#31in31 – “The Loved Ones”

“Bring the hammer, Daddy…. And a nail.”

Story: Lola just wants a date to the prom, y’all. So she asks classmate Brent, but he’s got a girlfriend and has already made plans. So Lola makes plans of her own…and they include violence.

Scares: The main one? That this is something that could actually happen in real life. *shudders*
Splat Factor: Lots. Skin gets carved, cut, stabbed…and eaten.

Subgenre: Revenge Is Sweet But Payback’s A Bitch Horrors
Year Released: 2009
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original. But I got Hostel vibes. Yeah, it’s like that.

Trick or Treat?: “Hey, I recognize Brent! Xavier Samuel played Riley Biers in the Twilight films. Go me!” That’s what I was thinking when Ones started. Y’know, before my brain melted. Because damn, this film is a lot. Ones is a revenge movie…but more.

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“Killers of the Flower Moon” – a long but incredible achievement

“You got a better chance of convicting a man of kicking a dog than killing an Indian.”

Story: WWI is over, hooray! Ernest Burkhart heads to live with his Uncle William King Hale, and begins to put down roots. Marries a lovely Osage woman named Molly, makes friends…and finds that the Osage people have a whole lot of money. Money his Uncle decides would better serve other folks. Y’know, white folks. Ick.

Genre I’d put it in: Excellent Epics That Need Intermissions
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the book of the same name by David Grann, which itself is a nonfiction account of the Osage Indian murders.

Gotta say: First things first. Yes, this film is over three and a half hours long. Four, if you’re counting the ungodly amount of ads and trailers shown at the multiplex. And yes, Moon is definitely gonna be showered with nominations from all types of film organizations come this year’s Award Season Onslaught. But for me? As much as I think this film could be best enjoyed on a big screen, I love the idea of being able to pause this loooooong film from time to time. That way you can do whatever you need to do, start back up, and not miss a moment. Because honey, you won’t want to miss one second.

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#31in31 – Halloween music fun on The YouTubes!

Did you know that The YouTubes has hours of Halloween music free to stream? Yes – spooky seasonal sounds, and gorgeous art, yours for the price of a remote control clicky. And because I’m headed out to see Killers of the Flower Moon today (yet another no-Baltimore advance screening for press, boo hiss), I’m treating myself to an easy post for this #31in31. I do what I want, y’all.

There are all sorts of musical genres to choose from, like smooth jazz one of my sisters would love, to classic Halloween tunes my other sis would play on repeat, low-fi, electro-swing, “autumn village ambiance”, 80s retro, Disney-themed, and so many more that I’m too lazy to list here.

This year, I’m feeling classic, so I chose this lo-fi mix of music, background effects, and an image with an adorable black cat waiting for me in what looks like the Bestest House Ever-Ever. Bonus? No mid-roll ads!

Happy Friday! Now I’m headed out for four hours of popcorn and Scorsese. That review coming later today. See? Busy, busy me.

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#31in31 – “Sunshine”


“What can you see?… WHAT CAN YOU SEE?”

Story: It’s 2057, and out sun is dying. So to try and reboot the ol’ gal, an expedition is sent out to drop a massive payload into her, in the hope of creating a new star. It failed. So? Try, try again, right? I’m sure everyone will be completely sane, rational, and not jeopardize their mission in any way, even if they notice a signal from the original ship… “Eight astronauts strapped to the back of a bomb…. Welcome to Icarus II.”

Scares: Existential dread. Suspense. Scary darkness. People getting got.
Splat Factor: Some blood. [TW – Sue of side]

Subgenre: Slow Burn “Prevent The Apocalypse” Sci-fi
Year Released: 2007
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but you’ll notice hints of prior space stories, like 2001, Alien, and Solaris, which were a few of director Danny Boyle’s inspirations.

Trick or Treat?: Sunshine is a cosmic horror starring the almost illegally beautiful and talented Cillian Murphy. The whole damn cast is epic – Chris Evans, Rose Byrne, Michelle Yeoh, Cliff Curtis, Hiroyuki Sanada, Benedict Wong, Troy Garity, and Mark Strong. How is this film not getting more love?

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Five Nights at Freddy’s”!

So…the film many of us horrorhounds (and gamers – love y’all) have been waiting for! Synopsis!

The terrifying horror game phenomenon becomes a blood-chilling cinematic event, as Blumhouse— the producer of M3GAN, The Black Phone and The Invisible Man— brings Five Nights at Freddy’s to the big screen. The film follows a troubled security guard as he begins working at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. While spending his first night on the job, he realizes the night shift at Freddy’s won’t be so easy to make it through.

Ready? Let’s go!

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#31in31 – “Bad Things”


“Guys, you don’t know what can happen here.”

Story: Ruthie has lost her grandmother, but gained an old hotel. So she brings her girlfriend, a friend, and an acquaintance to the place before she decides to sell. As the emotions of the quartet get heated in isolation, strange things start to happen. Is the hotel fucking with them, or has Ruthie gone full Torrance?

