Baltimore Screening Pass-palooza: Me Before You!

me before you onesheetL’amour.  L’AMOUR.  Amirite, people?  Nothing like a sweet love story to make you forget that we got approximately 5 seconds of Springtime this year.  This time, the love story in question is Me Before You, starring the Mother of Dragons and Finnick Odair…or something like that.  Synopsis!

Oftentimes you find love where you least expect it.  Sometimes it takes you where you never expected to go…Louisa “Lou” Clark (Emilia Clarke) lives in a quaint town in the English countryside.  With no clear direction in her life, the quirky and creative 26-year-old goes from one job to the next in order to help her tight-knit family make ends meet.  Her normally cheery outlook is put to the test, however, when she faces her newest career challenge.  Taking a job at the local “castle,” she becomes caregiver and companion to Will Traynor (Sam Claflin), a wealthy young banker who became wheelchair bound in an accident two years prior, and whose whole world changed dramatically in the blink of an eye.  No longer the adventurous soul he once was, the now cynical Will has all but given up.  That is until Lou determines to show him that life is worth living.  Embarking together on a series of adventures, both Lou and Will get more than they bargained for, and find their lives—and hearts—changing in ways neither one could have imagined.

The trailer is just adorable, and apparently these two loved pulling pranks on each other onset.  So I’m betting the onscreen chemistry between these two will be very cool. Passes?  Passes! Continue reading →

Posted in Free Screenings | Tagged , | Leave a comment

“Alice Through the Looking Glass” – Wonderland whimsy

ALICE one sheet

Nutshell: Entertaining, fun, and surprisingly – refreshingly – deep. Alice packs a whole lot of glorious enchantment into just under two hours. Alice herself isn’t quite the same, nor are a few other characters…but overall that’s not overwhelmingly bad, and the film’s rainbow colored fever dream makes it worthwhile.  Good thing; Time doesn’t like to be trifled with. Grade: B+

A sequel to 2010’s Alice in Wonderland was never really thought about…until the money started rolling in opening weekend.  Then?  Of course – bring forth the sequel!  Hey, there’s a pre-fab story already written by Carroll, let’s do this! In the vast film library of unnecessary sequels, there are plenty so horrible as to give even the most kindhearted filmgoer pause.  Luckily, Alice Through the Looking Glass isn’t horrible.  Does it feel like a cash grab? A’yup.  Absolutely.  But it’s entertaining enough an pretty to look at, and the time flies by as the screen is filled with the same kind of ornate psychedelic beauty the original film gave us.

It’s years later, and Alice (Mia Wasikowska) is now a ship’s captain.  Yes, that’s jaw-droppingly feminist for a time period flirting with the early 20th Century.  But don’t worry, MRAs; as soon as she returns to London, she’s brought back down a peg or twelve.  Her mother has sold Alice’s stock in the shipping company, and the only way to keep their house is if Alice signs the Wonder – Alice’s ship that she inherited from her father – over to the new Lord Ascot. (Or something like that. It’s tough to keep track with the rapid fire way we’re brought up to date on Alice.) Alice, naturally, walks away from the situation, and after seeing her Wonderland friend Absalom (voiced by Alan Rickman *sniff*) follows him into a study with a huge mirror.  Absalom flies into the mirror, and when Alice hears people trying to break down the door, she follows.  And while she’s happy to be back in Wonderland, all is not well; the Hatter (Johnny Depp, in his element) isn’t doing well.  Nobody believes his family is still alive, but he’s just discovered something that makes it clear that they are.  Well, clear to him.  But to find the truth of what happened to them, Alice must visit Time himself (Sacha Baron Cohen) and borrow his Chronosphere.  Problem?  Time says no-one should touch the Chronosphere, or else Dire Consequences.  Onward, to the Chronosphere! Continue reading →

Posted in Movie Reviews | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Wayback Review: Iron Man

[Since Green Man Review is just a memory, let’s revisit my review of Tony Stark’s first MCU joint, shall well?  From GMR, 6/11/2008.]

iron-man-posterI’m sorry. This is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee is back there. — Tony Stark

Another summer, another super-hero movie. Mask, cape or utility belt, the idea of one more homage to comic books leaving you a little overdosed? Don’t worry. Iron Man puts the fun back into the superhero genre. And it’s about time.

