#31in31 – “Monster Man”


“I’ve been waiting my whole life to fuck up like this.”

Story: Adam is heading to the wedding of his big crush, Betty-Ann. When his former friend Harley literally surprises him on the trip, things get dangerous. Who knew constantly insulting people for being “stupid rednecks” would have consequences? Um. Everybody. Everybody but these two.

Scares: Stupid, not scary.
Splat Factor:  A gas station bathroom that puts Trainspotting to shame. Fake dead animals used to simulate cunnilingus. (Yes really.)

Subgenre: Bad Dudebro Horror
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Too stupid to be anything but original.

Trick or Treat?: Dumb and Dumber meets Duel in the worst possible way. Man is a complete waste of time, if you’re looking for a spooky October watch.

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#31in31 – a look at my 2006 review of “Underworld: Evolution”!

Sure, I’m tired and kinda lazy. But I’m seriously gobsmacked that I haven’t shared this one yet. Originally published at Green Man Review. Enjoy?

Underworld: Evolution
Ever since the first Underworld came out, there has been talk of a sequel. Director Len Wiseman has often said that the story he wanted to tell was too big to be told in one film, so another was planned, almost from the beginning. So here it is; does it deliver? Yes, and no. While this film does take up where the last one left off, much of what I loved about the first film (discussion of genetics and its place in these mutations, the initial war between lycans and vampires) is jettisoned for more action and faster pacing. Which makes for a cooler ride, but not necessarily a more enjoyable one.

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Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza – “Regretting You”!

Ready to go to the movies tomorrow night? Synopsis!

Based on the bestselling book, REGRETTING YOU introduces audiences to Morgan Grant (Allison Williams) and her daughter Clara (Mckenna Grace) as they explore what’s left behind after a devastating accident reveals a shocking betrayal and forces them to confront family secrets, redefine love, and rediscover each other. REGRETTING YOU is a story of growth, resilience, and self-discovery in the aftermath of tragedy, also starring Dave Franco and Mason Thames with Scott Eastwood and Willa Fitzgerald, in theatres this October.

Ready? Let’s go!

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#31in31 – “Phenomena”

“I’m sleepwalking, I must wake up. I’m sleepwalking, I must…”

Story: Out in the wilds of “The Swiss Transylvania” (not a real thing), young Jennifer begins life at a boarding school. But the area has had a spate of missing girls. Girls just like Jennifer. Though nobody is quite like our young protagonist. What do you mean, she’s talking to that bumblebee?

Scares: I hope you’re cool with maggots. Like, super cool.
Splat Factor:  Dario. Argento. Of course it’s bloody. And bloody surreal.

Subgenre: 80s Argento Goodness
Year Released: 1985
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original. Seriously, only Argento could come up with this.

Trick or Treat?: Phenomena (a shortened version is known as Creepers in the USA), has been called “bonkers” by a whole lot of reviewer-types. And boy howdy, that’s accurate. It’s also a complete blast if you’re into Giallo, and just a crazy good time if you’re into surreal 80s horror. Emphasis on crazy. If you haven’t seen an Argento film before, Phenomena is probably the most accessible of his films. And since I’m gonna talk about a film that’s about a girl with psychic powers that can “talk” to insects, and that has a monkey nurse as a major character? I hope you get exactly how beautifully gonzo Argento’s ourvre is.

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#31in31 – “Werewolves”



“I really don’t like the name Moonscreen.”

Story: A year ago, a supermoon brought more than social media chatter; over a billion people turned into vicious werewolves. Humanity had a year to prepare, and many feel safe. But will there be more humans turned during this year’s supermoon? And will scientific breakthroughs fail? I mean, duh.

Scares: Jump scares and wolves on the hunt.
Splat Factor:  Surprisingly light for this R-rated story, save for one decapitation that’s so obviously fake it’s goofy goodness.

Subgenre: Hairy Horrors
Year Released: 2024
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but liberally takes beats from other werewolf and action films.

Trick or Treat?: Dog Soldiers In The City. The Purge: Werewolf Night. Werewolves will scratch your monster-action itch with lots of boom boom howl. I knew this was gonna be epic when the opening expositional font was in red, and it did not disappoint.

