Sequels baybeeeee! Who doesn’t immediately get interested, even if it’s looking like a trash fire (sorry not sorry, Halloween Kills…) Synopsis!
Set more than a decade after the events of the first film, “Avatar The Way of Water” begins to tell the story of the Sully family (Jake, Neytiri and their kids), the trouble that follows them, the lengths they go to keep each other safe, the battles they fight to stay alive and the tragedies they endure.
Ready? Let’s go!
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“WOOF.”
Genre: Holiday Musicals You Put On In The Background For The Kids
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: Based on the Dickens story, and the usual holiday musical tropes. Hit streaming in 2022.
Bonus Content?: DOGGO
Where I Watched: Netflix
Synopsis: You know the drill; Scrooge is a rich jerk that treats everyone like garbage. But four ghosts (YES FOUR FIGHT ME) aim to change that. Cue the flash backs, forwards, and arounds. This time though, there’s a doggo!
Worth the Eggnog?: A Netflix animated version of this ol’ chestnut? Do we need another one? If this is any indication, the answer is absolutely not. This lifeless version has great voices, but gives them nothing interesting or substantial to do beyond go through the motions. In this adaptation, Scrooge nurses all the heartbreaks he had growing up, “I’m not happy, why should they be?” It’s different from the hard shell fans of the tale have come to expect. This guy is one hiccup away from a full emotional breakdown, so treats the world like something that’s broken his heart again and again, rather than something that’s simply pre-occupied with pointless jolliness during the last month of the year. It’s jarring, but just one of the many WTF things this Carol switches up in order try to seem fresh. It does not succeed.
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“Hi honey – I’m cancer!”
Story: Michael Ausiello has things together y’all. He’s a writer at TVGuide, has a nice pad in Jersey, and figures The Guy is just something that’s not in the cards for him. But they Kit Cowan appears…and for fourteen years, they’re the Happy Couple Goals we all aspire to. But then one day Kit feels a bit off. And then things get bad. Really bad. Uh, cue title; it’s super bad.
Genre I’d put it in: Bittersweet Love Stories That Could Use More Heart
Release Date: 2022
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the book “Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies” by Michael Ausiello
Gotta say: Alert is very much like those large chocolate Easter Bunnies or Santas (let’s get seasonal y’all.) Promising, fun to anticipate getting into, but ultimately hollow. It’s not to say that the film is bad – far from it I thought many a parts of it were quite good. But when you release a movie about an individual in a love story where one half happens to be dying of cancer during December’s award season onslaught? Let’s just say that at this time of year, I’m expecting a little bit more than good. With this story and cast, I was expecting great. Ah well.
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Ooh, movies about the movies? Sign me up! Synopsis!
From Academy Award®-winning director and writer Sam Mendes, EMPIRE OF LIGHT is a moving drama about the power of human connection during turbulent times. Set in and around a faded old cinema in an English coastal town in the early 1980s, it follows Hilary (Olivia Colman) a cinema manager struggling with her mental health, and Stephen (Micheal Ward), a new employee who longs to escape this provincial town in which he faces daily adversity. Both Hilary and Stephen find a sense of belonging through their unlikely and tender relationship and come to experience the healing power of music, cinema, and community.
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“Excuse me, are you two together?”
Genre: Family Secrets, Holiday Edition
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: Released 2022. Based on the book of the same name by Richard Paul Evans.
Bonus Content?: A sweet border collie!
Where I Watched: Netflix
Synopsis: Jacob Turner is a famous writer with a complicated childhood. Rachel Campbell is a woman searching for her birth mom. When Jacob returns to his childhood home, Rachel finds he might have the information she’s looking for; her birth mom was his nanny. Is it going to be that easy? Will they figure out the hiccups in their pasts? Are they gonna kiiiiiiiss? No, yes, and DUH!
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“Santa’s getting mad.”
Story: It’s been a rough couple of centuries for ol’ Santa. So maybe this is his last year delivering presents “…to kids who really need me.” Meanwhile, the uber-rich Lightstone family gathers together for their annual uncomfortable holiday shindig. Everybody’s garbage, except for adorable Cindy Lou Who Trudy, who still holds fast to her belief in the jolly dude. When extremely naughty bad guys decide to do a burgle at the Lightstone family compound when Santa’s delivering presents? Ho ho ho, it’s on like icing on gingerbread.
Genre I’d put it in: Merry Mayhem
Release Date: 2022
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on various myths of Santa Claus, but otherwise original
Gotta say: Please, please, please. Go into Night as blind as possible. That official final trailer you’re about to watch? Skip it. The clip that’s tempting you? Pass. Don’t spoil a moment of this gloriously gory, hilariously inappropriate, yet surprisingly heartfelt story. Halfway through this screening, I figured this would end up in my Must Watch During December playlist. After the credits rolled, I was completely certain that Night is a holiday tradition in the making. So I urge any Christmas-y folks to join in on the fun. You won’t be sorry.
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Honestly, I think this studio is psychic – I was just talking about this film with a friend of mine…who I will definitely be begging to come with me. So what’s up? Synopsis!
Inspired by the 1985 true story of a drug runner’s plane crash, missing cocaine, and the black bear that ate it, this wild dark comedy finds an oddball group of cops, criminals, tourists and teens converging in a Georgia forest where a 500- pound apex predator has ingested a staggering amount of cocaine and gone on a coke-fueled rampage for more blow … and blood.
Cocaine Bear stars Keri Russell (The Americans), O’Shea Jackson, Jr. (Straight Outta Compton), Christian Convery-Jennings (Sweet Tooth), Alden Ehrenreich (Solo: A Star Wars Story), Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Modern Family), Brooklynn Prince (The Florida Project), Isiah Whitlock Jr. (BlacKkKlansman), Kristofer Hivju (Game of Thrones), Hannah Hoekstra (2019’s Charlie’s Angels) and Aaron Holliday (Sharp Objects), with with Emmy winner Margo Martindale (The Americans) and Emmy winner Ray Liotta (The Many Saints of Newark).
I’ll be RIGHT THERE BESIDE YOU for this one y’all. Cocaine Bear hits theaters February 24th, 2023.
“Life isn’t a movie, Fableman.”
Story: Little Sammy Fabelman DOES NOT want to go to the movies with his parents. But afterwards, his mom’s help with re-creating a moment in that film to help Sammy deal with his fears? Begins a lifelong love of making movies. No matter where he is, who he’s with, or what’s going on in his life, film is, as his Uncle Boris opines, his “addiction”. And thank goodness for that.
Genre I’d put it in: Award Bait Fodder Spielberg Films
Release Date: 2022
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based loosely on Steven Spielberg’s early life with his family, and the start of his love affair with film
Gotta say: This is a Steven Spielberg film that’s (kinda sorta) about Steven Spielberg growing up, and how he fell in love with making movies. So either you’re going to be all in for this, or you’re not. And as you’re reading this review? I’m assuming you’re down. Good. Because Fabelmans is a wonderful watch.
“Just go with the flow. It’s gonna be magical.”
Story: Margot is the plus-one to gustatorial fanboy Nick’s super-chic, super-exclusive, dinner on the beautiful island of Don’t Go There Girl. She’s not impressed with foamy this and freeze-dried that, but hey, a free dinner is cool, right? Well, the restaurant – and the elusive chef that heads it – are planning on delivering the ultimate experience this evening. Any chance of a doggy bag…and a way off this island?
Genre I’d put it in: Aggressively Delicious Satire
Release Date: 2022
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Echoes many class struggle stories, but this one’s original.
Gotta say: “Hilarious. Dark. Delectable.”? Oh shit. I sound like one of those elitist snobs that went to this restaurant. That can’t be good. Luckily this movie is. Fans of the absurd? Of macabe humor? You’ve found your favorite thing of the season.
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“Of course. Of course I have a secret.”
Story: In 2017, Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey, investigative journalists at the New York Times, began an investigation into then-alleged sexual misconduct at Miramax Studios. Little did they know that their investigation would find worldwide instances of sexual abuse, with over a hundred women coming forward once their piece was published. But at the start of their investigation, it looked like they were headed to dead-end city.
Genre I’d put it in: Must Watch Docudramas
Release Date: 2022
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the investigation by – and Pulitzer Prize winning coverage of – the New York Times, regarding the history of abuse and misconduct by Harvey Weinstein. Also based on the book of the same name by NYT jouralists Kantor and Twohey. One of the jumping-off points of the #MeToo movement.
Gotta say: I’m a sucker for any and all films set in the world of journalism. All the President’s Men, Blindspot, The Post, along with stories outside the in-office docudrama genre, like His Gal Friday, and The Killing Fields. Add in some Grrrrl Power vibes, and I was ready to eat Said up with a spoon. And I did.
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Got a dollar to spare? A quarter?
Atomic Fangirl 