For those of you who aren’t up on the comic (or haven’t seen a tv or movie trailer in the last year or so), Iron Man is billionaire arms manufacturer Tony stark. A suave, womanizing, hard-partying playboy who earned his money the old fashioned way, by inheriting it. Stepping up to helm Stark Industries at the ripe old age of 21, the child prodigy developed toys the big boys couldn’t wait to play with. Unfortunately, they also tended to show up in the clutches of the bad guys. And when an all-grown-up-now Tony takes a tour of Afghanistan, he’s attacked and wounded with his own munitions, a hunk of which ends up lodged in his heart, inoperable. With the help of advanced magnetics and Tony’s know-how, he creates a device that keeps that piece of steel from piercing his heart, and also creates a way to get back at his captors. How, you ask? Cue Black Sabbath: dum, dum, dum dah dum . . . why, it’s Tony Stark as Iron Man! The suit gets more and more advanced as the movie goes on, which is a nice touch considering the many changes the suit has gone though in comic form over the past 40 years. But it’s not all smash-and-burn. There’s corporate power-plays, gravitas galore as Tony struggles to find his way after his near-death experience, and even some serious belly laughs (mostly at Tony’s expense.) Not to mention a little Tony and Pepper chemistry, which should play out nicely in future films. Oh, what’s that? Yeah, a sequel is coming. So get on board. Don’t wanna miss the start of this ride. Continue reading →

Posted in Movie Reviews, Wayback Reviews | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Mystery & Mayhem: Lynn Cahoon, ‘Teacups and Carnage’

cahoon teacups and carnage

Nutshell: Looking for a cozy mystery that’s heavy on characters but light on grue?  You’ve found it here.  While I would have liked a more tied-in death to make the story feel relevant to the main characters, Cahoon has a lovely way with storytelling that will hook you immediately.  Grade: A-

In South Cove, California, Jill Gardner – owner of Coffee, Books, and More – is getting her store, her coffee truck, and the rest of the South Cove businesses ready for a beach festival.  And there’s a new business getting ready to open; Tea Hee, a specialty shop run by former beauty queen Kathi Corbin.  As the fellas in the business association get all twitterpated, Kathi’s sister Ivy comes to town, and the discomfort between the two sisters is palpable.  When a dead body is discovered at the local no-tell motel, things start looking grim for Kathi.  Can Jill and her honey, Detective Greg King, figure it all out before Kathi’s in hot water? Continue reading →

Posted in Books, Mystery and Mayhem | Tagged , | Leave a comment

TrailerWatch: latest “Finding Dory” trailer is cute and (environmentally) conscious

finding dory onesheetDory!  Who doesn’t love that addled Blue Tang that helped Nemo?  Of course, everybody now knows that Dory is getting her own movie – Finding Dory, duuuuuh – but now you can know more with this new trailer!

What I love about this film?  More Dory!  More of the Tank Gang!  Scenes that show what trashing up our oceans can do to the creatures living in it! And, of course, more of that gorgeous Pixar animation.  What I didn’t particularly love?  I know this is a kids film first and foremost, I kinda wish there were more bits of realism with the fish and invertebrates.  Someone picking up a Tang will most likely get a nasty cut thanks to their caudal spine.  An octopus shouldn’t be put in a touch tank; they’d clamber right out. (They’re crazy smart – the scene with Hank the octopus wandering around the aquarium building isn’t too far off the mark.  I’ve heard that they’re able and ready to get moving if anyone leaves their enclosure open even a crack…)

Enough of my marine bio nerdom.  Synopsis!

Six months after the events of the first film, Dory suddenly recalls her childhood memories. Remembering something about “the jewel of Morro Bay, California”, accompanied by Nemo and Marlin, she sets out to find her family. She arrives at the Monterey Marine Life Institute, where she meets Bailey, a white beluga whale; Destiny, a whale shark; and Hank, an octopus, who becomes her guide.

Finding Dory hits theaters June 17th.

Posted in Trailers | Tagged | Leave a comment

TrailerWatch: Disney’s live-action “Beauty and the Beast” teaser brings the misty

beauty and the beast teaser posterTale as old as time… And here I go, misting up again.  Because Beauty and the Beast is a classic, from the original tale to the animated Disney musical.  And now Disney is upping its game, bringing Beauty and the Beast into live-action, as they’ve recently done with Maleficent, Jungle Book, and Cinderella.  With the first teaser-trailer hitting the interwebs, it’s time to look at what they’ve got in store.  And I have to admit, I got the misties once the music hit my earparts.

