Muppets Most Wanted! Baltimore! Free Screening!

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Let’s make this one easy.

Visit www.SeeItFirst.net; Enter code: 442372

Saturday, March 15
10:30 AM
Cinemark Egyptian
700 Arundel Mills Circle, Hanover, MD

Remember: seating for screenings are first come, first served and not guaranteed. So get there early to grab a seat!

BTW, Synopsis:

Disney’s “Muppets Most Wanted” takes the entire Muppets gang on a global tour, selling out grand theaters in some of Europe’s most exciting destinations, including Berlin, Madrid, Dublin and London. But mayhem follows the Muppets overseas, as they find themselves unwittingly entangled in an international crime caper headed by Constantine—the World’s Number One Criminal and a dead ringer for Kermit—and his dastardly sidekick Dominic, aka Number Two, portrayed by Ricky Gervais. The film stars Tina Fey as Nadya, a feisty prison guard, and Ty Burrell as Interpol agent Jean Pierre Napoleon.

Disney’s “Muppets Most Wanted” is directed by James Bobin and produced by David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman. Bobin wrote the screenplay with Nicholas Stoller, who is also executive producer with John G. Scotti. Featuring music from Academy Award®-winning songwriter Bret McKenzie, “Muppets Most Wanted” hits the big screen March 21, 2014.

Yaaaaay! *flails arms like Kermit*

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Movie Review – 300: Rise of an Empire

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Wham!  Slam!  Slice!  Trounce!  There’s tons of fighting, and gobs of CGI blood in 300: Rise of an Empire.  There’s even a few scenes where the “blood” spatters onto the lens.  Ooh, that’s gory!  Well, kinda.  It’s computerized gory, but gotta give it to Director Norm Murro for giving his audience exactly what they’re hoping for.  What Murro doesn’t give his audience is any kind of coherent story, or a reason to root for anyone other than the SFX folks giving us the bloody eye candy.

With tons of breathtaking visuals — all shot in the usual Frank Miller Style of heavy black, white, red and sepia — Rise delivers on fanboy blood-lust.  Pity characters are nothing more than chess pieces thrown around from one battle to the next.  And any scene where nobody’s bleeding?  Yawn.  Literally; I toyed with the idea of a Clockwork Orange eye-opener to keep myself from nodding off.  Which is a shame, because Eva Green and Lena Hedley deserve better.  Hell, Hedley deserved more than a nanosecond of screen time, especially as her Queen Gorgo goes from a big-ol’ thumbs down on a united Greece to screaming for vengeance.  Do we see that switch?  Nup.  Too busy with Green’s Xena warrior princess Artemisia and Sullivan Stapleton’s General Themistokles’ awkward hate sex.  

And anyone hoping for more screen time for everybody’s favorite Persian God-King in gold lamé, he barely registers.  Yes, Rise is touted as the film that’ll give us how Xerxes rose to power…and okay it does.  In 10 minutes flat. The rest of the time it’s the Artemisia and Themistokles show.  Green and Stapleton are game for shouldering the movie, but all they’re really given to do is snarl at each other and cut things.

As for the 3D, it’s an unnecessary luxury here.  With so much blood but little else flying all over the place, this 3D conversion doesn’t add anything to the experience.  That said, IMAX certainly does, with each bit of entrancing ultra-violence blown up to Kong-like size.  So if you’re going for serious visual awesome, definitely spring for the IMAX upgrade.  And honestly, going to Rise for the action should be the only reason you’re hitting the multiplex for this film.  Any other reason will leave you cruelly disappointed.

If I were a teacher, I’d give 300: Rise of an Empire a C.  Grand and truly spectacular effects can’t lift a film with a patchy storyline above the realm of the mediocre.

 

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Free screening: The Grand Budapest Hotel

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I’ve already seen it, but I’m on a strict press embargo.  So I can’t tell you that it’s kinda awesome.  Oh man.

Anyway, until they shut me down, I’ve got passes to the Baltimore area screening of The Grand Budapest Hotel!  What’s it about?  Well, it’s Wes Anderson, so the basic premise is just a place-holder for random acts of coolness, but here goes the synopsis anyway:

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL recounts the adventures of Gustave H, a legendary concierge at a famous European hotel between the wars; and Zero Moustafa, the lobby boy who becomes his most trusted friend. The story involves the theft and recovery of a priceless Renaissance painting; a raging battle for an enormous family fortune; a desperate chase on motorcycles, trains, sleds, and skis; and the sweetest confection of a love affair — all against the back-drop of a suddenly and dramatically changing Continent.

Rated R / Running Time: 100 min

TRAILER: http://www.grandbudapesthotel.com/

Thieves! Disputes! War! Love! Of course you want to see this. Here’s how….
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Amy Pond gets her horror on in Oculus

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Okay fine, so it’s really Karen Gillian, but we’ve all known and loved her as Doctor Who‘s companion Amy Pond.  So that’s what I’m going with.  Ignoring reality!

