“Night Swim” successfully glides through familiar waters

Posted on January 4, 2024 by Denise

“We’re the pool family!”

Story: The Walker fam look to move into a new house after dad Ray got injured during his pro baseball thang. (#GoSports) But they can’t decide on what house to choose; one that’s handicapped accessible but “feels like a hospital”, or the run-down one that has a pool? When Ray’s doc says swimming might help, their decision is made. Hey, why are the pool lights flickering…and what’s that dirty, ooky water? I’m sure it’s nothing. It’s not like a little girl drowned in that pool – UNDER MYSTERIOUS CIRCUMSTANCES – a few decades ago. Oh wait.

Genre I’d put it in: Spooky Water Stories
Release Date: 2024 (that’s right – HAPPY NEW YEAR Y’ALL)
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the short film of the same name. Hints of classic films you’ll immediately pick up on. And not just because I’ll be mentioning them later.

Gotta say: Swim is a fun mashup of The Amityville Horror, Get Out, and Insidious, and it’s a spooky ride that keeps the pacing tight within the hour and a half runtime. There’s even a whiff of Dark Water and The Grudge here and there, if you’re looking. Which I started doing once I decided this was basically The Amityville Pool.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Mean Girls”!

Posted on January 4, 2024 by Denise

That’s right baby – I’m talking the musical adaptation! Synopsis!

From the comedic mind of Tina Fey comes a new twist on the modern classic, MEAN GIRLS. New student Cady Heron (Angourie Rice) is welcomed into the top of the social food chain by the elite group of popular girls called “The Plastics,” ruled by the conniving queen bee Regina George (Reneé Rapp) and her minions Gretchen (Bebe Wood) and Karen (Avantika). However, when Cady makes the major misstep of falling for Regina’s ex-boyfriend Aaron Samuels (Christopher Briney), she finds herself prey in Regina’s crosshairs. As Cady sets to take down the group’s apex predator with the help of her outcast friends Janis (Auli’i Cravalho) and Damian (Jaquel Spivey), she must learn how to stay true to herself while navigating the most cutthroat jungle of all: high school.

Ready? Let’s go!

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Night Swim”!

Posted on January 2, 2024 by Denise

Ready to get SPOOPY for 2024? Synopsis!

Based on the acclaimed 2014 short film by Rod Blackhurst and Bryce McGuire, the film stars Wyatt Russell (The Falcon and the Winter Soldier) as Ray Waller, a former major league baseball player forced into early retirement by a degenerative illness, who moves into a new home with his concerned wife Eve (Oscar® nominee Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin), teenage daughter Izzy (Amélie Hoeferle, this fall’s The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes) and young son Elliot (Gavin Warren, Fear the Walking Dead). Secretly hoping, against the odds, to return to pro ball, Ray persuades Eve that the new home’s shimmering backyard swimming pool will be fun for the kids and provide physical therapy for him. But a dark secret in the home’s past will unleash a malevolent force that will drag the family under, into the depths of inescapable terror.

Ready? Let’s go!

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In Queue Review – “Hell Camp: Teen Nightmare”

Posted on December 27, 2023 by Denise

“I mean, some of how we did things could look abusive… I’m sorry, I might be old school, but human nature is we need parameters.” 

Genre: Horrifying Documentaries 
Release Date: 2023 
Where I Watched: Netflix

Gist: A look at Challenger Camp, led by Steve Cartisano. A camp where parents sent their teens for some outdoor “tough love”, but ended up being abusive and dangerous. And then it got worse. Much, much, MUCH worse.

Gotta say: There are films I review because they’re great. There are films I review because I should. There are films I review because they’re absolute garbage and I need to warn humanity. Then there are documentaries like Camp, where the message is so important, the story so compelling, I can’t not review it. So boom. This doc hit me twice; first, as a gal who grew up in the 80s and had no idea this stuff was going on, and second, as an adult who got absolutely, incandescently angry at what the human waste parading as “responsible adults” got up to in these “camps”. Director Liza Williams created a cinematic Molotov cocktail with this documentary, and it’s a damning look at how we’ve treated – and continue to treat – our “troubled” children.

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“The Color Purple” – How To Adapt A Musical Beautifully 101

Posted on December 19, 2023 by Denise

“We are more than kings and queens. We are the center of the universe.”

Genre I’d put it in: Musical Adaptations That Become A Master Class In Their Genre
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the musical of the novel by Alice Walker, as well as that novel’s film adaptation. With me so far?

Gotta say: I don’t typically blow smoke up a movie’s patoot. It’s rare when I fawn and gush, even when I’m absolutely twitterpated. I’ll like something. I’ll love something. But Purple? Is how you do a theater musical adaptation y’all. It’s cinematic perfection, taking the onstage story, blocking, songs, and characters, and using the cinematic medium beautifully to bring the best bits of everything to a completely different art form. I truly left this screening all teary and sniffly. Mostly because that climactic end scene/song was so freaking beautiful. But also because I was that happy. Don’t worry; I’ll be back to my monstrous self in no time. But ’til then? This Grinch’s heart grew the day I saw Purple.