While there’s not too much given away here – you barely see Emma Watson as Belle until the very last shot – I got the tingles when I saw the dusty castle, and heard the low growl of Beast.  And as Luke Evans said singing is his “first passion”, I can’t wait to check out his pipes as Gaston.  And to be honest, I can’t wait to hear Watson and Downton Abbey’s Dan Stevens duet as Belle and Beast. (Meanwhile, as Velvet Goldmine is one of my favorite not-so-guilty pleasures, I know Ewan McGregor will kill it as Lumiere…)

Check out this sneak-peek; Beauty and the Beast hits theaters March 17, 2017.

Posted in Trailers | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Columbia Screening Pass-palooza: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows!

Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-Out-of-the-Shadows-posterRadical, dude!  Gnarly!  No, I haven’t been hit on the head and taken back to the 80s.  I’ve been spending time with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!  And I’ve got passes for their latest film, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows.  Synopsis!

After supervillain Shredder escapes custody, he joins forces with mad scientist Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry) and two dimwitted henchmen, Bebop (Gary Anthony Williams) and Rocksteady (WWE Superstar Stephen “Sheamus” Farrelly), to unleash a diabolical plan to take over the world. As the Turtles prepare to take on Shredder and his new crew, they find themselves facing an even greater evil with similar intentions: the notorious Krang.

I’m looking forward to seeing how Tyler Perry does playing eeeeevil.  Hoping he’ll dial it up to 11…

Passes! Here!  No sewer scrambling required!

Continue reading →

Posted in Free Screenings | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

The Nice Guys: damn nice buddy comedy

The-Nice-Guys-poster-2

Nutshell: Crowe.  Gosling.  Buddy perfection? Damn straight.  Writer/Director Shane Black shows he’s got a helluva lot more where Lethal Weapon and The Long Kiss Goodnight came from. Maybe a bit too crazy sometimes, but overall a fun ride. Grade: A-

“You can’t even say Baryshnikov!”

When a movie decides to go all-in with the retro vibe, I’m all over it like Qiana on Steve Martin’s wild and crazy guy.  Hey, even if the film sucks, the retro can’t be all bad, right?  Well, with The Nice Guys, both the retro and the action are as fine as a pair of horse-pocket Jordache jeans.  Ladies, Gosling is more than the “Hey Girl” meme.  He’s got wicked sharp comedic chops.  And with Crowe playing the straight man to Gosling’s crazy, it’s a match made in bromance heaven.

Continue reading →

Posted in Movie Reviews | Tagged | Leave a comment

“Baywatch” movie teaser pic says have a nice summer, catch you next year

Baywatch!  Who didn’t love that TV show?  All the reruns, all the slo-mo running on the beach.  So much red swimsuit.  Here’s the movie adaptation, with a bunch of cool actors.  Who?  Um, Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Priyanka Chopra (seriously; use this summer to catch up on Quantico), Jon Bass, Kelly Rohrbach, Ilfenesh Hadera, Hannibal Buress… Synopsis!  (Like you even care with all that pretty…)

BAYWATCH follows devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon (Johnson) as he butts heads with a brash new recruit (Efron). Together, they uncover a local criminal plot that threatens the future of the Bay.

Baywatch breaststrokes into theaters May 19th 2017.  But until then, we all have this picture.  Enjoy.

image001 image002

Posted in Movie News | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Michael Ian Black’s newest album, “Noted Expert”, hits Google Play, iTunes, Friday!

MIB-NotedExpert_titleV04_042116Gotta love Michael Ian Black.  From MTV’s “I Love The…” series to Wet Hot American Summer, he’s a hoot.  [#Protip: read America You Sexy Bitch, a book about politics, America, road-trips, and everything in between that he wrote with conservative/foil Meghan McCain.  It’s a great read, and perfect for this election season.]

MIB has a new album that’s hitting tomorrow.  It’s called Michael Ian Black: Noted Expert, and I can’t wait to get my paws on it.

Comedy Dynamics has really been going above and beyond with the funny lately.  Louis C.K., Kevin Hart, Craig Ferguson…I love me some quality stand-up.

Read on for the full press 411!
Continue reading →

Posted in Entertainment News | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment