumpo that survives the carnage more or less intact.

The back & forth between first person and third person is jarring. Hey, Dino De Laurentis ain’t known for his highbrow directorial style. But the beginning of the film has you firmly on the side of the whales (the scene where orca’s mate is captured is truly heartbreaking), making the violence that come to the various crew members a bit less frightening and almost like satisfaction. Almost. Well played, Dino. The Ennio Morricone soundtrack lends just the right amount of cheesy goodness to the festivities.

Orca would make a fun double feature with Jaws, on a night when you want monsters that are more realistic, a light touch of horror and gore, and a bit of the sea.

Score: wpid-pumpkin9.jpgwpid-pumpkin9.jpg wpid-pumpkin9.jpg
3 out of 5 pumpkins

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A few more Best of Me images

The_Best_of_Me_Fin1_W17_theater_crop.jpg_cmykGotta say that even though Best of Me should be really popular with Nicholas Sparks fans, personally I’m hoping the typical Sparks Heartbreaking Ending (spoiler only if you’ve never read Sparks in your life) gets scrapped.  I like my romance with a happy nicetime, dammit.  As The Lucky One and Safe Haven make with the happies, I’m keeping hope alive with Best of Me.

Here’s the synopsis:

A pair of former high school sweethearts reunite after many years when they return to visit their small hometown.

It’s brief, but I’m guessing more would be spoiler-iffic.  Anyway, Best of Me opens October 17th, 2014.  Feast your eyes on a few pics!

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