I’ve got high hopes for this film, because it’s a fannish double-play.  Who fans have Gillian, and BSG fans get Katie Sackhoff.  Two treats in one!  As for the story, here’s the synopsis for Oculus from IMDb [UPDATE — from the studio’s release]:

Ten years ago, tragedy struck the Russell family, leaving the lives of teenage siblings Tim and Kaylie forever changed when Tim was convicted of the brutal murder of their parents.  Now in his 20s, Tim is newly released from protective custody and only wants to move on with his life; but Kaylie, still haunted by that fateful night, is convinced her parents’ deaths were caused by something else altogether:  a malevolent supernatural force¬¬ unleashed through the Lasser Glass, an antique mirror in their childhood home.  Determined to prove Tim’s innocence, Kaylie tracks down the mirror, only to learn similar deaths have befallen previous owners over the past century.  With the mysterious entity now back in their hands, Tim and Kaylie soon find their hold on reality shattered by terrifying hallucinations, and realize, too late, that their childhood nightmare is beginning again…

Plus, there’s the damn creepy poster.  Very Escher, IMHO.

Okay, enjoy the stills from the film!  Are you psyched?

Oculus opens April 11th, 2014.

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Baltimore Screening: Need for Speed — free passes!

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Okay, have you seen all the Oscar nominees?  Or at least all the winners?  No matter; I’ve got passes to a groovy new adrenaline rush called Need For Speed zooming your way.  Wanna know what it’s about?

NEED FOR SPEED
In Theaters March 14

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Rated PG-13
Cast: Aaron Paul, Dominic Cooper, Imogen Poots, Ramon Rodriguez, Rami Malek, Scott Mescudi, Dakota Johnson, Harrison Gilbertson and Michael Keaton
Director: Scott Waugh

DreamWorks Pictures’ “Need for Speed” marks an exciting return to the great car culture films of the 1960s and ’70s, when the authenticity of the world brought a new level of intensity to the action on-screen. Tapping into what makes the American myth of the open road so appealing, the story chronicles a near-impossible cross-country journey for our heroes — one that begins as a mission for revenge, but proves to be one of redemption. Based on the most successful racing video game franchise ever with over 140 million copies sold, “Need for Speed” captures the freedom and excitement of the game in a real-world setting, while bringing to life the passion for the road that has made our love of cars so timeless.

The film centers around Tobey Marshall (Aaron Paul), a blue-collar mechanic who races muscle cars on the side in an unsanctioned street-racing circuit. Struggling to keep his family-owned garage afloat, he reluctantly partners with the wealthy and arrogant ex-NASCAR driver Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper). But just as a major sale to car broker Julia Maddon (Imogen Poots) looks like it will save Tobey’s shop, a disastrous race allows Dino to frame Tobey for a crime he didn’t commit, and sending Tobey to prison while Dino expands his business out West.

Two years later, Tobey is released and set on revenge — but he knows his only chance to take down his rival Dino is to defeat him in the high-stakes race known as De Leon — the Super Bowl of underground racing. However to get there in time, Tobey will have to run a high-octane, action-packed gauntlet that includes dodging pursuing cops coast-to-coast as well as contending with a dangerous bounty Dino has put out on his car. With the help of his loyal crew and the surprisingly resourceful Julia, Tobey defies odds at every turn and proves that even in the flashy world of exotic supercars, the underdog can still finish first.

“Need for Speed” is presented by DreamWorks Pictures, produced by Patrick O’Brien, John Gatins and MarkSourian, and directed by Scott Waugh. The screenplay is by George Gatins. The story is by George Gatins & JohnGatins, and, based on the video game series created by Electronic Arts. The film releases in U.S. theaters on March 14, 2014.

And here’s now to grab a pair of passes for yourself….

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“Who Am I to Judge?” Pope Francis T-Shirt Celebrates Diversity and Promotes Archetypes Not Stereotypes

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Runway model, Hannah Herreid makes a statement outside of New York Fashion Week in "Who Am I to Judge?" Pope Francis T-shirt Just say no to stereotypes by Archetypes.com. (PRNewsFoto/Archetypes)

With all the hullabaloo over the idiots in power in Arizona, I had to smile when I saw this release. And when I smile I share.

Seriously, THE POPE said “who am I to judge”, regarding gay clergy. That kinda makes jerks that will use religious beliefs to refuse service to those they deem “unworthy” sound like the idiots they are.

And plus, cool shirt! And long sleeve. Mmmm, t-shirts. My addiction. (Followed closely by licorice, good beer, and those silly little bracelet charms. Hey, I ain’t judging you….)

Full press release after the jump!

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Holy crap the new Godzilla trailer is awesome!

