#31in31 2016: Camp Death

camp-death-poster“Realism? Fuck realism!”

Story: A film crew tries to make a slasher film, but didn’t expect a real killer to crash the joint. Ooh – so scary!

Scares: Zero. Lame concept, lame acting, lame blocking. Angles that leave the action off camera.

Splat factor: Zero. Death scenes shift to red filter, or just go full black screen. Even when you can see something, everything is out of focus anyway. It’s hard to tell what the hell is going on.

Closing scene “shocker”?: This film is too poorly made for anything to be even remotely shocking.  Except for the production values, of course.

Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Just another shit film to add to the pile.

Trick or Treat?: Not really a short, not quite a feature, at 39 minutes this could be considered a film novella. A really, really, bad film novella. Out of focus for the entire film, this looks like a film student’s “Hey, let’s put on show!” film. I’ll also guess that FrightFlix got this one for free.

Whoever “directed” this seems to dig girl on girl action, extreme closeups of nipples, the word “Fuck”, and pretending to know what to do on set. Actors faces are in shadow, when they’re actually on camera.

Camp Death still

An actual, in-focus, shot of this cinematic masterpiece, playing on my poor tortured TV.

Then there’s all the sex for absolutely no reason. I’m wondering if this movie was actually supposed to be porn, but no self-respecting adult production company wanted it.

I swear this looks like a film made on a dare: “bet you can’t make a movie in one hour from script to end credits!” It’s a sad, sad day when I look forward to seeing commercials on FrightFlix for their quality cinematography and characterization.

Half a pumpkin for the sheer balls it took to believe that this crap is more than a series of butt-dialed videos from a broken cellphone. So badly made that it’s not even funny. Not even worth a drunken hate watch. Don’t waste your time. Fuck.

Score: 0.5 out of 5 pumpkins.

pumpkin_half

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