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#31in31 – “Companion”


“Are you robo-shaming?”

Story: Iris heads to a “rustic cabin” in the woods with her boyfriend Josh. Two other couples are already there, and a weekend of fun awaits. Or does it? When another woman’s partner sexually attacks Iris, Iris lashes out. And that’s when things get really crazy.

Scares: More satirical than scary
Splat Factor: An unintentional murderbot. So, yeah. There’s plenty of red.

Subgenre: Good For Her Horror Satire
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original, but you’ll catch delicious whiffs of other films scattered throughout.

Trick or Treat?: Finally! After a slew of clunkers this month, a film I actually enjoyed watching. Companion is the kind of slyly satirical piece that sits firmly in the Good For Her camp. Lots of blood, a cast that’s quick with the quips, and an Westworld-esque vibe that had me sighing happily.

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#31in31 – “The Dead Room”


“I don’t feel anything.”

Story: Techie Liam, psychic Holly, and skeptic Scott, are sent to a house to investigate possible supernatural issues. What caused the family to run, leaving everything behind? Could it be…SATAN? Oh, you know the drill.

Scares: A few eerie moments.
Splat Factor: Slim to none.

Subgenre: Ghost Hunters Horrors
Year Released: 2015
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Inspired by a local New Zealand legend of a haunted house.

Trick or Treat?: I love local folklore. Urban legends. Y’know, stuff where folks from around those parts have been talking about Something Spooky Around Here for years and years. Room takes the usual “people go into a house they should not have gone into” story and deliver nothing but the usual creaks, groans, and unsurprising ending we’ve seen a million times before. But this time they have New Zealand accents! Yay.

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#31in31 – “Rounding”

“Man. Something really bad must have happened to you.”

Story: James Hayman, a compassionate young medical resident, transfers to a small town hospital from a much larger one after he became too obsessed with the wellbeing of his patient. Now there’s an asthmatic girl in his care, and things look like they’re headed the same way. But is there more to this case?

Scares: Just the horror of reality.
Splat Factor: Basic hospital stuff, a horribly wrecked ankle, an autopsy.

Subgenre: Reality Is Horrifying Horror
Year Released: 2025 (wide/streaming) 2022 (Tribeca)
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: Rounding is the kind of dark psychological case study that isn’t easily slotted into a single genre. It’s horror, it’s drama, it’s modern gothic, and it’s a character study. It’s also a meandering path to one hell of a finale.

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#31in31 – “Dangerous Animals”

“Aww. How romantic. It’s too bad I’m more of a horror fan.”

Story: A couple decides to go on a shark cage expedition, but things take a bloody turn when their guide Tucker feeds one of them to the sharks. And when American surfer Zephyr gets caught by the crazed guide, things are gonna get even bloodier. But for WHOMST. (Everyone. It gets bloody for everyone.)

Scares: Lots and lots of terror and suspense.
Splat Factor: Serial killer + sharks feeding = you betcha

Subgenre: Sharky Goodness From Australia
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original

Trick or Treat?: This ain’t a horror movie. It’s an extended meet-cute, with sharks. Fine. It’s more than that, but with The Loved Ones‘ Sean Byrne directing this? You know there’s gonna be a twisted take on feelings and shit.

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#31in31 – I finally watched Ice Cube’s “War of the Worlds” because I hate myself

“Here we go.”

Story: Will loves hanging out in his DHS computer bunker, to the detriment of his relationship with his kids. But when aliens come to earth with a nefarious agenda? Um, who cares? Let’s rock this computer security shit y’all. Let’s gooooo…

Scares: Just the horror of how lackluster this film is.
Splat Factor: A few splashes of blood, as people get hurt in the attack.

Subgenre: Bad Movies So Bad They’re Just…Bad
Year Released: 2025
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based on the book of the same name, by H. H. Wells. Very, very, very loosely based.

Trick or Treat?: Honestly? I only watched this because I have a quota of movies released in the current year I need to review, so I can keep my credentials. So here we go.

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