“You look like Gandalf’s dick.” [Yep. High quality dialogue right here.]
Story: Two slackers named Karl and Miles head to a cabin in the middle of the woods to flip that sucker. But after a wild night of drinking and inadvertently summoning the Old Ones? Maybe this flip isn’t gonna be as easy as they thought.
Scares: None.
Splat Factor: Some blood here and there.
Subgenre: Remarkable Stupid Horror Comedies
Year Released: 2026
Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Original. But stupid.
Trick or Treat?: I decided to give this a try simply because I love Reno 911‘s Thomas Lennon. But even Lennon’s hilariously absurdist style can’t compensate for the unlikeable leads. Think Tucker and Dan vs Evil meets The Color Out of Space, but written by someone who doesn’t understand comedy beyond stupid bro jokes.
Yes, I understand that the film’s leads are supposed to be an absolute mess. But you can make messy characters likeable. Writer Clay Elliott does triple duty as writer, co-star and producer. There are times when that doesn’t pose a problem. But here, when that individual is still relatively new to all these roles? Things get lost.
As weird neighbor Hank, Lennon tries desperately to inject moments of enjoyment into this dud. As Meemaw, Pretty Little Liars‘ Troian Bellisario is an excellent balance to Lennon’s crazy. She plays it straight, giving the film a “leads are a fish out of water” vibe. Bellisario feels like she was pulled into this film from much better movie. I want to see that one.
Sadly, leads Cameron Fife and Elliott have the onscreen presence of wet lint. They’re doing their best, and they’ve got talent. But the disjointed narrative and pointlessly juvenile dialogue keeps this story feeling pointless. They come across not as millennial losers to root for, but thinly drawn stereotypes stuck in a meaningless story.
Gotta admit the cinematography is surprisingly gorgeous. The visual FX are surrealistically gorgeous. Though the CGI fireplace flames feel stupidly extra. So don’t say I never said anything good about this stupid film.
6th grade boys would find this funny, with the fart jokes and stupidly lowbrow humor. Or maybe if you’re off your tits your trip would make it funny. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to bleach this movie out of my head. Oh wait – it’s already gone.
Score: 2 out of 5 pumpkins. One star for the beautiful cinematography, the other for the performances from Lennon and Bellisario.