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TrailerWatch – A24’s “Civil War” scares the [RADIO EDIT] out of me

Posted on December 14, 2023 by Denise

“What kind of American are you? You don’t know?”

Alex Garland creates an America that is no longer united in this first look at his 2024 film. And with today’s charged climate? It’s terrifyingly on point.

While the states that secede are a little all over the place – Florida, Texas, California, Louisiana, etc – I’m sure that’s so the film is more allegory than finger pointing. Nick Offerman as a dictatorial third-term President hints at a possible reason for the rebellions… Offerman’s POTUS is something I’ve gotta see; I loved his nuanced performance in The Last of Us, so it’s highly probable he’ll deliver a powerful performance in this film.

Civil War has the bones of a throwaway action film… But with Garland’s prior work on Ex Machina, Annihilation, and 28 Days Later? There’s surely a deeper, more thoughtful gut punch hidden under the basic premise.

Civil War hits theaters on April 26

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“Godzilla Minus One” harks back to Kaiju classics while keeping things fresh

Posted on December 6, 2023 by Denise

“This country never changes. Perhaps it can’t.”

Story: In the aftermath of the Japanese loss in WWII, Kōichi Shikishima, a failed kamikaze pilot, tries to pick up the pieces of his life amid shame and self-loathing, while trying to figure out what the heck he saw on Odo Island in 1945. (Hint: it had atomic breath.) By 1947, Kōichi has taken in Noriko, an unhoused young woman, and Akiko, an infant Noriko herself rescued from the wreckage of Tokyo. They settle into a routine with friends and neighbors, rebuilding their lives and their city. Their ersatz family slowly morphs into the real thing, until…did you hear that boom? GOJIRAAAAAAA!!!!

Genre I’d put it in: Modern MAN IN SUIT Classics
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Part of Toho Studio’s Godzilla-verse

Gotta say: Yes, I realize that on a technological level, One has both feet firmly planted in the 21st Century. There’s no suit, there is only CGI…and awesome technical work at that. But. There’s a vibe in this film that harks back to the original 1954 Toho Studio film, right down to the look of the (now surely digitized) film stock. One takes its place among the pantheon of Japanese Kaiju films, and for me? It’s one of the best. Am I saying that One is an instant classic? Yep. That’s exactly what I said.

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In Queue Review – “Scream of the Wolf” (aka “Wolf Manor”)

Posted on November 30, 2023 by Denise

“Trust me. I’m a producer.”

Genre: Furry Horror Comedies
Release Date: 2023 (wide & streaming), 2022 (Festival circuit)
Where I Watched: Shudder

Gist: Crimson Manor, the latest installment of a beloved Gothic vampire series, is wrapping up production at a huge ol’ Talbot Manor. Who cares if they should have left when their contract expired yesterday? We’ve got a gorgeous full moon, a drunk lead, and plenty of B-roll to shoot. Might be here all night. What’s that howl?

Gotta say: MAN IN SUIT! And he’s gloriously cheesy! Wolf knows you want some laughs, some gore, and a few moments of suspense. Boom, here it is. This film winks at the audience often, to make sure you’re in on the silliness. If you’re into meta stories, this one’s for you.

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Columbia Screening Pass-palooza – “Wish”!

Posted on November 18, 2023 by Denise

Ready for some magic? Synopsis!

Walt Disney Animation Studios’ “Wish” is an all-new musical-comedy welcoming audiences to the magical kingdom of Rosas, where Asha, a sharp-witted idealist, makes a wish so powerful that it is answered by a cosmic force—a little ball of boundless energy called Star. Together, Asha and Star confront a most formidable foe—the ruler of Rosas, King Magnifico—to save her community and prove that when the will of one courageous human connects with the magic of the stars, wondrous things can happen.

Ready? Let’s go!

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“Wish” – new story, old hat

Posted on November 17, 2023 by Denise


“A squirrel just said good morning to me…. What do you say to a squirrel?”

Story: Welcome to the Kingdom of Rosas! Here, our King is a magnificent sorcerer that can grant wishes! Just give him your wish on your 18th birthday – or as soon as you enter the kingdom if you’re older – and he will keep it safe for you, until he grants it. Maybe grants it. Soon-to-be 18 year old Asha isn’t sure about that, after she interviews to become his appretice. So she wishes in secret. A wish so powerful it…but I’m getting ahead of myself. Hey, talking mushrooms!

Genre I’d put it in: Lackluster Disney Offerings
Release Date: 2023
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Original, but shamelessly rips off harks back to Disney films like Tangled, Frozen, and Pocahontas.

Gotta say: Wish feels like a throwback to the Bronze Age; a film with all good intentions, but with little of those hopes translating to the screen. Children, die-hard Disney adults, and many theater kids will have a good time, but this kid felt cheated. I’m not mad, I’m disappoint…no. I’m kinda mad. When I left the screening, I tried my very best to drum up some goodwill, and while there are fun tidbits – any time the star is playing with a ball of red yarn immediately springs to mind – Wish is pablum when I wanted heartier, deeper, fare.

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