Atomic Fangirl

“WHO’S SMILING NOW, YOU INFERNAL SON OF A WHOOOOOORE???” [God I love Adam Scott.]

Story: Twin boys, Bill and Hal, find out that their deadbeat dad has a closet full of “weird stuff” he picked up on his travels. Their mom says it’ll be theirs one day…but they can’t wait. So naturally, they pick a weird monkey toy to check out. They wind it up, and it works, kinda. But when their babysitter is brutally killed in a “tragic accident”, it’s the first of quite a few of those kinda things. Twenty-five years later, the boys still can’t seem to get past what happened when they were kids. Even though they got rid of the monkey, their lives are garbage. Wait; or did they get rid of that monkey? What’s that over there?

Scares: Just that creepy-ass monkey.
Splat Factor: Yep. Blood, gore, and insides outside.

Subgenre: Stephen King Shenanigans
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the Stephen King story of the same name.

Trick or Treat?: Osgood Perkins is a strange fish. And I mean that in the very best way. His filmography is filled with odd films that sit with you long after the end credits have rolled. And this one fits nicely between Longlegs, I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House, and Gretel & Hansel.

“Don’t worry about the reason behind all this, what’s important is a solution!”

Story: When the head of Wani Waras herbal treatments tries their new elixir on himself, it works. He’s younger! But those side effects will kill you. You, and anyone unlucky to be in biting distance. But good news – you won’t be down for long. You won’t be alive anymore, but you won’t be down. Success! Now, to let his awful adult children know… Hey, what’s that weird rash?

Scares: Creepy looking zombies. Tense situations.
Splat Factor:  Blood AND guts. But a lot of the blood is black, so it’s not as icky as it could have been.

Subgenre: Untested New “Remedy” = Zombies
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: No, this is not a sequel to The Substance. It’s more like Succession meets Ziam. Except if their premises vanished less than halfway through, and were replaced by absolutely nothing.

“You will come to realize who your real enemies are.”

Story: Saito is a traitor to his comrades in WWII Japan. So he’s put on a Hell Ship, to be executed as an example. Til they arrive though, he’s shackled to UK POW Bronson, to teach them both a lesson. But when the ship is sunk, these two find themselves on a deserted island. Yay, they’re safe! Wait, what’s that clicking noise?

Scares: A few jump scares.
Splat Factor:  Dead bodies, some bloody attacks by both humans and creatures.

Subgenre: Historical Creature Features
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on The Creature From the Black Lagoon and Malaysian folklore.

Trick or Treat?: I love a horror movie that teaches me something along the way. I didn’t know about the horrible Japanese Hell Ships that transported POWs , nor had I heard about the Malaysian Orange Ikan soldiers swear they saw on otherwise deserted islands. These two tidbits make for a fascinating story.