Scares: There’s a chainsaw so you’d think… But there’s a light touch with onscreen red stuff.
Splat Factor: Lots of tension between the characters that turns into psychological terror.

Subgenre: Haunted Hotels…And People
Year Released: 2023
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but harks back to films like The Shining, The Innkeepers, and other such chillers.

Trick or Treat?: Things is a psychological study within a haunted hotel… Kinda like The Shining for a GenZ world. With a touch of *that* dream. You know, the one where you’re the only one in a huge mall or something? Yeah, that creepy one. It’s a fascinating setup that had me all-in from the start. Like the similarly set – and paced – The Inkeepers, Things focuses on the characters and their emotional connections… and disconnections.

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#31in31 – “Cat People” (1942)

“That’s what makes me dangerous – I’m the new type of other woman.” [Yep, Alice says that with her whole chest. Ew.]

Story: Irena Dubrovna, a young woman from Serbia, is a fashion artist with a secret… If she’s turned on, she’ll turn into a panther. Yeah, her boyfriend doesn’t believe it either. But Oliver wants Irena, and they get married. When another woman successfully catches Oliver’s eye, Irena’s claws come out. Wait, did you hear that growl?

Scares: Lots of eerie shadows.
Splat Factor: None.

Subgenre: Atmospheric Animal Horror That Makes You Root For The “Villain”
Year Released: 1942
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original classic.

Trick or Treat?: Do I think this film is a masterpiece of the cinematic craft? Yes. Do I also think it’s a story where the lead characters should die horribly, leaving the “villain” to lead a happy life elsewhere? Also yes. Because boy howdy, People is a film that’s equal parts xenophobic, misogynistic, and laced with a thick coating of stigma towards the mentally ill, and anyone who doesn’t present as sexually typical. Which is odd, as screenwriter DeWitt Bodeen was gay. Perhaps he just wanted the drama? Well, honey, you flopped.

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In Queue Review – “65”

“So, how long will you be gone this time?”

Genre: What is WITH This Planet Y’all Actioners
Release Date: 2023
Where I Watched: Netflix

Gist: Mills is a rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone…because his ship hit an uncharted asteroid belt that killed everyone else on board. Except hey, a little girl survived too! So all these two need to do is figure out how to get off the planet they crashed on to, and get home. Easy-peasy. *dinosaur roar*

Gotta say: When I saw the trailer for this film earlier this year, I figured this would be a B-movie good time. I passed up seeing it at the multiplex, but much like the spaceship in this film, 65 crashed and burned.

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#31in31 – “Rogue”

“They’ll eat anything, right? Ay?”

Story: So. Australia has saltwater crocodiles, right? And sometimes folks want to see them up close, while traveling waterways that have crocs. Smart move? Yeah, not for a group of tourists who want to snap some pics and have bragging cred. Because they’re gonna get a whole lot more than they bargained for when their boat is attacked by a big’un, and they’re stranded on an tiny island…and is the water rising? Yes. Yes it is.

Scares: Extremely effective “where’s that croc now” energy.
Splat Factor: Welcome to the croc-eats-your-face party.

Subgenre: Now THAT’S A Big Bugger Monster Mashes
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, though you’ll notice several Big Animal Horror subgenre tropes. Based (loosely, obviously) on the story of Sweetheart.
Year Released: 2007

Trick or Treat?: Here’s one that was recommended to me. And gotta say this is an effective monster-animal mash. Writer/director/producer Greg McLean (Wolf Creek) takes this premise and absolutely runs with it. Shot composition, film and sound editing, and a light (til the climax at least) but effective touch with the splatter, equals a whole lot of horrific fun. 

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#31in31 – “Popcorn”

“ARE YOU READY?”

Story: Maggie and her fellow film students are gonna throw a big huge horror film fest, so their department can raise some funds. They decide to go all out, with schlocky oldies known for their in-theater gimmicks, but what they don’t know is that there’s a killer who seems to want Maggie and her friends dead…and that could be tied to an old film the kids find while setting up, and the nightmares Maggie’s been having lately. Yo, killer; don’t mess with a horror movie marathon, you jerk. Yeesh.

Scares: Um… Not really. More fun “scares” you’ll see coming, than actual spooky stuff.
Splat Factor: Mid. As this is a 90s homage to earlier haunts? The blood and gore are delightfully middle of the road, to keep the B-movie vibe alive.

Subgenre: Homage Horror
Year Released: 1991
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: An original homage to horror movies in general, and 80s slashers in particular.

Trick or Treat?: Popcorn is an early 90s horror homage that feels like an early 80s slasher, and it doesn’t get nearly as much love as it deserves. I blame that one the film’s original trailer and poster, that made it look like an Italian Giallo rather than the gleefully silly American (though filmed in Jamaica) slasher it is. From the fantastic cast (many of whom we’ve seen in other genre/80s fare), to the obvious love this film has for the works of B Movie creators like William Castle, this is a horror movie lovers horror movie. And I adore it. The creators have the same attention to detail with the “classic movies” playing during the marathon as they do with the overall story, making this film a fun watch on many levels.

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