“Hey John, here it comes!”
Story: Big comet is headed our way y’all! And Bruce Willis John Cusak Dwayne Johnson Gerard Butler’s John Garrity is doing what he can to save his estranged wife Allison and cute son Nathan from the coming “extinction level event”. Cue the CGI madness! Um, you can cue it any time now. Any… Time… *checks watch yet again*
Genre I’d put it in: Disaster Pr0n
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on every other disaster movie you’ve seen.
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“You know they put themselves in danger, girls like that.”
Story: Cassie and Nina grew up together. Went to med school together. And dropped out of med school together, after Nina was horribly raped during a party. Years later, Cassie leads a life of making sure douchey men think twice before taking advantage of women…but then a run-in with a former med-school classmate stokes thoughts of revenge. Revenge served freezing cold.
Genre I’d put it in: Payback’s A Bitch Pitch-Black Comedies
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on Emerald Fennell’s short film “Careful How You Go”.
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C’mon, let’s watch the sequel to The Croods! Synopsis!
The Croods have survived their fair share of dangers and disasters, from fanged prehistoric beasts to surviving the end of the world, but now they will face their biggest challenge of all: another family.
So get that popcorn ready, grab something to drink, and watch along with us! Don’t forget to chime in on Twitter using #TheCroodsWatchParty and #CroodsNewAge. It’s gonna be fun! Remember fun? “See” you there!
DreamWorks Animation’s THE CROODS: A NEW AGE is on PVOD this Friday, December 18th
Official Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | #CroodsNewAge
Okay, so the film Half Brothers had me at that adorable goat. I don’t know why he’s being carried, but I want to know. Synopsis!
Renato, a successful Mexican aviation executive, is shocked to discover he has an American half-brother he never knew about, the free-spirited Asher. The two very different half-brothers are forced on a road journey together masterminded by their ailing father, tracing the path their father took as an immigrant from Mexico to the US.
This sounds like a great all-in family film for the holidays, whether you have a goat or, like me, worship them from afar. Check out the tips from stars Luis Gerardo Méndez and Connor Del Rio – seriously, are we related? – and Happy Merry y’all! (Click on the links below to view!)
Half Brothers is available at home on demand December 23rd!
TIP #1 – smile & nod
TIP #2 – stick with the pets
TIP #3 – never expect anyone to arrive on time
I’ve been stoked about this movie since I saw the teaser trailer last year. So I’m so happy to share virtual passes with y’all! Synopsis!
From ground-breaking director Emerald Fennell comes a delicious new take on revenge. Everyone said Cassie (Carey Mulligan) was a promising young woman … until a mysterious event abruptly derailed her future. But nothing in Cassie’s life is what it appears to be: she’s wickedly smart, tantalizingly cunning, and she’s living a secret double life by night. Now, an unexpected encounter is about to give Cassie a chance to right the wrongs of the past in this thrilling and wildly entertaining story.
Ready? Get your sofa set up – and let’s go!
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“Why are you holding a rainbow unicorn?”
Where I Watched: Vudu’s 99 cent holiday sale
Genre: Single Parents Find Love Through Mixups Holiday Romance
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: We’ve seen enemies to love stories before, though this is original. Ish.
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“I guess we both have demons to face, going down this road.”
Story: Captain Jefferson Kyle Kidd goes from town to town in the West, reading the news to people in an engaging style. When he finds a “wild” girl after her guardian had been attacked and lynched, he takes it upon himself to bring her home. But as she’s spent more time with the Kiowa people, what is home, exactly?
Genre I’d put it in: New Retro Western
Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the novel of the same name by Paulette Jiles.
“I don’t know what’s worse – a bunch of loud, messy, noisy people, or a quiet house all to yourself.”‘Oh, I’d take the latter any day.’ (Girl PREACH #LoveYouFam)
Where I Watched: Vudu’s 99 cent holiday sale
Genre: Family – And Love – Is A Curse And A Blessing Holidayness
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: Copies the” families + holidays = crazypants” style of holiday hijijks.
Synopsis: Jacquie is accomplished AF in her work life, mostly because she’s a perfectionist. She’s also got a great big boisterous family that’s coming to her brand new house…and a work related holiday home photo shoot scheduled for Xmas day that could change her life. Hey, where’s the dog…? Continue reading
“Listen honey, you have to trust me on this. A Christmas wedding will be perfect, something no one would expect.”
– a line said unironically by the future mom-in-law
Where I Watched: Netflix
Genre: Crappy Holiday “Get Happy Dammit” Stories
New Holiday Spirit or Ghost of Christmas Past?: An extremely wobbly riff on It’s A Wonderful Life.
Continue readingLooking for more to watch while you’re at home, wrapping prezzies and avoiding strangers? I got you, boo. Synopsis!
A family fights for survival as a planet-killing comet races to Earth. John Garrity (Gerard Butler), his estranged wife Allison (Morena Baccarin), and young son Nathan make a perilous journey to their only hope for sanctuary. Amid terrifying news accounts of cities around the world being leveled by the comet’s fragments, the Garrity’s experience the best and worst in humanity while they battle the increasing panic and lawlessness surrounding them. As the countdown to global apocalypse approaches zero, their incredible trek culminates in a desperate and last-minute flight to a possible safe haven.
Ready? Let’s go…to our sofas!
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Got a dollar to spare? Seriously: one dollar to spare?