This is how you use a deep bass Horror Dubstep soundtrack. This is how to edit multiple cuts to black. This is how Bryan Cranston is gonna make us forget about Heisenberg. Well, for a little while at least.

“All those nuclear tests in the Pacific. Not tests.”

“They were trying to kill it.”

Yesssss!

Marvel set the bar for blockbuster trailers damn high with their Guardians of the Galaxy spot on Jimmy Kimmel. But with this Godzilla bit, Warner Bros just showed it’s more than up to the job of freaking fans the hell out.

Godzilla crashes through theaters May 16th.

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300 Rise of an Empire! Free passes!

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Guts! Glory! More guts! 300 was a blast, and very true to Frank Miller’s original graphic novel. (Maybe not so historically accurate, but let my sisters quibble about that, shall we?)

The sequel that you’ve seen trailers for is now coming at’cha, and you know I’ve got passes. So come get some!

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Spider-Man and Gwen Stacy team up for Earth Hour

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Spider-Man. Web slinger. Crime fighter. Eco-warrior? Darn tootin. Spidey has just been tapped as the first Super Hero Ambassador for Earth Hour, a “global movement” best known for it’s plea to do without energy for one hour each year. (Mark your calendar: this year’s Earth Hour is March 29, 2014 at 8:30pm.)

Okay, so it’ll be Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone – the folks playing Spider-Man and Gwen Stacy in Spider-Man 2 this summer – that will be doing the heavy lifting. They’ll be supporting Earth Hour Blue project ‘A Flame Called Hope’ and the ‘Puppy Protectors’ project, respectively. Clean bio-gas for Nepal & puppies that will be trained to help bust animal poachers and traffickers? Now that’s truly Super.

So, what are you going to do when the lights go out?

The press release after the jump!

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What’cha Reading? – Parasite, Mira Grant

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Time for a little bit of couch surfing y’all. So much horror currently in the movies is either played for humor or so desperate to chill you to the bone that all the enjoyment is sucked out of it.

Ergo, bookie-book time! And this one’s a doozy. I mean that in the most complimentary way possible. Let get this party started, shall we?

Plot, what plot?: Sally got into a horrifying car crash that left her brain dead. However, just as life support is about to be pulled, she wakes up, but with no memories. Could genetically engineered tapeworms that serve as “Intestinal Bodyguards” have something to do with her recovery, as well as the sudden rash of a strange “sleeping sickness”? C’mon.

Anyone worth caring about?: Indeed. Sally is a compelling, fully fleshed character whose motivation, fears and struggles are not only easy to understand, but are at times heartbreaking. Grant does an excellent job of getting into Sally’s though processes, delivering a character I’m rooting for, and kinda wanna be. Sally’s family are more crudely drawn, but dependable, loving boyfriend Nathan is a dreamboat in a lab coat. Favorite supporting character? Definitely Tansy, who is wacky in a good – and bad – way.

What’s cool, new or different: Tapeworms that take over the world! Oh wait, that’s been done, but the science behind this particular riff on the zombie genre is new and exciting. I’m looking forward to following books in the series getting us deeper into the Us Vs. Them that’s only beginning here.

I’m also loving the way Grant skewers the medical establishment’s ability to gloss over troubling items, and how we as individuals are willing to turn a blind eye to those things as long as we’re given something that makes our lives easier. (Bonus points for the awesome SymboGen website!)

What’s exactly like something you’ve read before: A definite feel of Stephanie Meyer’s The Host, in terms of things living inside us, but in Parasite they’re not aliens, they’re a product of humanity’s need to tinker. I had a prickly feeling along the back of my neck, as I did with The Ruins, regarding the worms and their ability to adapt and take over. But the same can be said for any story about humans forced to become Other.

Series or stand-alone?: First in the Parasitology series.

Gushing/Gobsmacked: Gotta gush about the attention to medical and scientific detail here. It’s no Robin Cook or Michael Crichton novel, but there’s tons of cool technical talky-talk for the wannabe CDC researcher in me. Parasite kicks this new series off with a bang; it’s been awhile since I had a true nonstop page-turner, but this book more than makes up for that dry spell. I started it in late afternoon, took a short dinner break, then read til 2:30 am. Forced myself to sleep, and then wrapped up first thing in the morning. That’s the definition of a fun ride, y’all.

But I’m absolutely gobsmacked by the unsurprising endnote, a reveal shocking to only those who weren’t paying attention. I won’t completely spoil it here, but just my mentioning the We Knew That Already ending will probably…. Nah. There’s no way to further spoil that twist. Grant all but clobbers you with it from the get go. Doesn’t spoil any characters for me, and there are other twists that are harder to spot, but still. Tada! Nup.

Rating: 4 out of 5. I’d love to give Parasite 5 stars, but I can’t in good conscience let that known-from-the-start “twist” sail by.

I got this thanks to: my own devices. No free ARC, no champagne, no licorice.

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