#31in31 – “Ravenous” (1999)



“He’s tough. But then a good soldier ought to be.”

Story: When Second Lieutenant John Boyd inadvertently becomes a hero during an act of cowardice, he’s shipped off to Fort Spencer, a place for Army screwups. But this ain’t the sequel to Stripes. Because when a stranger named Colqhoun comes to the Fort with tales of Oregon trail horror and cannibalism? The men set out to help. But hoo boy, Colqhoun has quite a different idea of what inviting people to dinner really means…

Scares: More creepy than scary, simply because we all know what’s going on pretty quickly.
Splat Factor: Cannibalism. So yeah. A lot.

Subgenre: Homoerotic Western Cannibal Horror
Year Released: 1999
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Brilliantly original.

Trick or Treat?: I can’t believe I haven’t done this one yet. In 13 years? It’s one of my favorite things. Even though that creepy PDF is in it. So y’all know it’s worth a look.

Hello colonialism! Writer/director Antonia Bird and screenwriter Ted Griffith tear apart the American flag-waving we can’t get enough of around here. Ravenous shows the ugliness of the westward expansion by using dark humor to dig into a viewer’s brain, allowing us to consider the critiques shown as the story sticks with us.

I’d wax poetic over this one for A While, but someone beat me to it and said every single thing I wanted to say, and better. So please enjoy Mildo’s amazing look at how we BOTH wanted the protagonist and antagonist to just make out already. USA! USA! USA!

Score: 4.5 out of 5 pumpkins.



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#31in31 – “House of the Long Shadows”

“Please share with us this evening. At least for a little while.”

Story: Snotty young writer Kenneth Magee makes a bet with his publisher that he can write a Gothic novel worthy of the classics in that genre…in 24 hours. But when Ken gets to the manor his publisher suggests he uses to get away? Things start to turn into the very type of thing he’d been wanting to write about. What’s going on?

Scares: A few jump scares. Hello kitty!
Splat Factor:  As gruesome effigy, and some paper mâché-looking burns.

Subgenre: Old Dark House Of Semi-Humorous Horrors
Year Released: 1983
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the 1913 book Seven Keys to Baldpate, by Earl Derr Biggers.

Trick or Treat?: Vincent Price. Christopher Lee. Peter Cushing. John Carradine. UK horror icon Sheila Keith, and her bombastic side-eye. These legends together onscreen? To horror fans, this is as comforting as a warm hug on a cold night. Which, by the way, is the perfect time to check out this film.

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#31in31 – “Monster Man”


“I’ve been waiting my whole life to fuck up like this.”

Story: Adam is heading to the wedding of his big crush, Betty-Ann. When his former friend Harley literally surprises him on the trip, things get dangerous. Who knew constantly insulting people for being “stupid rednecks” would have consequences? Um. Everybody. Everybody but these two.

Scares: Stupid, not scary.
Splat Factor:  A gas station bathroom that puts Trainspotting to shame. Fake dead animals used to simulate cunnilingus. (Yes really.)

Subgenre: Bad Dudebro Horror
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Too stupid to be anything but original.

Trick or Treat?: Dumb and Dumber meets Duel in the worst possible way. Man is a complete waste of time, if you’re looking for a spooky October watch.

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#31in31 – a look at my 2006 review of “Underworld: Evolution”!

Sure, I’m tired and kinda lazy. But I’m seriously gobsmacked that I haven’t shared this one yet. Originally published at Green Man Review. Enjoy?

Underworld: Evolution
Ever since the first Underworld came out, there has been talk of a sequel. Director Len Wiseman has often said that the story he wanted to tell was too big to be told in one film, so another was planned, almost from the beginning. So here it is; does it deliver? Yes, and no. While this film does take up where the last one left off, much of what I loved about the first film (discussion of genetics and its place in these mutations, the initial war between lycans and vampires) is jettisoned for more action and faster pacing. Which makes for a cooler ride, but not necessarily a more enjoyable one.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Regretting You”!

Ready to go to the movies tomorrow night? Synopsis!

Based on the bestselling book, REGRETTING YOU introduces audiences to Morgan Grant (Allison Williams) and her daughter Clara (Mckenna Grace) as they explore what’s left behind after a devastating accident reveals a shocking betrayal and forces them to confront family secrets, redefine love, and rediscover each other. REGRETTING YOU is a story of growth, resilience, and self-discovery in the aftermath of tragedy, also starring Dave Franco and Mason Thames with Scott Eastwood and Willa Fitzgerald, in theatres this October.

Ready? Let’s go!

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#31in31 – “Phenomena”

“I’m sleepwalking, I must wake up. I’m sleepwalking, I must…”

Story: Out in the wilds of “The Swiss Transylvania” (not a real thing), young Jennifer begins life at a boarding school. But the area has had a spate of missing girls. Girls just like Jennifer. Though nobody is quite like our young protagonist. What do you mean, she’s talking to that bumblebee?

Scares: I hope you’re cool with maggots. Like, super cool.
Splat Factor:  Dario. Argento. Of course it’s bloody. And bloody surreal.

Subgenre: 80s Argento Goodness
Year Released: 1985
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original. Seriously, only Argento could come up with this.

Trick or Treat?: Phenomena (a shortened version is known as Creepers in the USA), has been called “bonkers” by a whole lot of reviewer-types. And boy howdy, that’s accurate. It’s also a complete blast if you’re into Giallo, and just a crazy good time if you’re into surreal 80s horror. Emphasis on crazy. If you haven’t seen an Argento film before, Phenomena is probably the most accessible of his films. And since I’m gonna talk about a film that’s about a girl with psychic powers that can “talk” to insects, and that has a monkey nurse as a major character? I hope you get exactly how beautifully gonzo Argento’s ourvre is.

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#31in31 – “Werewolves”



“I really don’t like the name Moonscreen.”

Story: A year ago, a supermoon brought more than social media chatter; over a billion people turned into vicious werewolves. Humanity had a year to prepare, and many feel safe. But will there be more humans turned during this year’s supermoon? And will scientific breakthroughs fail? I mean, duh.

Scares: Jump scares and wolves on the hunt.
Splat Factor:  Surprisingly light for this R-rated story, save for one decapitation that’s so obviously fake it’s goofy goodness.

Subgenre: Hairy Horrors
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but liberally takes beats from other werewolf and action films.

Trick or Treat?: Dog Soldiers In The City. The Purge: Werewolf Night. Werewolves will scratch your monster-action itch with lots of boom boom howl. I knew this was gonna be epic when the opening expositional font was in red, and it did not disappoint.

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#31in31 – “Companion”


“Are you robo-shaming?”

Story: Iris heads to a “rustic cabin” in the woods with her boyfriend Josh. Two other couples are already there, and a weekend of fun awaits. Or does it? When another woman’s partner sexually attacks Iris, Iris lashes out. And that’s when things get really crazy.

Scares: More satirical than scary
Splat Factor: An unintentional murderbot. So, yeah. There’s plenty of red.

Subgenre: Good For Her Horror Satire
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but you’ll catch delicious whiffs of other films scattered throughout.

Trick or Treat?: Finally! After a slew of clunkers this month, a film I actually enjoyed watching. Companion is the kind of slyly satirical piece that sits firmly in the Good For Her camp. Lots of blood, a cast that’s quick with the quips, and an Westworld-esque vibe that had me sighing happily.

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#31in31 – “The Dead Room”


“I don’t feel anything.”

Story: Techie Liam, psychic Holly, and skeptic Scott, are sent to a house to investigate possible supernatural issues. What caused the family to run, leaving everything behind? Could it be…SATAN? Oh, you know the drill.

Scares: A few eerie moments.
Splat Factor: Slim to none.

Subgenre: Ghost Hunters Horrors
Year Released: 2015
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Inspired by a local New Zealand legend of a haunted house.

Trick or Treat?: I love local folklore. Urban legends. Y’know, stuff where folks from around those parts have been talking about Something Spooky Around Here for years and years. Room takes the usual “people go into a house they should not have gone into” story and deliver nothing but the usual creaks, groans, and unsurprising ending we’ve seen a million times before. But this time they have New Zealand accents! Yay.

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#31in31 – “Rounding”

“Man. Something really bad must have happened to you.”

Story: James Hayman, a compassionate young medical resident, transfers to a small town hospital from a much larger one after he became too obsessed with the wellbeing of his patient. Now there’s an asthmatic girl in his care, and things look like they’re headed the same way. But is there more to this case?

Scares: Just the horror of reality.
Splat Factor: Basic hospital stuff, a horribly wrecked ankle, an autopsy.

Subgenre: Reality Is Horrifying Horror
Year Released: 2025 (wide/streaming) 2022 (Tribeca)
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: Rounding is the kind of dark psychological case study that isn’t easily slotted into a single genre. It’s horror, it’s drama, it’s modern gothic, and it’s a character study. It’s also a meandering path to one hell of a finale.

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